50s? Mere children, I say.
Welcome, Sylvia. I, too, began my gender questioning in my 50s. In my case, fully resolved with surgery by Dr. Meltzer.
Another big help in getting to square 2 and beyond is participation in a transgender conference like Southern Comfort, Esprit (a full week), First Event, Texas T-Party, etc. A week of being yourself might answer some questions. It did for me. I came home from my first Esprit in 1998 and went full time!
Next week, my husband and I are returning to Esprit to help others and to have fun. (Not going to let any crossdressers outdress me.)
Hope to see you on Chat.
Robyn
70 in June