Quote from: Eve of chaos on June 16, 2012, 04:15:34 AM
the thing that confuses me the most is that lately Ive slacked on my appearance so a more androgynous style. so they must clearly be hitting on me because I'm trans. but I hate to think that I really dont pass anymore. especially when everyone has been telling me I look better. :/

the wal amrt guy wanted to take me out tonight. but I never heard fom him so that crisis was averted.

Maybe they aren't hitting on you because they think you're trans, but because they love the alternative/rebellious look ~. You tell, 'cause my judgement in biased as you know!

I thought all Americans were armed to the teeth?  I'd prefer a short barrelled .38 to a pepper spray any day! Pepper? I want to hurt them not eat them!

Actually the best thing is to call 000 or in your case 911, if they are a real weirdo.  Anyone like the guy at the door of the shop will have done similar or likely repeat it in the future.  The Police love video evidence, it makes interviewing them so much fun when you can produce it after they have denied everything.  The look on their face is priceless.

Karen.

happened again for the fourth day in a row. I was in line at subway during pridefest and some guy behind me starting trying to make conversation in line. I was friendly but i was trying to give the not interested vibe. he told me to wait for him after i got my food so I knew I'd have to say something.

he sat down with me and made it awkward to eat my meal. kept asking me stupid stuff then he finally said "when am I gonna see you again" so I said "depends on your intentions" then i just told him I',m into girls. he seemed really shocked. kept asking me "for real?" but really with the giant gay pride festival going on I dont think it shouldve been so shocking. im led to believe he did know I was trans and figured that must mean im into dudes. because next he said "well give me your number anyway, we can still kick it. i mean you have friends right?" I didnt get it right away but afterwards it hit me that he probably meant other tgirls. and so I no longer wish to go outside knowing I cant pass and im gonna get chased everyday.

while walking by the park i also overheard to men talking and laughing saying. "thats a boy" as much as it sucks to hear I'm glad I did. its at least nice to know that i dont pass instead of being so unsure all the time. :/

Quote from: Eve of chaos on June 17, 2012, 12:37:44 AM
happened again for the fourth day in a row. I was in line at subway during pridefest and some guy behind me starting trying to make conversation in line. I was friendly but i was trying to give the not interested vibe. he told me to wait for him after i got my food so I knew I'd have to say something.

he sat down with me and made it awkward to eat my meal. kept asking me stupid stuff then he finally said "when am I gonna see you again" so I said "depends on your intentions" then i just told him I',m into girls. he seemed really shocked. kept asking me "for real?" but really with the giant gay pride festival going on I dont think it shouldve been so shocking. im led to believe he did know I was trans and figured that must mean im into dudes. because next he said "well give me your number anyway, we can still kick it. i mean you have friends right?" I didnt get it right away but afterwards it hit me that he probably meant other tgirls. and so I no longer wish to go outside knowing I cant pass and im gonna get chased everyday.

while walking by the park i also overheard to men talking and laughing saying. "thats a boy" as much as it sucks to hear I'm glad I did. its at least nice to know that i dont pass instead of being so unsure all the time. :/

Honey I hope you're not so down about it. Let HRT do what it does. I didn't start passing until about month 7... and passing with ease until about 2 weeks ago (month 9). ->-bleeped-<-s are a let down, I know. Hopefully as time goes on and you are more and more passable, they'll leave you alone.

Quote from: Eve of chaos on June 17, 2012, 12:37:44 AM
happened again for the fourth day in a row. I was in line at subway during pridefest and some guy behind me starting trying to make conversation in line. I was friendly but i was trying to give the not interested vibe. he told me to wait for him after i got my food so I knew I'd have to say something.

he sat down with me and made it awkward to eat my meal. kept asking me stupid stuff then he finally said "when am I gonna see you again" so I said "depends on your intentions" then i just told him I',m into girls. he seemed really shocked. kept asking me "for real?" but really with the giant gay pride festival going on I dont think it shouldve been so shocking. im led to believe he did know I was trans and figured that must mean im into dudes. because next he said "well give me your number anyway, we can still kick it. i mean you have friends right?" I didnt get it right away but afterwards it hit me that he probably meant other tgirls. and so I no longer wish to go outside knowing I cant pass and im gonna get chased everyday.

while walking by the park i also overheard to men talking and laughing saying. "thats a boy" as much as it sucks to hear I'm glad I did. its at least nice to know that i dont pass instead of being so unsure all the time. :/

It hurts to hear things like "thats a boy". But the reality is that 100% passability is rare, so most of us have to live with it, unfortunately. It doesn't, however, change the fact that you may be passable during other times.

Quote from: Jamie D on June 16, 2012, 04:22:25 AM
Nope.  You're pretty awesome.

I'm flattered.

I don't think I get that often enough.

Quote from: Kelly J. P. on June 15, 2012, 11:27:25 AM
To deal with people hitting on me, I have my pro ghost skills. Not making eye-contact, taking up little space, and stuff like that.

However, I still get hit on every now and then. It's not very common, but when I do I have a few things I can do.

First rule... I'm always nice. This isn't very good, but it's one of those things that I can't really help; being rude on purpose is something that I am incapable of. Though, I will note that I am great at being rude by accident.

Second... I have zillions of excuses, and many of them are true. The biggest contribution to these excuses is my phone excuse division. First, I don't have a phone (true). Second, I am afraid of using phones (true, but not the reason I don't have a phone). I'm always very busy (when I'm out, I always have many things lined up to do, but I am not as busy as I say I am), I am always on a time schedule (same thing), and I don't live in town.

Normally, those alone handle the situation. However, there are those stubborn few that would force me to be rude if I didn't have more excuses. If someone asks for my facebook or email, I tend to oblige, however I don't give the person the opportunity to meet me in person again unless they're about the same age as me (up to five years older, or one year younger) and not creepy. This is as simple as saying I'm not interested in going out anywhere; no excuses required. They have to be, potentially, people that are worth spending time with.

If he/she does seem like a decent person, then I may meet them in a public place. If things go exceptionally well, then great; I will disclose my trans status on either date one or date two. Dating is no easy thing for anyone though, when it comes to me. I put anyone through a rigorous trust-building sort of thing, as I have some serious trust issues and paranoia.

If they survive all of that, then they've got to be pretty awesome, and they're likely too good for me.

Ghost-powers activate. *Bewp*

I think that's pretty good advice.

I probably wouldn't know how to deal with being hit on in such an impolite manner myself. I don't know if it's because I'm ugly or because Australians are not as bad as Americans in this regard, but I have been hit on about 3 times in the past 5+ years, nothing more than a pass-by comment each time.

Well, uhm, Eve, sorry to hear that... From people's comments on the thread and yours, I was really hoping that my impression was wrong.

Did you consider trying things like what I told you in the "Do I pass" thread? Feminising aspects of your new look like the piercings, etc? That alone might help a lot. If I just look at your nose piercing, I find it really male. If you could replace your ring with one more feminine, maybe it would give you a big boost.