First Time Out

[Ciara]

Hi @xmichelle,
Thank you so much for your very kind words ❤️. It is amazing what hair and a little make-up can do ☺️.
It is lovely to meet you Michelle.

I hope you have the opportunity to go out while your wife is away. The thing that encouraged me most was that nobody took any notice. I did not go too close to people but stayed about 20 metres away. Enough for people to see only a woman in a dress, out for the day. When you think about it, we all pass many people every day and we never give them a second glance.....so why would anybody look twice at you or me!
Remember that you are a beautiful woman.

Ciara.

[Anne_lifetrip]

Hello girls and welcome.

As @Ciara, I too tried this...

I did not go too close to people but stayed about 20 metres away. Enough for people to see only a woman

But I wanted to try and do "normnal" things such as gas the car (I can pay from the app) or pick up a takeaway, but destiny had other plans for me.
App was not working in the gas station nor in the take away, so I had to pay in the counter. Initially I was bewildered and very nervous. While going into the office to pay, a man bumped into me, applogised and continued his way. Then I came face to face with the lady in the counter, who looked at me, and simply said...number 4 right?...yes, card or cash...card please...paid and left, and you know what?..

The thing that encouraged me most was that nobody took any notice.

So I was really encouraged and when the car takeaway was closes I parked the car, ordered and picked up the food just like any other woman would.

It was wonderful and encouraged me to continue and enjoy being me.
Find your moments and enjoy them. Gain confidence, gain strength and ... you go girl! 🥰

Remember that you are a beautiful woman.

[ChrissyRyan]

It is nice just to be out as yourself and have no issues.


Chrissy

[Christina152]

But I wanted to try and do "normnal" things such as gas the car (I can pay from the app) or pick up a takeaway, but destiny had other plans for me.
App was not working in the gas station nor in the take away, so I had to pay in the counter. Initially I was bewildered and very nervous. While going into the office to pay, a man bumped into me, applogised and continued his way. Then I came face to face with the lady in the counter, who looked at me, and simply said...number 4 right?...yes, card or cash...card please...paid and left, and you know what?..

I had an almost identical experience a few weeks ago. I went for a drive in my denim jacket, jeggings and breast forms and plucked up the courage to stop and quickly buy some petrol (as we call it in the UK). I went into the shop to pay and to my alarm there was a long queue at the cash desk; the card reader wasn't working.

The cashier asked if anyone actually had any cash. I was the only one so I went past everyone and up to the desk to pay. The cashier said "Thank you, Luv" and that was that.

The experience emboldened me to go shopping similarly dressed several times since, when I've had the opportunity. It's always so good to feel that I'm perhaps seen as just another old woman doing her shopping.

[Lori Dee ✅]

The experience emboldened me to go shopping similarly dressed several times since, when I've had the opportunity. It's always so good to feel that I'm perhaps seen as just another old woman doing her shopping.

The grocery store is a great place to get out like this. People are busy shopping, so they are not really paying attention to you. There may be a few who look at you as you pass by, but most are too busy to notice. Because I am tall, I often get asked to help retrieve something from an upper shelf, and I volunteer to help those who are sitting in the electric carts. I always get a "Thank you, Miss" because they weren't studying me; they were just happy to have the help.

Just smile often. Women smile at each other. Men nod their heads. You don't even need to speak, smile.

When I feel like I need some affirmation, I go shopping!

[Ciara]

@Anne_lifetrip
Hi Anne,
That sounds absolutely amazing. I would love to have your courage.
You go girl!! ❤️.

Ciara

[Ciara]

@Christina152

Hi Christina,
That sounds so cool. Good for you girl ❤️.

Ciara.

[Anne_lifetrip]

@Ciara, thank you very much. 😍

That sounds absolutely amazing. I would love to have your courage.

I am not sure it is courage...but once done, it can't be undone and it feels great.
Find the day you feel comfortable, get on the mood and go up to where you feel comfortable...I am discovering that my limits increase each time I do that...bit by bit, step by step and enjoy every single moment...but at my own speed.

