(written after I finished) I just wrote a novel below (took about 50 min to write, no big deal). You don't have to read, because I'm literally crazy(maybe) and it might not make perfect sense, but you'll get the idea. I do suggest reading it, though. Writing this literally made my night feel good.
you poor thing. You don't need to be together to kiss these days, or go all the way. My love life is pretty unspectacular. I can easily spice it up, but I'm "not that kind of guy". I used to be desperate, and I've since learned that it's no good to be desperate. So I'm never (almost never) the hunter anymore, I let the ladies chase me.
There doesn't always have to be a connection between the both of you. You might like her, but she's not quite there yet... a lot of girls will give it a chance before rejecting you. Don't fear rejection.
My best relationship so far... we met through my roommate. He was trying to get her (he still was even when she and I were going out, it was pretty funny). They went to dinner, came back, watched a movie in my friends room (we all know eachother, his friends are my friends). They come back into the room, he decides to go to sleep. She and I stay up talking for HOURS. So I kinda stole her away from him (they would have been a terrible couple anyways). I don't feel guilty because she didn't like him, she liked me.
So you don't have to chase girls, you can be friends and see where that takes you (the "signals" put off by "friends" are confusing... are they just being friendly or do they have feelings for me?). Or you can find someone new and try something out. Try to be honest with them. More girls than you know find "hopeless romantics" to be the cutest kind of guy/girl, because we care, we want things to work out, we aren't deceptive.
But I'm genderqueer and I have the nasty male part of me who wants to get laid and stuff, and I have the female side who is completely romantic and just wants to fall in love. Both aspects give me a bonus, because i can relate to girls, and i'm very easy to talk to, but i'm also not assertive in a relationship and I don't take the manly role, which many girls don't like.
When you think of yourself, don't see the person who's 21 and hasn't kissed anyone... you should think of yourself as the person who's going to make someone's day by having them be the first one you kiss, and possibly the last.
I know I probably shouldn't say it, but I used to have no self confidence. I was a stoner, completely against society. Ecstasy was what brought my barriers down. I'm not saying you should do it, YOU SHOULD NOT, it's quite dangerous! I will just tell you what I learned from my experience. I went to a club type thing. I used to find it very difficult to dance with girls, what if I get rejected, what if... the what ifs are no good. Instead, when it took effect, I found myself not caring. So what if they reject me. What reason do they have to reject me? Am I ugly... maybe (I didn't find myself attractive back then), but there are plenty of guys who are "normal" looking with VERY attractive wives. All of my self doubt was out the window. I was confident.
Girls can see confidence by the way. It's like having a sign on your head "I'm confident", or "I doubt myself every day"... When you doubt yourself, other people will also doubt you. You'll learn that you control your life, most people just see you for a few min a day maybe and then never again. Why let them have such an impact on your life?
If you like a girl or guy, take the reins and ask them out. Don't doubt your ability to succeed. Someday you'll find someone who you'll "click" with. Speech will be easy, conversations will be like melted butter flowing down the side of a hot piece of metal. All you have to do is go out there and find them.
So there's a friend. She knows your trans. She MIGHT like you.
Let's go through this. Friend=stuff in common, you get along. Knows your trans=you have nothing to hide. She might like you=?
she might like you... what are you going to do about it? If you do nothing, how will you ever know what might come of it.
If you act, what's the worst that can happen.
I hope I've helped you. I wish you the best.
