Quote from: Catherine Sarah on June 19, 2012, 05:12:30 AM
Oh dear god, Aunt Cindy.

I was unaware we had this magnanimous service drawn form eons of your knowledge and experience.

Well you see, I had this annoying little problem that has vexed me for years. I've been to an absolute plethora of GP's, Psychiatrists, Gynaecologists, Neurologists, boiler makers and the like. The one who I thought came the closest to solving my little problem, was my car mechanic, bless his little soul.

I have come to you in desperation to find a cure for it. Can you help? before I eat myself to death with chewing gum??

Yours desperately

Catherine

Dear Catherine Sarah,

It is so nice to see you back,

(Sue, I've filled the last bucket and I have another wanker on line)

Now where was I,  my precious?

Oh yes you are the tart with clutch problems.

You need a good mechanic who knows how to grease the nipples and manipulate the clutch so it is easy on the gear stick. Once you get the clutch correct the gear stick will slip around quite  freely. You have to be aware that a new clutch has to be broken in by some heavy riding followed by some delicate corner work.

In your case I suspect you are more the B trailer type, so very heavy work and extreme pressure on the clutch components may be needed.

I have to admit your avatar is very striking; what exactly did you strike your face against,? And can you do it several more times?

I'm so glad you are back, you have cured my constipation.

With Love and knowing your Guardian  Angel is Close.

Aunty Cindy

Quote from: Justin 21 on June 19, 2012, 06:11:46 AM
thank you so much
oh by the way i was threatened with a branding iron and a cat of nine tales when i joined up a couple months ago i'm still waiting will someone be along soon?  it's getting kinda boring waiting

Dear Justin,

So much thanks for your reply. If I ever get another negative response from a slave, your dog will be chasing fingers.

I'm having problems finding good help. Most seem to keep passing out. Bloody wimps.

Yours in the delight of flowers

Aunty Cindy

Dear Aunt Cindy,

I found that cat of nine tails that Jamie has been looking for, but then the LSD effect went away and I lost it. I have tried to look in the same place and through the same eyes but it seems that I can't even get the same eyes. Have you any advice on where or how to find that runaway cat? I don't want Jamie to be bored forever as his body parts may wear out from the constant use while waiting.

Lost KAT

Dear Aunt Cindy,

I can't think of a question!  What should I ask?

Oh wait..  that was a question, wasn't it.  Never mind!

BlueSloth

Quote from: LordKAT on June 19, 2012, 07:28:08 AM
Dear Aunt Cindy,

I found that cat of nine tails that Jamie has been looking for, but then the LSD effect went away and I lost it. I have tried to look in the same place and through the same eyes but it seems that I can't even get the same eyes. Have you any advice on where or how to find that runaway cat? I don't want Jamie to be bored forever as his body parts may wear out from the constant use while waiting.

Lost KAT

My Dear Lord Kat,

So interesting to talk to you again. I'm sure I must of before,  because all the parasites communicate with me.

As to your on going delusions, I have told you to stop smoking the kitty litter, particularly after you have urinated in it.

Oh and by the way the long brown one's are not cigars.

Hugs Kitty

Aunty Cindy

Quote from: BlueSloth on June 19, 2012, 07:16:27 PM
Dear Aunt Cindy,

I can't think of a question!  What should I ask?

Oh wait..  that was a question, wasn't it.  Never mind!

BlueSloth

Dear BlueSloth,

Welcome and I can understand and appreciate your problem.  I can also wipe my bum which is as intellectually challenging as your thought process.

You must live in a very small cage, which we are all thankful for because it is essential that you are kept isolated.

You do seem to be a waste of insecticide.

Love and best wishes

Aunty Cindy

Quote from: Cindy James on June 20, 2012, 05:14:51 AM
You must live in a very small cage

I don't yet, but thank you, it's good advice!  I'll try to find somebody experienced in keeping exotic pets who can provide accommodations like that.  I suppose somebody with one of those nine tailed cats would know how to handle their pets.  Let me know if the elusive creature ever turns up. 

Hi Aunty Candy, I mean Cindy. I have a friend, we'll call her Cindy, I mean Candy. My friend Cindy, I mean Candy has a branding iron fetish and goes around telling everyone she's the only sane one. Is there any hope for my friend Cindy, I  mean Candy, Candy? I mean Cindy. Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on June 25, 2012, 08:52:44 PM
Hi Aunty Candy, I mean Cindy. I have a friend, we'll call her Cindy, I mean Candy. My friend Cindy, I mean Candy has a branding iron fetish and goes around telling everyone she's the only sane one. Is there any hope for my friend Cindy, I  mean Candy, Candy? I mean Cindy. Hugs, Devlyn

Dear Deviancy,

I think your friend what's her name is suffering from sort delusional fetish disorder. It sounds like acquired unclassifiable sexual sadism injury enhanced, known as AUSSIE. This is  very dangerous syndrome but is curable. The patient need to spend time on tropical beaches being massaged by good looking guys wearing those tiny bathing suits, I think they are called budgie smuggler by some. Sure getting warm in here Mmmm. To assist in this you send large amounts of money to what's her name so she can afford such therapy.

