Sorry, this is entirely ranting! I just need to get it off my chest.

I haven't been able to talk to anyone all week because hubby is out of town and he's the only person I've told. Tonight was the worst dysphoria yet; I was just walking down the street, and instead of feeling a sort of vague, head-swimming confusion I was 100% sure that yes, I'm a man. It's like meeting yourself for the first time. And I feel like the rest of my life up to this point, until all this stuff started just a few monthes ago, happened to someone else.

I don't know how to begin coming out. I know the people that matter to me will be supportive, but I don't want to answer a million question because I don't even know what's happening myself. And now I'm sitting up, unable to sleep and unable to get ahold of hubby to talk.

Hang in there Nerdyjamie. Those are some major realizations to make! It is no wonder you can't sleep, when you feel life suddenly making sense in an entirely new way. Congratulations for dealing with it now. It is ok to take your time. It is overwhelming I know. Many of us felt exactly what you describe. This is when the better days begin.
<big hugs>
Madeline

It is exciting and difficult. Feel free to talk here. It can help a lot.

You've got us, if you need us - and you've got you too, be as kind to yourself as you can, you deserve it xx

Just remember that at no point do you have to "come out"; you are not a debutante at a ball. The most important people in your life should maybe know, but in my case, even my family is in the dark (despite my having had srs surgery a month ago!).... my cisfemale wife's family however knows.... some friends do, some don't. My point is, you are under no obligation to do anything faster or more suddenly or formally than you feel like doing. And I would also say, from personal experience, ANDROGYNY IS YOUR FRIEND! I assume if you felt this way for a long time, you prolly appear pretty androgynous already? Just work with that as you and your husband figure out the first steps and extent of your transition.

Hang in there, you have lots of brothers and sisters here to support you.
I spent a long time in bloke-mode just watching how women did things, so I had some idea of what not to do.
I'd say, okay, you have realised you are a guy, the question is what sort of guy? 
What were the qualities that attracted you to your husband?  That might be a good place to start your research. 
As for others, maybe just saying that you are questioning the whole concept of gender and identity will be enough if people ask.  You don't have to commit to anything, just working out your own place in the scheme of things is sufficient.  If your husband is accepting, then you are streets ahead of a lot of us. 
Be gentle with yourself, and try and look at this as an opportunity for growth that most people don't get. 
Rant away too, if that is what you need. That's what blokes do anyway!

Karen.

"Rant away too, if that is what you need. That's what blokes do anyway! "

Hahaaha! Yuppers, just leave the crying to us dames. 

As a MtF I am actually afraid of becoming my mother... thankfully I know I can never be as intolerant that she can be... though she has come around... I do have similar fears as you but... i can make my mother look tame... I know I don't say much but I try to read it all... I even buy lots of Aleeve  I love it here... a lot of brothers and sisters to learn from and to get encouragement from... Love ya keep strong and be you not him

Hey everyone

Thanks for replying, it really means a lot. Having this forum here makes it all a bit easier <3