I am one.

Just for those who are uninformed on the matter, not all sociopaths are evil/harmful/violent etc, it's much more of a spectrum than that. I personally am a high-functioning sociopath, and I fit in with society about as well as could be expected from any sociopath; I mostly just lack empathy and a conscience. By which I do not mean that I don't know the difference between right and wrong, or that I partake in wrongful acts, but that I do what is good because doing what society deems wrong is illogical.

Generally speaking sociopaths are very changeable, and can shift personality or appearance for a bunch of reasons. Many even lie to themselves about who they are. I'm wondering if this is perhaps why it took me so many years to realise that I was trans; I spent all of my youth changing myself to conform to what other's expected me to be, and to fit in with those that I was interested in, that I think somewhere along the way I lost track of the part of myself that was the real deal.

On the other hand, perhaps being this way has liberated me from a lot of the troubles 'normal' trans guys have. I do not think in any way that what I'm doing is wrong (as some trans guys can feel at the start), it doesn't give me a sinking feelings to think of other's reactions, and social and emotional connections are nowhere near as important to me as they are to others. If a family member or friend has a problem with me, I cut them out of my life; it's not even a slightly difficult thing for me to do. And acting as if I have always lived in a male body and deflecting unwanted comments is easy, because I do not feel any of the guilt or unease some trans people do when 'lying' (I do not mean that saying you are male is a lie, but that some guys can feel guilty for not telling the whole truth behind it).

I'm just wondering if this is common in the trans world, or if there are any other guys who have been through this?

I hope you don't mind a girl commenting since this was directed towards the guys. I just wanted to say that I think being a sociopath in this situation will be a benefit. Being able to be yourself without having to worry about social expectations is great. I have studied sociopaths quite a bit, and agree that none of them are actually bad people. For the most part sociopaths are not mean of violent, quite a few of them just don't understand how those types of actions will affect them negatively.

To answer your question, I don't feel bad for not being true to myself for so long, nor do I feel what I am doing is wrong in anyway. I too just put people who are negative towards me out of my life. I have no problem cutting someone out of my life even if I have known them for years.

Thanks for the reply Brooke!

I don't feel bad about it taking me so long, but I certainly think it is why it did; it also explains to me things about myself that up until now have upset me. For example, when I was young and presenting as female, I was very feminine. I wore make-up and high-heels, and really loved and was proud of my large chest. Then I hit early teens and started to hate all of that, and turned into a tomboy. After understanding who I actually was years later, I felt like there was something wrong with me as a trans guy, as I had at one time liked those things. Now I believe I liked them because they helped me fit in, and because everyone else loved those things about me; not because I did.

And sorry, girls who are around please do feel free to comment! I think this applies to all trans people, not just the guys.

After seeing a documentary recently on sociopaths I wondered if I am one myself. I wouldn't particularly describe myself as high functioning one like you have though. I can function as a normal member of society but I really would rather not, I'm much happier keeping to myself. I don't feel empathy and find that I really just don't care about things that don't directly affect me. I can act like I care, I've learned how to. For many years I didn't bother trying to mould myself to fit around other people but got a lot of grief in return so learned to modify my behaviour. I find social interactions very tedious. I do things because I "should" not because I want to. Things like making new friends or going to social gatherings...just...what purpose does it actually serve. I sometimes feel like my emotions aren't my own, I'm just mimicking the people around me. The part about you dressing feminine and liking your chest rang true to me, I was very promiscuous in my previous life, it made guys like me, I could manipulate men into doing whatever I wanted and I massively abused that power. I was much more comfortable without makeup and guys clothes but that didn't get me such a favourable response. Of course eventually I decided that being myself was a lot more important and I made the switch over in a heartbeat. Many many people didn't like it, they were cut out of my life, simple as that.

Well it is said that actually sociopaths, if not psychopathic make excellent salespeople and business people and that sort of thing. I think there are people on the autism spectrum that are sociopaths. I think there are those who think that autism and at least ftm go together (not sure re: mtf, but I don't think so as I think the theory is is that it has to do with T and the developing fetus). So who knows. Never heard this idea before.

--Jay Jay

I don't know about being a sociopath, but I have no problem with being myself and I don't let others opinions bother me. What someone else thinks about me is their deal, not mine. But, I do apologize if I make a mistake. I just always figured I was more thick skinned than 99% people on the planet.

Um. Well.

My half-brother is a sociopath (not a modern psych term of course) but he's also a rapist and a torturer of kittens. He set them on fire, chucked them into the basketball hoop for fun, etc. Be aware that sociopath is a loaded word that conjures up misery and fear for some people.

But having that DX in my family, and also a handful of autistics, has given me pause at times. I have wondered if being trans is at all related. I usually try not to think about it.

As Felix said, that is a loaded word. I don't think you fully understand the terminology if you're openly identifying as such. Heh.

Oh I know it's a loaded word, that's why I stated right at the start that things weren't cut and dry about sociopaths. And I don't actually care what people think of me for being one; kinda comes with the turf.

Thanks for all of the replies, I'm very surprised there have been so many actually!

And I have been professionally diagnosed, but only with one therapist; the reason being that she was the only one I felt like being honest with. If I don't want people to know, then there's no way they could tell without me showing them my hand. My brother is also a narcissist (text book case), so we have discussed all of these things together, as he has many of the same sociopathic tendencies as I do.

I think the term is so loaded they should use another one for people who are not anti-social. Just my opinion.

--Jay Jay

I think it really depends on what you mean by that. I have friends, and I like to go and watch movies with them and such, but I have severe social anxiety and my friends are very few. Does that make me social, or not social?

