So an incident occurred today where an older man who worked at k-mart approached me very disrespectfully.
[optional to read, but this is the full story
I was in the store with my mother & siblings and took my 2 brothers to go look at the bikes. My youngest brother is 2 and he didn't have a shirt on. So I'm just standing around supervising while they look at all the stuff like kids do and I hear someone saying "little boy" (as in trying to get someone's attention). I assume he's talking to someone else and ignore it. Then I keep hearing him say "little boy" and I turn around to see what's going on and turns out he's talking to me. He goes "Little boy, that one (pointing to my 2 yr old brother) needs a shirt on. Where's the mom at?"

Immediately I snap on him. I'm not going to write all I said because it had some colorful vocabulary, but I fed to him that there's a way to approach people and to not assume things. ]

Stuff like that has happened on numerous occasions. This time in particular it pissed me off because he was the most disrespectful of all of the similar situations I have experienced and I was even wearing my work scrubs. I mean, what "little boy" works at a hospital? Did he think I was just playing dress up? Sorry, I'm ranting a bit, but some people seriously make me want to explode.

I mean I'm young, but it's such a frustrating feeling when people disrespect me just because I look 12, or whatever they think. It's like a lot of people lately just think "Oh, he's a kid, so I don't have to be nice or respectful at all." (As you can see respect is a big thing to me).
Also, the fact that I'm almost 8 months on T always gets pushed to the front of my head when stuff like this happens. I get even more frustrated because it's just like . . . I'm still not passing for much older than I was pre-t even though I've had all of these changes and it's just an awful feeling.

With my ranting done, I just wanted to see if anyone else is having, or has had similar issues and how have you dealt with it?

Sorry to hear you had a bad experience man. I can relate though - it looks like we're around the same mark in terms of being on T, and I am the same age as you. I still look quite young, particularly in photos, but once people talk to me they tend to mistake me for a 19/20 year old (strangely.)

A lot of the time, people will judge your age on the way you look if they don't wait for you to speak civilly first. This guy obviously did not give you that opportunity, which, I agree, is very disrespectful, as is the manner in which he spoke to you overall.

I guess I can also relate to the feeling of being on T for a long few months and worrying that the progress you see is not giving you as much credit passing-wise with people you come across. Hang in there bud. I think a lot of guys would have reacted the same way. You did the right thing by putting someone who was being unnecessarily rude in their place.

I guess I don't see it as a lack of respect being called "little boy." Maybe it's about where you are and tone that makes the difference? To me, it wouldn't be something worth flipping out about.

Quote from: Nygeel on June 29, 2012, 11:20:04 PM
I guess I don't see it as a lack of respect being called "little boy." Maybe it's about where you are and tone that makes the difference? To me, it wouldn't be something worth flipping out about.

Yes, his tone was quite rude. And I guess it's like . . how would you feel if someone called you a little boy? Being an adult and all. *I don't mean to come off as hostile by the way.*

Quote from: Morgan. on June 29, 2012, 11:17:34 PM
Sorry to hear you had a bad experience man. I can relate though - it looks like we're around the same mark in terms of being on T, and I am the same age as you. I still look quite young, particularly in photos, but once people talk to me they tend to mistake me for a 19/20 year old (strangely.)

A lot of the time, people will judge your age on the way you look if they don't wait for you to speak civilly first. This guy obviously did not give you that opportunity, which, I agree, is very disrespectful, as is the manner in which he spoke to you overall.

I guess I can also relate to the feeling of being on T for a long few months and worrying that the progress you see is not giving you as much credit passing-wise with people you come across. Hang in there bud. I think a lot of guys would have reacted the same way. You did the right thing by putting someone who was being unnecessarily rude in their place.

Thank you man

eh... Overreaction... but I guess this festers from other issues. I mean Nygeel is right, I don't see what is disrespectful about being called little boy. I mean you're not an adult; you're a teenager. I'm called young man, child, and little boy all the time and I'm 22, and pass as a 22 year old. People our seniors will always see us as children. I am not meaning to be rude here at all, man, I'm just saying that you didn't really help your case of being an adult by going off on him....

Quote from: conformer on June 29, 2012, 11:23:17 PM
Yes, his tone was quite rude. And I guess it's like . . how would you feel if someone called you a little boy? Being an adult and all. *I don't mean to come off as hostile by the way.*

I'd actually be pretty content. I rarely get seen as male and I'm not very small so getting called a little boy would be fine in my book.

Quote from: Nygeel on June 29, 2012, 11:38:30 PM
I'd actually be pretty content. I rarely get seen as male and I'm not very small so getting called a little boy would be fine in my book.

