While you were reading the newspaper a saw a fly and decided to roll up the newspaper to swat at it but instead you accidently hit the fly in your mouth and you choke to death on the fly.

Death by a bowl of water

In your haste to speedily set this "lack luste"  method of death. You trip on the carpet, fortunately not spilling any water. However you land on the floor, face down in the water. I know what you're thinking.  You think you drowned. ....... WRONG. Wait for the end of the story before you go leaping off on a tangent.

The bowl has a shape edge on it, which cuts your jugular vein and you bleed to death, all over your brand new spanking carpet. AND boy, isn't your partner upset. Just as well you died.

Death by a nose blow   (You've got a cold)

As you were sick with a runny nose and no tissues you grab the nearest thing to you to blow and wind up grabbing your old gym sock from years ago.  As you blow into it the smell is so repulsive that your pass out and fall on the floor cracking your skull and died.

Death by a telephone

It is now the year 2852. Technology has exploded beyond our wildest dreams. While speaking to you on the telephone, from a call box, I witness a shooting of a local Mafia identity (fortunately not one of the Aussie Mafia that frequent this site. Particularly the one from South Australia, not Kelly, she's the hustler for the organisation. Leave her alone, she's an excellent kneecap surgeon) Where was I?  ..... Oh yeah. One of the shot hits the phone line I'm using to call you, the bullet travels at the speed of light to your phone, where upon the bullet emerges from your phone, implanting it in your head, via your ear, killing you outright, immediately.

There was a strange twist to this event, in so far as the coroner was not able to determine the actual cause of death. In your reaction to being hit by the bullet, your handset (yeah, still using old technology I see. Pays to get with the times. Doesn't it?) wraps round your neck, and as you fall, it winds on more cord, finally pulling tight enough to cause suffocation. Until the coroner has adequate evidence to prove cause of death and the release of the death certificate; you remain on the slab.

Death by a tickle

You and a long lost relative decided to reunite at the top of the cliff where he proceeds to tickle you.  You laugh so hard that you fall off a cliff and die.

Death by a tie.

Quote from: Malachite on June 23, 2012, 12:37:46 PM
Death by a tie.

It's your birthday and you are given a tie. However, the abomination is so hideous, the sight of it stops your heart immediately.

Death by Velvet

You put your nose against some velvet that has some hallucenagenic drug in it so you went crazy and punctured your eye on a nail and died.

Death by a taxi cab

A confused Autobot mistakenly smashes a taxi cab into the ground, thinking it's a Deceptecon. You happen to be underneath it now.

Death by camera.

You were so embarrased by the video someone took of you naked with a camera that was posted online that you jumped off a cliff and broke every bone and died.

Death by Saturn

You decide to get a closer look at the replica Saturn V rocket at the local High School's Science Fair, just as they decide to demonstrate the replica engines.  You are toast, literally!

Death by wombat.

You see a cute little wombat and try to pet it.  It bites you and gives you rabies.  You go crazy and run into a lake and drown.

Death by sweat

They don't need rabies, which we don't have here, but let's not spoil a good story, if they go mental they are bloody vicious.

You sweat during your gym session so much that the electrically operated door locks on your hi-tech super safe apartment electrocutes you.

Death by blancemange!

The band's concert was so loud, it busted your eardrums and you inevitably became deaf. On your way home from the concert, a train was coming. You forgot you couldn't hear and *Boom!!!*

Death by manga inking

You are so addicted to manga that it comes to life in and you succumb to the shock.


Death by fairy dust.

You weren't aware that you are allergic to fairy dust. Anyway this obnoxious fairy douses you with so much fairy dust, it invakes your nostrils, causing you to sneeze so hard you literally sneeze yourself inside out, thus exposing major organs to excessive radiation caused by the hole in the ozone layer. This causes immediate and catastrophic failure of vital organs. You are now  ......... dead.

Death by tea

You drank your tea so fast before it cooled off so you burned your throat and suffocated.

Death by love

You had found a girl who would love you to death. Too bad it was a little too literal, hence the past tense. She stalked you and took pictures of you and stole your brushes and combs and put the hair on the life size doll replica of you in her closet. One night, after she had gathered your clothes, hair, and even some dead skin for her mannequin, she found she was missing something: eyes. She sneaked into your bedroom while you were asleep and gathered what she had needed to love the replica of you. The end.

Death by rainbows

Against all warmongs you followed a rainbow to the end and instead of finding treasure you find a trap that makes you fall  face first into a bear trap cracking your neck and making you die.

Death by a lobster

While going for a swim, you accidentally get caught in the middle of the war between lobsters and crabs. It turns out crustaceans have nuclear weapons now. byebye!

Death by tortoise.

Tortoise grabbed those undetonated nukes left by the crustaceans and asked you for advice on defusing them. You went to show them how easy it is ,....but you were wrong.


Death by embarassment.