Granted.    It's a boring story book though so not many people read it.

I wish my laptop was running correctly.

Granted. It runs so well, it decides to leave you behind & head to the Olympics and win a gold for the State of Tech. Doesn't even leave a note for you.

I wish chocolate was calorie-free.

Granted but it tastes so bitter you don't want any.

I wish I had more arm hair.

Granted.

However due to atmostpheric changes brought on by Global Warming and the GFC (not including the Greece bailout); the more you exposed yourself to the sunlight, the longer the hair became.  It grew sooooooo long that it took over your entire body, making you look like "Cousin It" in the Addams Family.

I wish a fairy had just granted me three wishes.

Omg how is that a corrupted wish?     That would be freaking awesome!

Granted.  However you were sleep when she arrived and you only dreamed that you asked for 3 wishes.  She waited for you but got tired of waiting and left.

I wish I had blue eyes.

Granted. Your eyes are now blue but no one can see them because the entire planet has just gone blind. That sucks.

I wish my shoes never wore down.

Granted but you misplace them and never find them again.

I wish I had sunglasses.

Granted. They're garish, oversized and covered in spikes.

I wish I could fly.

Granted but gravity is 100000 times heavier now so you can't fly far.

I wish I had the video game "Sims: Castaway" again.

Granted. Your disc is fatally scratched.

I wish I could win a random giveaway.

Granted but after taxes you wind up oweing money so it's not practical.

I wish I had a giant stack of gummie bears.

Granted.

Unfortunately the sugars gummy bears are made out of creates it's own internal combustion, which causes them to melt into one hell of a gooey mess not fit for eating. The stench is pretty acrid too.


I wish my stocking didn't ladder

Granted.  Now you don't have legs so no need to worry about that.

I wish I had some juice.

Granted. It's de-odorized moose juice 

I wish I always had someone nearby to cuddle with.

Quote from: Your Humble Savant on July 17, 2012, 03:29:18 PM
I wish I always had someone nearby to cuddle with.

Granted: It's Lord Voldemort

I wish I had a folding bike.

Granted-it's missing wheels though and it's rusted

I wish I was happy.

Granted, but everyone else in unhappy and they constantly complain to you about all their problems, so you can't enjoy your happiness.

I wish I could afford that really cool pair of antique sunglasses I want.

Granted but there are only one pair in existance and someone else has already gotten them.

I wish I was wide awake.

Quote from: Malachite on July 25, 2012, 02:41:03 AM
I wish I was wide awake.

Poof. You are now awake, and twelve feet wide.


I wish I could pen a best seller.

Granted but you only can in your dreams.

I wish I had wings.