So. When they hired me at Arby's they hired me as *legal name* and I wasn't living full time as male yet. A month or so later I started going full time and changed my name tag to Matt (which went up in flames later, said I had to wear my legal name and after I refused to wear my legal name they talked to the head guy and said they'd settle on Mitch, I guess cuz its close to my legal name). I came out to a few people I'm closer to, and some found out through myspace, then I was outted infront of two managers and the rest of the crew when they said I had to wear the legal name tag (that only lasted a day before I refused to wear one at all).

I hate being there..I'm afraid to use the restrooms incase one of them would say something about me using the men's room. I can't in good conscience use the women's room..I'm not a woman, haven't used a women's room in months and look far too male to use the women's, plus I wear a male name tag now. I don't know which one they think I use, and I'm not sure what half the people who work there think I am..male or female. The other day I was in the men's and a guy (crew leader) came in and just said 'hey buddy'. He's cool with my transition. But I'm afraid of being ratted out sometime by someone who's a little less accepting. Could they fire me? I don't know.

I don't wanna quit my job at Arby's..don't wanna go through all that again, but I think the next job I apply for I'll mention at the interview that I'm trans, although it might be obvious. I really need to get a second job and I was just wondering what tactics I might use so I don't get ruled out for the job. My mom would tell them I'm a girl >.< and to ignore all of this, I don't see a therapist, so they have nothing but my word. I can't imagine going out in girl form..I haven't for months..The only thing I'm worried about is being told I can't wear a male name tag. Why they gave me bull about it at Arby's I don't know.

Anyhow..what I wanted to know was at what point in the hiring process at your job did you say you were transsexual/transgendered? Did you have your current job before you transitioned? Did you quit one job and go stealth at another?

Thanks,
Matt

Many places make employees stick with their legal name because it is less likely to cause issues down the road. IE, I worked at one place where a few immature jerks would put rather suggestive (but not always in English) words for their names on the name tags. Guess how long it took for a new policy to go into place? Another place made up tags (as in etched into the plastic) based on your HR records. So when you changed your name legally, they would send another tag. I had to get an exception to have my last name dropped off of mine (way before transition, just uncomfortable having too much info out about me).

Now that I work in a "professional" atmosphere in my "chosen career path", they still go by the legal name although I was able to get around that at first because one of my supporters was responsible for submitting the info. If the main HR people had caught it, it never would have gone through. I actually came out to my current employer just before going FT, which was one month after an outstanding performance review.

I'd hold back from telling a prospective employer about your trans status. At that stage it is just easier to hire someone else.  It is discriminatory but there is no way to prove it. Employers would rather not have the hassle of dealing with trans issues.

When I transitioned, I did seek another job. I showed up "as me" and never divulged anything. They did find out eventually, but I never let on... I never let them beat me. From that time forward, I never let any of my personal life invade my work life. I didn't make personal phone calls and I did not chit chat. I know that keeping my personal life home was very beneficial in my career.

Cindi

I wonder if I'm being too..weak..or demanding..

These name tags are just stickers on a plastic pin with our names, not etched plastic. So freely able to be made.

I can't bring myself to go to work as a girl. I can't take being seen as a girl even for the 5 or so hours I'm there..I've come too far to go back to that, it would kill me. Grow balls matt..grow balls..

They accept me mostly at work now, but another job would be hell to go through again. Maybe I'll wait until my name is changed to get another job..:/

Yeah, you might be better off staying in your current job and, after name change, changing jobs.

Is there anyone in management you could talk to and say 'look, I'm going through this process and I'd appreciate if it was dealt with professionally at my workplace'?

I did that - just talked to my boss and he was awesome about it. I'm no longer at that workplace, but I'll forever be grateful for the way my transition was handled there.

Dennis

Quote from: Dennis on May 03, 2007, 09:31:21 AM
Yeah, you might be better off staying in your current job and, after name change, changing jobs.

Is there anyone in management you could talk to and say 'look, I'm going through this process and I'd appreciate if it was dealt with professionally at my workplace'?

I did that - just talked to my boss and he was awesome about it. I'm no longer at that workplace, but I'll forever be grateful for the way my transition was handled there.

Dennis

Dennis,
You are a lawyer though in California.  The legal field is a bit different than working for a chain corporation.  For the most part working in the legal world is very different than working in most other fields.  Despite the conservative nature of law, they are ahead of the curve with regards to issues regarding discrimination. 

I am fortunate enough to work in the progressive non-profit field as a research analyst (I do have a law license, but I will probably let it fall inactive).  I literally work a block from HRC headquarters and communicate with them occassionally as part of my job.  I was able to communicate with my workplace my plans over the next year within a month. But that is the thing, my own career path is beneficial.  It took me three years to establish where I am today to be in the right workplace environment to transition.  The thing is I fall under the exception to the rule.  I put off dealing with my gender identity issues to be in the right place with my career.  It was not a win-win situation, and I struggled to get through law school and three years of establishing a resume lead to major breakdowns.  It may have been over planning my life a bit, and I may have lost out on some physical features that would have made transitioning easier (okay just my hair, but still a big deal).  But I am transitioning with a stable career that lets me work on issues I love.  Having to wear a wig is a small price to pay for being happy in every important aspect of my life, including a supportive work environment where I get to do what I love.  However many people who are Transgender do not think of these things, I did, I thought I needed too.  I was well aware of the issues I would face and I planned out even this aspect of it.  It was the one thing I knew I can mitigate if I was smart.

Like I said, the whole workplace knows I'm transitioning. If they don't (a few day term people and new hires) just think I'm bio male, probably. If I apply for another job (I plan on staying at Arby's until I move away) I'll probably mention it at the interview. Arby's has done a good job with handling this..at least they didn't refuse to let me wear a male name tag, and I'm being called Mitch by pretty much everybody now so it's cool.