Hey Melissa, hey Tink, nice to hear from you both, hope you are both doing well ? And I promise that I wont be a stranger again Helen !!
It's hard to know what's been going on to be honest Kristi, life has been a bit of a blur lately !!
I have been off work sick for the last few weeks, mainly because I have been feeling really down. I don't feel that there has ever been a point at which I have felt so lonely, bored, depressed and isolated - I didn't even feel this bad before transitioning and going full time !! Part of why I feel this way I think I have talked about in some posts already on Susan's, the rest I am keeping to myself as its personal and involves things I still need to deal with. I spent about a week in bed as couldn't be bothered doing anything, lost a load of weight as I wasn't eating and was on the point of doing something stupid. I don't know what changed, I think it was just the fact my friends have been there for me and my doctor has me on anti depressants again. But as I have already said, I am feeling loads better than I was before and for the last week basically haven't stopped ...
I went out with my best friend last Friday evening to play pool, she brought another friend along and one of her relatives also dropped by. We had a few drinks, didn't stop talking all night and had a great time.
Saturday evening I went out with my best friend's brother again, we found a bar with some comfy sofas, had a few drinks and spent the evening talking with each other.
Then on Sunday evening a friend who I had kinda fallen out with and drifted away from called me up and asked if I wanted to come and see a band she was going to see, so I went out with her and got slightly drunk again.
Monday I was hungover and went shopping with a really good friend from my support group, I had a lovely afternoon with her.
Tuesday I was back over to my best friends where I finally managed to give her the truth as to why I have been so depressed, it's only taken since December to tell her but talking to her was like having a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and I wish I had done it sooner. She took it really well, listened to what I was telling her and is going to do her best to help me out.
Wednesday I went to see Spiderman 3 with the friend from my support group which was another really nice evening.
Today (Thursday) I should have been going to see another friend who has moved back to Liverpool from London. She is due to have her baby in 8 weeks, but she has chicken pox so I haven't been able to go and see her. I was disappointed as she has been feeling down and I was really looking forward to spending some time with her, so instead I ended up doing all the laundry, washing and drying the sofa covers, finished off a load of housework and am just about to go soak my feet in the foot spa and watch tele.
Friday I am over at my best friends again, she will be cutting my hair and giving me a manicure and pedicure.
Saturday I am going to see the friend I had fallen out with as really want to patch things up with her. She was the one that gave me the courage to transition and was there when I really needed someone, I have really missed her being part of my life so hopefully we can work things out. Her birthday is coming up and we talked about a few other things we want to do over the next few weeks on the phone this evening.
Sunday I am doing as little as possible but might see what my best friends brother is up to as am sure he offered to cook me a meal the last time we went out. If he is working then will finish my cross stitch off and might even do some baking if I am in the mood.
Then Monday I am seeing my psychologist so will be starting to sort things out for my surgery as my 2 year real life test is up this October !! Monday evening is my support group meeting and think I have a pub quiz to go to after that with the social group I have joined.
Lol, to think I was feeling bored and lonely ??
Becky
xx