[linda_45071]

I have thoroughly enjoyed reading everyone's past posts on this topic and yours today Anne. You have provided lots of motivation and encouragement. Going out in public as Linda is something I have wanted to do and have dreamed about doing for the longest time. The closest I have gotten so far is wearing panties and a bra underneath my guy clothes. That was great fun but not totally fulfilling. I think I would need a spa day at the local trans beauty salon so I would look my absolute best. A friend went there and the transformation was amazing. I would need to do some shopping too. That sounds fun already.

[Jillian-TG]

My wife and I go on cruises fairly often and I always pack in my wig, makeup and some ladies clothes. I mix things up from wearing ladies shorts and blouse (which really looks like a shirt) for an androgynous look through to a full transition with makeup and wig.

After doing it several times I have noted two things:
- a lot of people don't seem to notice at all. I'm amazed at how oblivious people are.
- those who do notice don't seem to care. They will look, do a double take to confirm that they actually saw what they think they just saw, and then continue with what they were doing.

Very few people have a negative reaction and that's really on them.

[Kristy7]

Ciara,
I don't go out often did weekly years ago before I met a girl I see now which she has no idea about my other side.

What you found out no one cares yes sooner or later a disgusting human being may say something you simply ignor and don't let them ruin it for you.

As many say, each time you go out it becomes easier and easier.

Good luck and enjoy

[Northern Star Girl ✅]

@Kristy7
Dear Kristy:
It is difficult for me to understand but somehow I do not see that you were
Officially Greeted and Welcomed to Susan's Place and the Forum when you registered
a couple months ago as a member on 02NOV2025.

I am so very glad that you felt led to register as a member.
I am always so happy see new members arrive here on the Susan's Place Forum.

I much enjoyed reading all of your first postings here on the Forum.... you shared
things that many of our members have experienced, so please know that you are
among accepting and supportive members here that understand what you are feeling.

I am wishing you a WARM WELCOME... and as you feel the
freedom to share and post more of your thoughts here, you will undoubtedly find
like-minded members that may become your Forum friends.

This website is huge, with a lot of information from Real People who have lived
through these things for decades.
There is much wisdom here. Feel free to browse, learn, and share your experiences too.
We all learn from each other.

We have many sub-forums and TOPICS here on the Forum and you can feel free to comment and share your experiences.
Each sub-forum has a description of what that sub-forum board is about, as well as any guidelines for posting.

Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL-AGES PUBLIC Forum and the internet never forgets.
Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.

You will find the Forum to be a Safe, Friendly and Accepting place that you can share
whatever is on you mind... it is your SAFE REFUGE.... without any judgement from our members.

If you have any immediate questions regarding the Forum please feel free to contact me at
my Direct Email: alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

My Warmest Regards,
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator

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@Susan

[Kristy7]

Hi Danielle,
Thank you for the warm welcome you gave me and the welcome you have given to others.

I'm not on here often. Love to hear the experiences of others and what others have to say about their experiences.

Danielle,
I spent several days reading every one of your personal posts. I like it when someone makes major decisions in their lives and how it affected them.

You're a very nice person and also a beautiful Girl.

Good Luck in your life and look forward in reading about it.

Thank you,

Kristy

[Dawn Kellie]

Wow that's a great day. I hope you get more times like that. I also hope your wife eventually sees the beauty in you

[Jillian-TG]

You go girl!

BTW, as a very mature closeted CD in a DADT marriage, you might find it interesting that I tried a "chat" page, looking for 65+ year old wives who had discovered that their husband was a CD.  I got 2 responses, one from someone whose neighbor had been such a wife and (after a bit of "communication") it worked out ok.  The Second response was from a widow who, after 8 years of marriage came home unexpectedly one day to DISCOVER!!!  Again, a bit of communication (and I think tremendous moxi by the wife) it also worked out ok - to the extent that the two of them would "go out".  And I think around 20 years satisfactorily passed before the husband's death. 

Finally, I too had my "nails" (finger & toe) done when the wife was away.  What a liberating experience.

  Carolina

I think when wives find out after many years their reaction can range from absolute shock and rejection (divorce) through to surprise and acceptance.  I'm not even sure if you can easily predict the outcome.

For those in a DADT relationship it's also hard to project the future. Sometimes it gets better and sometimes the wife becomes more uncomfortable.

It's a complicated topic for anyone who is married.