Thanks . Not just estrogen though: it's finally relaxing that does the enyouthening (I shudder to have typed that - but I've never liked the word rejuvenate).

it backfires on me - I get people who show romantic interest in me, and then back off when they find out my actual age. When I was 30 I looked older than I do now, because I was so uptight and miserable. This is why it makes me very happy seeing people get to be their true selves.

Maybe just don't let on until afterwards?

I don't want the "afterwards" kind of connexion - I want the "ever after" kind (alas, doomed with a romantic nature...) so honesty's the only option.

Yeah, honesty's a bugger innit.

Yeah, but dishonesty's a bigger bugger.

I'm pretty young but I hate the term genderqueer.

Primarily this is because I don't see myself as queer in any sense. I am a pretty straightforward person who happens to define as neither male nor female. I don't want to be part of all that baggage, have bright hair or huge piercings. I don't want to read up on all the latest fashions and trends in political correctness and alphabet soup. The whole term sounds too Shoreditchy, skinny-jeansy, big-pointy-shoesy, lenseless-glassesy, faddy for me to use as my identity.

I do like androgyne, mainly because it was the first word I found, and although the meanings of the root words man-woman, mean that it is not the most accurate description in a totally literal way, when did etymology completely explain the word? I am also comforted by the Greekyness of it, it feels warm and comfortable to me.

As for difference in definition, I have always used androgyne in a few ways. On here it is an umbrella term, I always use it to apply to myself to describe a non-male, non-female person. I use genderqueer to describe an androgyne with a performative/presentational aspect. I often get told of for this though.

I'm 40.  I don't particularly like "genderqueer" because "queer" was definitely derogatory when I was growing up, and the primary association is with sexuality rather than gender and those things get confused enough as it is.  However, I'll still use the term when it's expedient because some people have a clearer idea of what it is.  Say "androgyne" and they think "androgynous" and it always goes to David Bowie and Tilda Swinton and fashion models.

And "queer culture" isn't something I identify with, really.  I'm pretty weird, but in a geeky, minority religion, Green Party, (non-rock) musician, not watching TV sort of way... and from my reading, there does seem to be a specific kind of culture where "queer" is the thing, and I'm not in it.   This forum is the closest I've come to any sort of support group or community for gender identity stuff.

Nonbinary is my preferred term... since there isn't a slightly more specific one for "almost but not quite agendered."

wow, that's a bit to ponder.

I never really stopped to think how the word "queer" may affect some people. My generation uses it quite frequently and seems liberated by it.

Thanks for all the responses

I am in one of those older generations. I do not feel the same about queer as, the first term that made sense to me was genderqueer. I am not into genderf*** or anything. I also know of the word's sort of checkered past.

--Jay Jay

Quote from: xander on September 11, 2012, 02:03:47 AM
wow, that's a bit to ponder.

I never really stopped to think how the word "queer" may affect some people. My generation uses it quite frequently and seems liberated by it.

Thanks for all the responses

Quote from: Sarah7 on September 08, 2012, 08:53:31 PM
It makes me sad that the word "queer" is so problematic for the older folks. For me the word conjures only good things. It's the word I'm used to seeing attached to the most progressive and inclusive organizations. It's a word designed to bring everyone together, to respect our differences, but still unify into a kind of community. Queer pretty much always means it's going to be a good space, a good community, a good person. I'm not going to have to hear anything biphobic, I'm not going to have to hear anything transphobic, I'm not going to be uncomfortable because of binary assumptions around gender and sex.

Queer means safe for me. Strange that, how the same word can be so, so different for us.

Sarah,

Thanks for your clarification re contemporary usage of queer! I hadn't previously heard anyone express its inclusive meaning in the way you have. I'd mostly perceived its political aspects, which I am in solidarity with, although I don't identify as genderqueer.

When I first joined Susan's, I identified w/ androgyne, but ultimately moved beyond that label as well. At this point in my life, I am simply Zythyra, joyously living life openly as who I am, somewhere on the non-binary continuum.

Quote from: Padma on September 09, 2012, 02:26:12 AM
And the more I hear queer being used in the modern sense, the more it dilutes my bad memories of it. My reaction is just habit - I hope it wears away someday (I'll be 50 in a couple of months, seems like a good time to change!)

Padma, 50? OK, tell us where is this fountain of youth? I need to drink a few bottles of that water 

Z

Quote from: Zythyra on September 11, 2012, 08:09:53 PM
Padma, 50? OK, tell us where is this fountain of youth? I need to drink a few bottles of that water 

Z

What can I say? The camera always lies . Anyway, I'm not 50 for another 54 days .