Without therapy her exploits may be enhanced, she is quite capable of organising an AUSSIE hit squad

She sounds a very charming woman.

Have I met her?

Yours thinking of kittens and puppies.

Aunty Cindy

I had considered the AUSSIE diagnosis, but this girl is showing signs of being Wild Australian Chick Kink Obsessed or WACKO. She may also have gone Nearly Undetectable Transgender Status, or NUTS. As for knowing her, I have sent her picture to the wall mounted viewer in your bathroom, or loo, dunny, privy, whatever you have. Hugs, Devlyn

Wow she is gorgeous!!

Are you sure I haven't met her?

Aunty Cindy (WACKO with a trace of NUTS)

Yes, she is a looker! Hugs, Devlyn

Aunty Cindy,


Please tell me the secrets to being a winner in life.  I could really use them.  Thank you in advance!





- Mr. Nowhere

Quote from: Malachite on June 27, 2012, 06:33:18 AM
Aunty Cindy,


Please tell me the secrets to being a winner in life.  I could really use them.  Thank you in advance!





- Mr. Nowhere

Dear Mr Nowhere,

It is obvious that the winners in life are low brained, ignorant self serving tossers who usually have a law degree and study politics, although it is unclear to Aunty Cindy what there is to study in politics.  Lawyers are of course important, if we ever run out of toilet paper then lawyers come into there own, and we can have one in each toilet. They can then do the job they are trained for.

So to advance in life you need to study 101 Dummies in animal cruelty, followed by an intermediate degree in ripping of money to the poor and disabled; remember high marks are given to those who can do both at once.

If you study hard you should have your first fortune by your mid twenties. If not marry into a a wealthy family, be careful here as being TG can be a big advantage, blackmail is a very good way of ensuring a profitable outcome from divorce settlings. Do not marry into any family with the second name beginning with of K. Blackmail seems to be a terminal problem and not conducive to a long life in those relationships.

Make sure you have a good and strong Will and Testament, in which  your off spring and relatives realise that they get nothing when you die. No matter how. This is very important, some people call this a life insurance policy.


Hugs,

And remember,

Blessed are the poor. They have to be because you ripped the rest out of them.

Falling to sleep to the chant of Nuns singing my praises.

Aunty Cindy

Dear aunty Cindy can i volunteer for the Aussie hit squad. I'm sick of shootin' feral pigs in the bush and would love to do some city hunting 

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on June 27, 2012, 06:22:51 AM
Yes, she is a looker! Hugs, Devlyn

I think you misspelled that Devlyn.  I thought it was hooker, not looker.

Aunty Cindy,

You continue to make me laugh with your special brand of humor. I love your thoughtful replies and was wondering what I have to do to get spanked while being told how good I am when I'm bad? A nice smooth massage between slaps with some tittilation works wonders!

Quote from: Justin 21 on July 02, 2012, 06:12:37 AM
Dear aunty Cindy can i volunteer for the Aussie hit squad. I'm sick of shootin' feral pigs in the bush and would love to do some city hunting 

Dear Justin,
Since you shoot feral pigs, your mission is to find a certain Ms. OBrien, ferret lover; she lives close to a city and she has been marked for termination for dastardly insulting her gorgeousness.

She can be branded with the Big C as a lesson to all other Vet Nurses who dare to cross me.

Sweet dreams

Aunty Cindy

Quote from: Dawn Heart on July 02, 2012, 03:57:33 PM
Aunty Cindy,

You continue to make me laugh with your special brand of humor. I love your thoughtful replies and was wondering what I have to do to get spanked while being told how good I am when I'm bad? A nice smooth massage between slaps with some tittilation works wonders!

Dearest Dawn Heart,

How delightful to meet yet another complete pervert.  I seem to attract them like wasps to golden honey. A rather apt analogy I believe.

You also appear to be delusional. Why do you have any perception that there is anything good about you? The only good I can think of for you is to use you to break in a new cat o'nine tails. Made from real pussies of course.

Yours in Joyous Merriment

Aunty Cindy

Quote from: Dawn Heart on July 02, 2012, 03:57:33 PM
Aunty Cindy,

You continue to make me laugh with your special brand of humor. I love your thoughtful replies and was wondering what I have to do to get spanked while being told how good I am when I'm bad? A nice smooth massage between slaps with some tittilation works wonders!

Be careful what you ask for ...