Hello Everyone,

This is my first post on the website, however i have been a regular visitor on the forums.

I just felt like i really wanted to share my situation to see if anyone can offer any support/advice or even relate to where I am currently at.

I am a 31 year old male and have been an on & off again crossdresser since I was young child. I grew up as a typical boy, but did have three sisters and was the only boy. I would say my childhood was fairly normal, although I was a very shy kid, especially in school and I was subject to a bit of physical abuse from my Father. I never really got into playing with feminine toys, but did often fantasise about being a girl, especially in my teen years.

Over the last 2-3 years my crossdrssing has really begun to intensify. I find myself plucking my eyebrows, shaving my legs & arms, sanding, yes sanding!! hard skin from my hands and feet and using moisturising lotion. I have also begun growing my hair out and often find myself in front of the mirror trying to style it in a feminine manner. My crossdressing urges seem to come and go, I can be really into it for a few weeks and then the urge seems to disappear for another few weeks. Although, with this being said, when I am not really feeling the urge to crossdress I still find myself keeping up with my feminine body routine ie shaving, moisturising etc and even when I am in my male clothes and look in the mirror, I still see this lovely lady looking back at me.

Over the years I have acquired many female items of clothing, but like many have gone on massive quilt trips and disposed of them, which at times has really upset me, as I had some really nice items!! I promised myself I wouldn't let this happen again, and my current collection is still intact and I no longer feel guilty for having it, which has been a bit of a milestone for me.

I have been out fully dressed a couple of times, which I really enjoyed, however these outings were very late at night and I tried to keep a low profile. the last time I did it I just felt so happy like I was in another world, it was like being on a bit of a high and in many ways it just felt so right.

My homelife isn't the best at the moment, I am married with two young kids and am constantly under stress trying to make ends meet, and having to put up with a lot of crying/screaming and not too mention sleepless nights from my children (2 & 5 years).

I work as an electrician and have done so since my late teens, but lately have just seem to have lost all motovation and drive for the job. I have often though about changing careers, but can never seem to find anything that would pay the same or not cost me a fortune in training. So, I just carry on doing what I have always done.

I guess at the moment, I just feel a bit lost and don't really know where to go too from here. Is this just an act? or does my problem run a lot deeper then I think? I would appreciate any feedback.

Many Thanks in advance,
Paula.

I've been on lots of other sites, so, while I don't have actually experience with this kind of situation, I can say that it seems to match the posts of people who call themselves 'genderfluid', where the gender they identify as changes regularly... but I could be way off here if you just like to crossdress. I think that's normal too though, my interests in clothing cycle regularly, as well as how I act and maintain myself. I don't think it really matters though. Change is a part of life, if you like doing something, then you should do it until you don't like it anymore. It doesn't make you fake.

Quote from: Paula_23 on June 29, 2012, 11:18:42 PM
My homelife isn't the best at the moment, I am married with two young kids and am constantly under stress trying to make ends meet, and having to put up with a lot of crying/screaming and not too mention sleepless nights from my children (2 & 5 years).

I'm not a crossdresser myself, but I'll give you what tips I can.

1. Good move not to feel guilty anymore. You are who you are, you like what you like. You were built that way and you are beautiful.

2. Screaming/Crying from children isn't good. I'd suggest reading some parenting books or taking some parenting classes. I only read a couple of books but they made all the difference in the world when my kids were that age. 21st century parenting is not something that comes naturally to everyone.

3. It helps if you and your wife can work as a team. Be honest with her about your crossdressing and any other unhappiness you have.

That's what I got. Hope it helps.

Thanks for the advice guys, it helped a alot

I've decided to see my doctor in a few days time, after having a really bad week!!
Hopefully he can shed some light on things, although I'm thinking he will probably refer me to a mental health clinic for
further diagnosis, which will be good.

Thanks again,

Paula.