Now that I've started to come to terms with who I am, I have decided that I want to transition. I had my first meeting last week with my local transgender support group. When they mentioned that nothing is final until you go under anesthesia for the surgery, it made me feel a lot more comfortable to know that at least for the most of the transition that I can always go back if I decide that it's not for me.

I'm already making good progress in some early stages. I've started by changing to using some shower gels and lotions to try softening my skin. I've also started wearing panties full time as well as dressing up in private whenever I get the chance. I'm working past the stage of not worrying about what others think of me and just doing this because it is what I want.

My biggest worry right now is how I'm ever going to afford this. I currently have enough bills and student loans which leaves me with only a handful of money after everything is paid. I'm currently trying to find a way to fit seeing a therapist into my budget. I know that also in the near future I am going to have to find a way to afford hormones as well as build an entire new wardrobe. I don't know when I need to worry about surgery. I feel that can wait until it is decided that that is what is truly best for me.

I guess my next biggest worry is about getting disowned. Right now, I plan to only tell a select few people that I know to be open minded.  I'm gonna wait to tell my family and my friends until the day when I make a major noticeable change.  I've become self dependent enough that I could deal with losing my family, I just know that it is going to hurt.

So, I think the next step is for me to see a therapist. I'm hoping that within the next week I can set something up that works with my financial situation. I'm hoping to get a few contact numbers from the next meeting of the support group. I figure that people who have already gotten past the stage I'm currently going through will be a good resource for making this transition happen.

Check with your local GLBT organization.  They may have low-cost therapy and HRT. 

It is hard to do it on a very limited budget, but it can be done.  I know.  I was unemployed for 3 years and now I am working part time and going to school.

Congratulations on your realization.
First, I know that breast development and sterility are irreversible changes of hormone regimens, so there are some things you can't go back on. Make sure you are certain before you decide to transition because you don't want to upset anyone for nothing.

Second, I know a low budget can be difficult to work with. Some clinics use informed consent, a process where you can skip therapy if you still agree to transition after being told of all of the information and ramifications involved, but I wouldn't recommend going that route until you are certain that this is what you want. Considering that you are thinking of going back if transition isn't right for you might make therapy a worthy investment. Next, you'd be surprised about what you can find in thrift stores. I found so much great stuff for really low prices. Thrift shopping can make the new wardrobe less of a financial drain. You also may not want to eat out for a while.

Finally, you will have to tell your parents at some point, so make sure you are independent or at least have a place to stay if your parents ever disown you.

Just my two cents. Good luck in your transition. 

Just in case you were intrigued by informed consent.

https://www.susans.org/wiki/Informed_consent

However, please make sure this is what you want. I can't stress that enough.

Congratulations on beginning transition! It can be really hard to jump in but most people find that once they start they begin to feel happier and with each step they feel better. Transition doesn't have to be really expensive, at least not the first steps... Therapy can be expensive but your insurance provider probably covers it so you should check. Insurance usually covers HRT as well but even if they don't it isn't super expensive, under $50 a month I believe. Electrolysis or laser (personally I recommend laser) is definitely expensive though, a few thousand dollars total. My advice is to just take it one step at a time - do what you can with what you have and the rest will fall into place with time.

Thanks for all the advice. I've already started looking at Goodwill for now to put together a few outfits. I'm hoping to start shaving my legs within the next week. Sometime after that, I will need to learn how to do makeup. I know I have a long road ahead of me.

As for dealing with family. I feel I could get by with losing them. I have a college degree, steady employment and have managed the past couple years to live on my own or with a roommate. I still think it's going to hurt if they disown me.

My main focus right now is trying to find a therapist. I've started another topic asking for help on this, so I won't go into detail on this thread about it. Basically, I plan to ask the other members of my support group for some therapist contact information.

There are many stops on the Transition Highway, and no one right way to do it.  Just what works for you, as we are all different.

I have posted a link for a radio interview with a good friend who has taken the path of not changing anything about her body.  She is working to change society instead, and is heavily involved with the main GLBTIQ support group in this state, and in suicide prevention.

www.abc.net.au/rural/content/2010/s3059890.htm

She is also great company and a has been a big help to me over the last few days following rejection by some of the important people in my life.

Karen.

I just got set up with a therapist. Each day I'm feeling more and more confident that I'm going to transition. I really am starting to feel much happier with myself after deciding that I want to become a girl.

You have gotten some good advice already.
I would suggest experiencing life as a women.
Dress and go shopping, to restaurant, to a beauty salon, or where ever.
Here is my first experience as I recorded it.
December 19, 2005
I had the most wonderful day, yesterday.
Was looking in the mirror after shaving and got the craziest idea.
So first I put on a little foundation on my face and neck.
Some blush on my cheeks and than I took a pencil and darken my eyebrows.
My eyelashes are already dark and long so I left them alone.
I put on some lipstick and a set of fake nails; my nails are still too short.
After putting a little padding, a white pullover, a pink sweater, my white ladies jeans, tennis shoes, a pair of small gold earrings, my wife's light weight winter coat and a light blue stocking hat I got into the car and headed for the mall.
When I got to the mall I grabbed my purse, which I had put my wallet and other things, and walked into. At that moment I almost had a panic attack, but I was so determined to wall around the mall a couple of time no matter what anyone might think. I knew how to talk, walk and act like a woman, I grew up with two sisters. After ten minutes of walking without looking at anyone and my head down, I began to peek at people I was passing. No one seemed to notice me. I got a little braver and began looking at people as I pass them, they would glance at me and than look away just like they always do when I'm dressed as a man. Then my nose started to run. I had forgot to put an tissue in my purse so head for the bathrooms. I knew I couldn't go into the men's so hurried into the women's and pass a couple of ladies and got into a stall. Took care of my problem and than I went to a mirror to check my makeup. Two women came in looked at me as the passed by and went into a couple of stalls without giving me a second glance.
I was in heaven.

I realized that I was being accepted as the woman. After that I held my head up, smile at the children waiting for Santa, look everyone in the face and for the next two hours I walked and shopped in the stores. I checked out the ladies dresses at Sears, shoes at Payless, and some bras and makeup at the Target store.
Anyway it was a great day and I will do it again.
I hope this will encourage someone.
Oh my does that bring back memories. 
I must have looked a mess. I knew nothing about makeup.
Wore an old stocking cap to cover my short male haircut.
I am just glad that people didn't freak out when they saw me.
That trip started me on this journey. Before that I wasn't sure who or if this wanting to be a women was real or just a fantasy.
I am so glad for this really life experience.

QuoteAs for dealing with family. I feel I could get by with losing them. I have a
college degree, steady employment and have managed the past couple years to live
on my own or with a roommate. I still think it's going to hurt if they disown
me.

I'm there sis. My family has rejected me and my wife is divorcing me.
It hurts, yes it really does but even in this I feel a joy and a freedom that I have never experienced before.
Please remember take one step at a time and don't rush it.

Oh yes a therapist will help. Don't tell the therapist what you think she or he want to hear tell him or her the truth.
If you don't like that one get another. I have a great therapist who laughs and cries with me.
She has really helped my self esteem and that has given me a healthy sense of self worth. I never felt any self worth before. She has helped me to really like myself, imperfections and all.
Yukiko I wish you the best.
Hugs,
Jillieann Rose