Oop I guess it wouldn't apply to you at all then haha xD

Rude people are gonna be rude. But blowing up at someone with a bunch of "colorful" words is going to peg you as a snotty teenager or just a jerk ... especially if all the guy did was show some attitude but otherwise not swear at you. So I agree with Hayzer12 - you didn't really help your case there and you aren't an adult, no matter if you have a job or what. Also, everyone has an off day ... maybe you both were having one. 

Quote from: insideontheoutside on June 30, 2012, 12:14:56 AM
Also, everyone has an off day ... maybe you both were having one.

Real talk. Well said.

Quote from: insideontheoutside on June 30, 2012, 12:14:56 AM
Also, everyone has an off day ... maybe you both were having one.

That's true, I was rather moody today probably because I got my shot late.

But to everyone telling me I'm not an adult, in my culture at 16 you are considered one. Not that it matters though, not too sure why I mentioned it earlier, bottom line was respect. Cultural differences do exist, just putting it out there.

I tried a few times when I was younger,
when I was 15 people thought I was 12, it was really annoying.
I haven't really got any special bad comments just annoying comments who kinda refern to me to how young I looked, and well if I had been 25 I wouldnt mind looking like a 18 year old, I dont mind being mistaked for being 16-17 either most of the times, But to be mistaken for being a kid, just hitting puberty when your grown up is a mess.

luckely it turned better now when I got older and look my age..

I get why you'd be annoyed.  I don't see anything wrong with being called "young man" or something respectful like that, but "little boy" is what you'd say to a five year old in a sweet shop.  Flying off the handle at him probably wasn't the best of things to do, but I would be pretty annoyed as well if someone referred to me as "little boy".

I hear what you're saying. I can see myself flipping out in the same situation if I wasn't having the best of days.

People think I'm still 15, 16, 17 and I'm 23. It gets me really fired up when I'm older than the person disrespecting me.

I'm starting to be read around my age or sometimes even older than I actually am, so it's weird but I've stopped having this problem for the most part. >_< I hope things get better for you though, Jacob.

As much as I want to be read as male, I don't like being read as a child either. I took my grandmother to Lowe's a couple months ago, and an employee started following me and trying to catch up to me, thinking I was going to steal something by the way I was dressed. (I always wear all black.) Anyway, she caught up to my grandmother, who is very, uh, I don't know the word for it, she doesn't understand what's going on around her. And the employee asks my grandmother "Where is that young boy you're with going?" Of course my grandmother blurts out, "That's NOT a boy! That's my granddaughter!" And for the rest of the time there, she made sure to tell every customer and employee that we passed that I am her granddaughter to be sure that the WHOLE store understood that I have a vagina and not a penis! (Which is a whole other world of aggravation!) But anyway, point being, once I turned around and went back to my grandmother and the employee who thought the goth freak was there to steal everything, the employee looked kind of dumbfounded when she saw I had my car keys in my hand. And I had to explain that I was 20 years older than what she thought I was. Because she thought I was a kid there to steal stuff.

i get read as 14-16 year old range not much younger then i am, i am young too by the way. however if i was shorter i have no doubt that people would think i was 12, im 5'10" which helps a lot with passing. it really sucks that you get called a little boy its really annoying when people believe youre the age you say you are.

Quote from: conformer on June 29, 2012, 11:23:17 PM
Yes, his tone was quite rude. And I guess it's like . . how would you feel if someone called you a little boy? Being an adult and all. *I don't mean to come off as hostile by the way.*

I'd kill to be called "little boy" because that means I would pass. 

I can understand where you're coming from, though.  However, maybe he was saying "little boy" in a rude tone because he hadn't caught your attention previously and he was irritated that the two year old didn't have a shirt on?  Or maybe he didn't mean for it to come off as rude but did anyway?  That happens to lots of people.

Quote from: xander on June 30, 2012, 06:49:30 AM
I hear what you're saying. I can see myself flipping out in the same situation if I wasn't having the best of days.

People think I'm still 15, 16, 17 and I'm 23. It gets me really fired up when I'm older than the person disrespecting me.

This! I'm 22 as well and still look like a high schooler. I'm not on T though. In the right mood, I would probably have reacted the same way you did, conformer. Things like "young man" are okay, but "little boy"? Ehhh...I feel for you! It's definitely a respect thing. Hope it doesn't happen again!!

I'm sorry you were dissed, otoh, you might yet get the last laugh. If you look young, you might still look younger at an old age.

--Jay Jay

How did the guy respond? Just curious.

I've been in similar situations... 2 come to mind. First when a cop stopped me and was being an ass, second when a school counsellor was being a jerk when I was trying to register for courses. By "being a jerk" I mean they were talking in a way that was really condescending and disrespectful, until they learned my actual age and their entire attitude changed in a heartbeat.

It's pretty disturbing actually, to see how people mistreat kids who don't have the authority to defend themselves.