Ok this is kind of a raw subject but a little about my service and why I joined.??..??
It was something I had to prove to myself. I did what I had to do and find a way do to what I had to do for myself too. I somewhat succeeded but it was not easy. I gave it up after a while and stopped re enlisting. For me that was my ultimate test and pretty much the final one. LGBTs serve and with great honor. Those that choose the career should be honored with whatever they need or want. I personally could not retire because I couldn't suppress it anymore. But why do we choose to serve? Mine was reason was two fold. OMG it really sucked at times but then again I had to find a way for myself to have an outlet also. It pushed me to the my boundaries and once I got out I never looked back. Only after that experience did I really know for sure.
Being trans is not easy. It never will be aside from being able to have a ZZ Top beard and wearing a sundress down the sidewalk with no sideways looks. For me as miserable as it was at times suppressing my true self, it made concrete more of who I truly am than anything else and for that I am truly grateful for the military and that I served. To me it was just another test to see. Yes I know I am different but everyone that chooses to serve is different. I chose as much for the freedoms of those that do not serve as I did to test myself just to make totally sure. It opened my eyes.
I ask nothing from the government and I served with honor and dignity. I did everything that was asked of me and then some but don't want the government intruding in my life either. Politicians cater to the "flavor of the day" and I really don't want them knowing who and what I am. That is why I don't use the VA or Obamacare.
Surprisingly and I won't say too much more but it is very easy to change documents from M to F and vice versa. My real name is extremely confusing. As for police, they are trained how to treat Trans now. I am on the insides of that little aspect of information.
Personally I would probably never sign up to serve again even if younger but then again I might. To me it was a test of my own self and own identity. As much as it sucked, it also pushed me farther and instilled a confidence that I may have never experienced otherwise. Then while serving I had to find a release of true identity and succeeded and overcame. It was only six years for me and I expect nothing. Anyone that spent 20 years and suppressed what I was feeling then yeah, I have no problem paying taxes for someone's self expression through the VA. I could only handle it for six years and 20 years would have killed me.
So please no one get me wrong in this post. I tested and pushed myself and it instilled something within me to not care and that I had to express myself. Those that did and retired deserve the total benefits. I spent time is some really bad situations but I choose not to use the benefits because there are so many more worthy. I may have died but who cares? To me the suppression of self identity was way worst than the fear of dying. I don't deserve anything other than the freedom of self identity but those that spent so many years then ya'll deserve the benefits. Not me.
I hope this clears up my ideals of military service and being trans.
