I'm not on T because I didn't like changes and I don't want to lose my hair so some may think I'm a "faker" or a vain little prick but oh well, that's just me. I also know that passing 100% is very rare for me because I can't grow a beard (not that there's even some cis guys out there that can't grow beards but I have more and more of a hunch that's a big part of getting "ma'am'd").

If I were in your shoes and in spite of knowing you can't pick and choose changes, etc. I went on T and stuck it out for as long as you have with no really noticeable changes I'd feel pretty frustrated as well. I don't think you're "whining" or whatever, I think you're just frustrated. But like everyone says, "second" puberty takes a different amount of time for everyone. I think for FTM guys there's even more variables too. You're not starting from a "baseline" like a cis male, where the only thing that's getting activated is T. You have a body producing a crap load of E. I think in some cases it's like trying to reverse a freight train that's going full speed. You can't really. You have to slow down, stop, then start going in another direction - slowly.

Also, if you're in a situation where you haven't been able to get a job and you're stuck living under your family's roof, I don't think yelling/demanding they conform to your views on the matter is a good idea. I remember you posting that they were uber religious, etc. I think that would cause you more grief, so I say keep doing what you're doing there and keep looking for work so you can get the hell out of there and reboot your life.

As for the voice ... yeah it pretty much sounds like the last time you posted a clip. I'd say maybe on the phone I'd think you were a teenage guy. In person though, I'd think you were just a dude with a voice on the higher range. There's plenty of FTM guys I've seen (including some of the more well known guys who have been on T for a very long time) who just have naturally higher range voices. Maybe yours will drop more, maybe not but don't let that alone be the deal breaker for you. I think once you get out on your own you can build that confidence up to actually correct people when they misgender you.

@Hayzer12: Thanks. The thing is my mother can't talk about trans stuff for too long, it upsets her too much. And whenever there is company either at my grandmothers house or my house, they don't want anyone to know that I'm trans, their embarrassed and/or ashamed, I don't know. And another thing is, people in my family don't share secrets, so not everyone in my family knows I'm trans. I don't even know who knows I'm trans in my family. I think my immediate family knows though, but relatives that live in other states don't know and my mom and grandmother don't want them to know, it's a secret. If that got out, I'd be in trouble.

QuoteAlso, I feel like you have changed a bit on T... You still haven't taken pics from the same angle as your pre-T ones, but I still see a few years of age in regards to your appearance in this year on T.

Thank you. I forget what angel I take pics from and end up taking pics in the opposite angle, lol.

QuoteI don't know what to say, but I really do - again - wish you all the best. I didn't hear your voice clip though, so I cannot tell you whether I believe your voice passes or not.

Thanks. Yeah, I just took that down, I thought everyone was done listening to it.

@insideontheoutside: I totally understand about you not wanting to get on T b/c of hair lost and some other changes your not into. Losing my hair was one of the big things about not wanting to take T, but my solution to that is a wig. Hopefully no one will be able to tell I'm wearing a wig. I still freak out and worry about my hair loss. I worry everyday about it.

I'm sorry that it's hard for you to pass pre-t. I rarely passed pre-t too.

QuoteI don't think you're "whining" or whatever, I think you're just frustrated

Yes, this is true, I am very frustrated. Like I've said before, when people I haven't seen in years don't notice anything and tell me I look exactly the same, it's frustrating.

QuoteAlso, if you're in a situation where you haven't been able to get a job and you're stuck living under your family's roof, I don't think yelling/demanding they conform to your views on the matter is a good idea. I remember you posting that they were uber religious, etc. I think that would cause you more grief, so I say keep doing what you're doing there and keep looking for work so you can get the hell out of there and reboot your life.

My mom has told me that moving out would be the best thing, that way I could make a fresh new start where no one knows me as female. She says too many people know me here. I don't think too many people know my here though. My mom has told me many time she would never kick me out and I can stay and long as I want. But we both know moving out would be the best thing. But I can't seem to find a job and need repairs on my car that I can't afford so if I don't get a job soon to pay for the repairs my car has to come off the road and then my mom might have to sell my car.

QuoteAs for the voice ... yeah it pretty much sounds like the last time you posted a clip. I'd say maybe on the phone I'd think you were a teenage guy. In person though, I'd think you were just a dude with a voice on the higher range. There's plenty of FTM guys I've seen (including some of the more well known guys who have been on T for a very long time) who just have naturally higher range voices. Maybe yours will drop more, maybe not but don't let that alone be the deal breaker for you. I think once you get out on your own you can build that confidence up to actually correct people when they misgender you.

Yeah, it sucks it still hasn't got'n deeper since the last clip I posted months ago. The thing about my voice is that I don't want to be mistaken as a gay guy since my voice is still high. I really hope it gets deeper.

QuoteI think once you get out on your own you can build that confidence up to actually correct people when they misgender you.

I hope so.

I watched the Kentucky Derby on TV a couple of weeks ago. They went to interview one of the jockeys, and you know they're all small guys like yourself. When I finally heard his voice, I was like WOW, he sounds FTM, like his voice was still changing, or like his voice hadn't quite dropped all the way. He was just a small cis-dude. I am so used to hearing all the voice clips from all the boys on here, and he sounded JUST LIKE THAT. Just like you sound. And it's fine! You sound totally male. Young, but MALE! 

Quote from: Andy on June 05, 2012, 03:47:53 PM
He was just a small cis-dude.

How do you know?

<<How do you know?>>

Good point! I wonder if any of those jockey guys are FTM--! This was the guy who rode "I'll Have Another," who was the winner.

Quote from: Andy on June 05, 2012, 03:47:53 PM
I watched the Kentucky Derby on TV a couple of weeks ago. They went to interview one of the jockeys, and you know they're all small guys like yourself. When I finally heard his voice, I was like WOW, he sounds FTM, like his voice was still changing, or like his voice hadn't quite dropped all the way. He was just a small cis-dude. I am so used to hearing all the voice clips from all the boys on here, and he sounded JUST LIKE THAT. Just like you sound. And it's fine! You sound totally male. Young, but MALE! 

Thanks!

the way i see it, the changes may take time but think of it like this you lived your life (insert number of years here) without t so now you hve to keep pushing along. think of how happy and worth it itll allbe. try to be positive i hvent started mine yet so always try to remember youre one of the lucky ones. some people never even get to start them : stay positive friend. ps sorry for crappy typing.(dumb phone:p)

Quote from: AlexanderReese on June 10, 2012, 12:30:02 AM
the way i see it, the changes may take time but think of it like this you lived your life (insert number of years here) without t so now you hve to keep pushing along. think of how happy and worth it itll allbe. try to be positive i hvent started mine yet so always try to remember youre one of the lucky ones. some people never even get to start them : stay positive friend. ps sorry for crappy typing.(dumb phone:p)

Do you plan on taking T at some point?

I don't consider myself lucky being on T b/c of the negative effects, like hair loss, etc... I'm trying to stay positive though. One of my cousins did say I've changed on T and my counselor said I've changed too, but others say I look the same, so I'm kinda confused as to if I've changed or not on T...?