Okay, so it's coming out day for me. I texted my mom, I've been talking to her for about a month but haven't really said anything specific, in the txt I say it's a gender issue and that I wrote a letter that explains.

So I'm a little from a few hours till it happens...

I decide to draw a card from my tarot deck, maybe it will be able to tell me how this will go. I joke, "If it's Death I'm just going to kill myself right now."

Shuffled it well and good, picked it with eyes closed...

Yeah... Death... 1/78 chance....

.... shaking, cried a bit...

I'm not committing suicide over a card even if I think it means something... but beyond scared right now... I'll tell you how it goes... If I live long enough...

Edit: I know it doesn't mean me dying... and you could twist it to mean the end of my life as I am now and the beginning of transition... but still REALLY? That card, I grabbed this one card... scared me so much...

Coming out is very scary. I recently started coming out myself. I hope it goes well. Keep us posted.

Good luck to you, Sour Candy.

I think that, perhaps, the "Death" card was meant for your old self!  And that a new you is being born. 

Death doesn't mean literal death usually.  Death is exceptionally appropriate for your coming out because you have ended the charade of being male.  It is about the ending of one thing so that a new one can begin.

It didn't go nearly as bad as I thought, but nothing really happened.

I sat down with the letter for thirty minutes, handed it to her, explained that it was the letter and that I was really scared/embarrassed to say some of the things in it (It's hard for me to talk about anything sometimes). She read it twice, told me we'd talk later.

She just came in and said "We'll talk eventually, It needs some time to set in." Sooo... I'm glad it didn't turn out with them stabbing me in the face! Given how long it took me to come out, I have to be understanding that it's not something she can just react to. (and maybe for the best).

Victory! But this means I can't really bring it up anymore until she's ready to talk about it, and I have spoken with a wonderful therapist and want to start seeing her, buuut I don't have my own car and am not a strong driver, and said therapist is 2 hours away.

x.x

That is great she did not explode. I hope she is accepting, and supportive.

Letting it set in is definitely a good starting point. That means she's probably at least somewhat open to the idea, and that will probably really help you through the whole process.

Quote from: SourCandy on June 07, 2012, 09:00:04 PM
... I have spoken with a wonderful therapist and want to start seeing her, buuut I don't have my own car and am not a strong driver, and said therapist is 2 hours away.

Skype?

Quote from: Jamie D on June 08, 2012, 05:25:49 AM
Skype?

Well thankfully I won't need to, x3 I asked my best friend (who I came out to a month or so ago), and he said he'd drive me. So I've made the appointment! I'm really happy about that.

Things sound promising. 

Quote from: SourCandy on June 08, 2012, 06:57:14 AM
Well thankfully I won't need to, x3 I asked my best friend (who I came out to a month or so ago), and he said he'd drive me. So I've made the appointment! I'm really happy about that.

That is exciting. It is great your best friend is helpful. It sounds like coming out to him worked out well for you.

Awesome! I hope things continue to go well for you.

This sounds really good.

BTW it is seemingly common for TG people to have death dreams or thought when they start to accept themselves. As some one mentioned it is seemingly linked to acceptance of the 'new' you and burying the old. I certainly had those feelings and they distressed me for a while until I talked to my therapist about it. In your case it may have been magnified by drawing the card, or maybe the cards were telling the truth.

Cindy

I am not into the cards myself, but I have read that a lot of people use them as a way to trigger self analysis along the lines of whatever card comes up.  In this case it would be the thought of killing off the parts of yourself you want to be rid of, as others have posted.

Karen.

*huggles everyone* Thanks, I was really nervous so drawing that card freaked me out, x3 It can mean bad change too, but you guys are right, I'm really hopeful that that card actually did mean good things, =P

Thank you all ^^ I almost lost my nerve when that happened and posting here was really what kept me going through with it.

=] You are all the best <3