Granted.

Unbeknown to you though the cheese was old and full of salmanella, the beef was from a cow with foot in mouth disease, which in fact curled the fries. (Silly you. You should have seen the writing on the wall). You then spent the best part of your life in hospital with your feet in your mouth, trying to recover from salmonall poisioning. Remember you are on a diet now. Shouldn't be sneaking out for these quickies now, should we?

I wish I was a magic fairy, and granted everyones wish (especially yours)

Who knew that breaking diets could be so painful?

Granted.  You are able to grant everyone's wish especially mine but with all the magic power it took you had to change a fee of 7 million dollars per wish and no one could afford that so it's like the wishes never happened.



I wish I had a milkshake.

Granted.     The milkbar attendent was just about to put your milkshake in the mixer, when, yes you guessed it, the world was struck by yet another solar flare, knocking out the power grid forever. The only solution left was when a fitness studio learnt of your plight and offered you the use of a solar powered belt massager. This worked to a degree but unfortunately not being able to see what was happening in your stomach, the milk curdled, causing an immediate case of salmonella poisioning, resulting in death. There is a silver lining to this wish, and that is during the autopsy, they discovered some butter in your stomach which was offered to a childrens orphanage. Sorry.

I wish I was a grain of rice

Granted but there were hungry Asians (sorry if is is offensive to any Asians here)

I wish I was a car which couldn't crash, burn, or in any case be damaged even by an apocalyptic chaos and I kept the people and food, vegetation and animals and water alike, safe from harm.

Hehe I made a hard one to corrupt

Granted.  You are a now a drawing of a car that couldn't crash, burn, or in any case be damaged even by an apocalyptic chaos and everything is save from harm.  That drawing was thrown in the trash however.


I wish Black Friday was here already.

Grr I didn't think of that lol

Granted. The sun on Friday was black

(don't know what black Friday is lol)

I wish I knew what black Friday was :3

Granted but now you have to take an extra minute or two out of your life that you can never get back to read what it is 

"Black Friday is the day following Thanksgiving Day in the United States, traditionally the beginning of the Christmas shopping season. On this day, most major retailers open extremely early, often at 4 a.m., or earlier, and offer promotional sales to kick off the shopping season, similar to Boxing Day sales in many Commonwealth Nations. Black Friday is not actually a holiday, but some non-retail employers give their employees the day off, increasing the number of potential shoppers. It has routinely been the busiest shopping day of the year since 2005,[1] although news reports, which at that time were inaccurate,[2] have described it as the busiest shopping day of the year for a much longer period of time.[3]

The day's name originated in Philadelphia, where it originally was used to describe the heavy and disruptive pedestrian and vehicle traffic which would occur on the day after Thanksgiving.[4][5] Use of the term started before 1961 and began to see broader use outside Philadelphia around 1975. Later an alternative explanation began to be offered: that "Black Friday" indicates the point at which retailers begin to turn a profit, or are "in the black".[4][6]

For many years, it was common for retailers to open at 6:00 AM, but in the late 2000s many had crept to 5:00 or even 4:00. This was taken to a new extreme in 2011, when several retailers (including Target, Kohls, Macy's, Best Buy, and Bealls[7]) opened at midnight for the first time."


Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Friday_(shopping)



I wish I had a trampoline.

Ah see here we have Black Beach that (I don't mean to be offensive to African Americans or native Africans or other "black" ethnicities) black people go annually and most shootings and crimes happen
Idk much about it but that's what I hear on the news and from teachers and students (southern mississippi)

Granted but while jumping, you go too far and hit the outer most edge of the trampoline while still on it, and your ankle gets trapped in between the springs and gets fractured by the pressure and angularity of the springs and metal and they have to amputate your foot so you spend the rest of your life in a wheel chair

I wish I had a t-Rex xD

Granted but it is only the fossils of a T-Rex

I wish I had a bacon cheeseburger with monzerella cheese.

How is that corrupting my wish? That's still cool, they can go for lots of money lol 

Granted but the cheese, beef, and pork is infected with trichinosis, bovine spongiform encephalopathy, and listeria monocytogenes and those diseases and bacterial and viral infections infect eachother and your body absorbs these diseases and you.. 

well uh...the fossils were made of plastic then 

Where's your wish again? lol

Grrr I hate my memory lol
I can remember hundred of muscles, specific lymph and blood vessels, specific lobes and cavities of the body and even parts of the brain and the processes and even all the scientific names of all 206 bones in the adult human body and even the variants in the infant but I can't remember to do other things 

Uhm I wish I had a new shoe.. Yes a said shoe, singular *looks at my burnt converse on the floor* .. Yes.. Singular

Granted but it's in the wrong size.

I wish my knee didn't itch.

Granted, it's been amputated   

I wish I was a bird lol

Granted.  The next day a stray cat caught you and then ate you for dinner.

I wish I was a melted worm.

O.o uhm... *thinking* ... Uh a little kid was dared to eat you?

I wish I was a regular worm haha

Granted. Immediately you were seen in the garden by a keen fisherman, who snapped you up and threaded a hook through you and used  you as bait to catch a fish.

I wish I was SuperWoman



@ Malachite. I think it wise for you to eat before you return. Each time you wish for food, it appears you die very shortly afterwards. Just a thought. You might like dying.

Granted. Superman declined your offer to take him out on a date (you asked cuz you're superwoman and Amazonians are in dependant, strong women) but still, you don't have a date lol

I wish I was a hamburger (@ Malachite. I think it wise for you to eat before you return. Each time you wish for food, it appears you die very shortly afterwards. Just a thought. You might like dying.)

Granted.   By the law of averages, you become a Big Mac. Ordered by a 4 yo snotted nosed kid, who takes one look at you, pukes all over you and subsequently, you are immediately thrown in the garbage. Fortunately there is a silver lining to this wish. A garbage truck appears minutes after your demise and you are whisked away to a recycling plant and are converted into garden waste where you are absorbed into a wheat plant. At harvest time your seed is sold to Goodman Fielders to be made into hamburger buns, while a cow eats the husk and stalk, dies later and becomes a meat patty for Maccas. So you are reborn as a hamburger. Regrettably your bun was not matched to the beef patty. You then lived the remainder of your life out the back store room of Maccas receiving counseling. It's a Maccas policy not to sell psychologically damaged products

I wish I was a little flower in the garden

Wow lol

Granted I empty my horse's manure on your head.

I wish i had $1million