Also, I have to say I don't understand the label of 'anti-social personality disorder', because it seems to me that sociopaths are not anti-social in nature, but are 'uncaring' and lack empathy. Most sociopaths I know have many friends and an active social life. I dunno, maybe I'm just interpreting the label wrong or something...?

A lot of words are loaded but that doesn't mean that we don't understand the terminology, hell to a lot of people the word "transsexual" is loaded with misconceptions/fear/disgust but that doesn't make them true.

I agree that anti-social personality disorder doesn't really seem to fit in some cases....but then in some it does *shrug* I was diagnosed with Unstable Personality Disorder/Borderline personality disorder when I was forced to see a shrink during my battle with social services but it's a load of crap. I had to make up answers to her questions about how I felt about this that and the other because I felt like telling her I didn't really feel anything wasn't what she wanted to hear. Some of the traits of this disorder describe me but certainly not all of them. I think I got that diagnosis because of the following traits of the disorder:

1: disturbances in and uncertainty about self-image, aims, and internal preferences;

Yeah I'm trans, so no surprise that she thought I had "uncertainty" and "disturbances" in my self image.

2: recurrent threats or acts of self-harm;

I was a self harmer

3: demonstrates impulsive behavior, e.g., speeding, substance abuse

I smoke weed, to a lot of people that's like "omg drug addict" behaviour


Going back to what Jay-Jay said about the autism spectrum, for a long time I wondered if I had a form of Autism because of my inability to make proper social connections, but then I realised that it's not that I don't understand other peoples emotions, it's just that I don't care about them. I've found I'm actually very insightful when it comes to the subtle social cues and undertones people give out.

I used to wonder if other people were faking their emotions, like the world is just one big theatrical production where everyone is BSing each other to conform to social norms. As I got older I realised most people actually aren't, they really do care about all those little things and it's actually very easy to tell the difference if you pay close enough attention.

Quote from: Jeatyn on September 02, 2012, 04:22:45 AM
Going back to what Jay-Jay said about the autism spectrum, for a long time I wondered if I had a form of Autism because of my inability to make proper social connections, but then I realised that it's not that I don't understand other peoples emotions, it's just that I don't care about them. I've found I'm actually very insightful when it comes to the subtle social cues and undertones people give out.

I can relate strongly with this.

According to my lovely therapist the 'high-functioning' part of my diagnosis comes from my reactions and social manipulation. For example, I'll see on the news that a car crash has killed three people, and will think 'so what?', but even as I'm thinking that my mouth is saying 'Oh that's awful!'.

Are you a psychopath or a sociopath?

Psychopaths are born that way, and extremely rare (less than 1 in 1,000 people). They'd completely lack anything resembling empathy and remorse no matter what. Sociopaths are born with the POTENTIAL to become sociopaths, but whether they ACTUALLY become sociopaths depend on nuture. 1% to 5% of people are born with the potential to become sociopaths.

I am not a psychopath. I definitely feel remorse and can have empathy when it comes to certain things.

Quote from: Bane on September 02, 2012, 05:14:54 AM
I can relate strongly with this.

According to my lovely therapist the 'high-functioning' part of my diagnosis comes from my reactions and social manipulation. For example, I'll see on the news that a car crash has killed three people, and will think 'so what?', but even as I'm thinking that my mouth is saying 'Oh that's aweful!'.

I do the same thing. When my mum died a few years ago everyone around me was falling on to the floor in floods of tears at the news and I was like eeerrm....not sure how to react....I just sorta said "oh ok" and carried on playing WoW ....Everyone was like "oh you're in shock it'll hit you eventually" ... it never did. Now when I get obligatory phone calls once a year on the anniversarys of her death from distant relatives wanting to see how I'm coping I have to make stuff up so I don't get crap for being a heartless monster.

None of you are sociopaths.  Sociopaths have personal and selfish goals and will do anything to fulfill them with no regard for anyone else.

I can understand having little feeling for the tragedies of strangers.  That's pretty normal. How can you have deep feelings about people you've never met?  I kind of think it's weird when strangers are bawling when they hear of a tragedy about people they don't know.  I kind of suspect they're faking to show how compassionate they are.

Quote from: sonopoly on September 02, 2012, 07:20:37 AM
None of you are sociopaths.  Sociopaths have personal and selfish goals and will do anything to fulfill them with no regard for anyone else.

That is a terrible and untrue generalisation. If anything sociopaths are more likely to lack commitment and drive.

Where are you getting your information from, and how qualified are you to dismiss a professional diagnosis?

Quote from: Bane on September 02, 2012, 06:29:19 AM
I am not a psychopath. I definitely feel remorse and can have empathy when it comes to certain things.

Wait, are you sure you're one of the two at all, or just a person with really s**t empathy and remorse? Both psychopaths and sociopaths completely lack both of them. I mean, the things in my mind that try to pass for empathy and (to a much lesser degree) remorse are terrible at it, but they're THERE, which prevents me from being a psycho/sociopath (and can be explained away by the autism anyway).

Quote from: Stealthy on September 02, 2012, 01:26:18 PM
Wait, are you sure you're one of the two at all

How about what a professional thinks? Lately its like cool or something to be messed in the head, its like the new bisexual or something, "oh yeah! im a sociopath!" its nothing to be proud of, its just a fact of life.


NOTE: theres nothing wrong with being bi, or a sociopath  - i merely refer to the BARsexuals, and the skanks that think its like "oh my gawd so cool" to pretend to be bi because it gets their boyfriends hard, or whatever, i'm not sure what i'm trying to say here, but its kinda like the Aspergers thing - once people started hearing about it more, suddenly EVERYONE claimed to have it, like "oh you poor thing"