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Why do some trans-people have a more positive attitude than others?

Started by Anatta, January 08, 2012, 03:04:49 PM

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Anatta

Kia Ora,

PLEASE NOTE ! THIS THREAD IS 'NOT' DIRECTED AT THOSE MEMBERS WHO SUFFER FROM MANIC DEPRESSION ! We all know how this kind of depressed state[if left untreated] can impact on a person's outlook on life !

::) Espo started a thread in the Androgyne section "Positive People" some of the comments left there got me thinking.....

::) Why do you 'think' it is some people[trans or cis] tend to be more open to life than others ?[That is nothing seems to get them down?-well for long anyway...]

::) And why is it some might think a person can't be in a somewhat continuous positive moods ?

::) Do you think people who always come across as upbeat positive are 'faking' it ?[And in private they wallow in self pity] ?

::) Or have they genuinely found the key to true 'contentment' ?

::) "I 'think' therefore I am! = Happy or depressed ?

Metta Zenda :)

* I guess as an after note: Two trans-people find themselves in a similar boat-similar circumstances, yet one will see the positive in the situation[sees the light at the end of the tunnel], the other only the negative[a deadend] !*
"The most essential method which includes all other methods is beholding the mind. The mind is the root from which all things grow. If you can understand the mind, everything else is included !"   :icon_yes:
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Sweet Blue Girl

The post is not for me anyway.

When you get the strength to come out and even transition anything else is not a big mistery.

Sometimes people fake it, of course, but faking also means you want to have a good attitude and overcome the difficoulties of temporary bad moments bringing with you the faith that there's a way out.

As for me, i am chemically depressed, and emotionally too, because the steps of coming out, transitioning and functioning well in society are still a bit out of my possibilities, but, i keep faith. Sometimes nothing satisfies me anymore, but in that tim i try to undertand what I miss, and why.
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Annah

It's one of those case by case basis.

I would label myself as very positive but I, in no way, will ever belittle someone who is depressed about their surroundings. I say this because some can get irritated by someone who is positive and vice versa.

I have gotten personal messages thanking me for my attitude and optimism so I am glad there has been those who felt I have helped.

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Anatta

Kia Ora,

::) In my work I deal a lot with people who have major issues, some are very depressed-their world it would seem is collapsing around them...So it's important for me to remain upbeat and point out the positive things they have going for them...And believe me there's always a positive if one cares to look for it...When a client leaves our office smiling we know we have done our job, and we tend to see lots of smiles...

::) In my past life I've had a few instances where my dysphoric state had gotten the better of me, so I know what it's like to be depressed and suicidal[I've had my stomach pumped twice for drug overdoses]...However if I knew then what I know now about life, things would have been a lot different...

::) I guess when you have hit rock bottom[like I and many trans-people have/had] the only way is up and I carefully worked my way up the ladder of contentment, establishing a secure footing on each rung...This in my case was done by taking to heart the saying of very wise people and putting what they had said into practice, [that is not just understanding what they meant but 'knowing' it first hand] and things began to change for the better...

::) However my path to true contentment is my path and each must find their own...


@ Kia Ora Sweet Blue Girl,

::) I can only wish you a safe and happy journey..Are you having both medication and therapy for your depression ?

@ Kia Ora Annah,

::) It's true some people do find positive people irritating, and can get quite annoyed by their upbeat nature, I guess that's to be expected ...But on the other hand it's important for an upbeat person to remain upbeat, by doing/being so they can in some instances become the carrot on the stick for the depressed [not clinically so] person...A way forward...

::) In a nutshell:One of the major keys to contentment, is not to take life too seriously and things will begin to take shape/run their natural course unobstructed....

Metta Zenda :)
"The most essential method which includes all other methods is beholding the mind. The mind is the root from which all things grow. If you can understand the mind, everything else is included !"   :icon_yes:
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Felix

You could ask why anyone has a more positive attitude than others. Then you could get into positive psychology, which is the silliest field ever. I'm sure you're not averse to silliness, though. :)
everybody's house is haunted
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supremecatoverlord

Meow.



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Anatta

Quote from: Felix on January 08, 2012, 10:56:04 PM
You could ask why anyone has a more positive attitude than others. Then you could get into positive psychology, which is the silliest field ever. I'm sure you're not averse to silliness, though. :)

Kia Ora Felix,

::) Pop psychology does work for some people however it can be liken to antidepressants which seem to work for 'some' but not for others...

::) Just curious Felix, why do you think PP's silly ?

::) I must point out you have every right to think something is silly/stupid or for that matter ridiculous...I'm just curious...


::) BTW I should also point out my work has nothing to do with pop psychology, but it is counselling of a sort...

::) Do you think I take life too seriously ???  ;) ;D

Metta Zenda :)
"The most essential method which includes all other methods is beholding the mind. The mind is the root from which all things grow. If you can understand the mind, everything else is included !"   :icon_yes:
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Anatta

Quote from: JasonRX on January 08, 2012, 11:00:09 PM
Because everyone is different, m'dear.
:P

Kia Ora Jason,

::) But why are they different m'dear ?  ;)  ;D

Metta Zenda :)
"The most essential method which includes all other methods is beholding the mind. The mind is the root from which all things grow. If you can understand the mind, everything else is included !"   :icon_yes:
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Felix

Quote from: Zenda on January 08, 2012, 11:20:27 PM
Kia Ora Felix,

::) Pop psychology does work for some people however it can be liken to antidepressants which seem to work for 'some' but not for others...

::) Just curious Felix, why do you think PP's silly ?

::) I must point out you have every right to think something is silly/stupid or for that matter ridiculous...I'm just curious...


::) BTW I should also point out my work has nothing to do with pop psychology, but it is counselling of a sort...

::) Do you think I take life too seriously ???  ;) ;D

Metta Zenda :)

Positive psychology is just kinda hard to take seriously. I'm not going to call it woo or anything, it's just even squishier than most other disciplines, which is saying a lot for a subject that tends to be only begrudgingly accepted as science by "harder" sciences.

I've met and liked some respected people who worked in it, and I don't want you to think my words hold any malice. It's still silly. :angel:
everybody's house is haunted
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Anatta

Quote from: Felix on January 08, 2012, 11:32:59 PM
Positive psychology is just kinda hard to take seriously. I'm not going to call it woo or anything, it's just even squishier than most other disciplines, which is saying a lot for a subject that tends to be only begrudgingly accepted as science by "harder" sciences.

I've met and liked some respected people who worked in it, and I don't want you to think my words hold any malice. It's still silly. :angel:

Kia Ora Felix,

::) No I don't think your words hold any malice, I know of other people who say the same thing about psychology and psychiatry...

::) I guess it's like religion, for some people it works wonders, for others it's a load of mumbo jumbo crap...And can at times do more harm than good...

::) However the ironic thing is most psychologists I've met [no not on a professional level ;D ] they have had major 'personal' issues to deal with in their lives...However like the mechanic who never gets around to fixing their own car, they have the skills/know how to fix other people's problems ...

::) Anyway it's all in the mind Felix, and one as only to look within for answers...

Metta Zenda :)
"The most essential method which includes all other methods is beholding the mind. The mind is the root from which all things grow. If you can understand the mind, everything else is included !"   :icon_yes:
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Felix

Quote from: Zenda on January 08, 2012, 11:49:06 PM
Kia Ora Felix,

::) No I don't think your words hold any malice, I know of other people who say the same thing about psychology and psychiatry...

::) I guess it's like religion, for some people it works wonders, for others it's a load of mumbo jumbo crap...And can at times do more harm than good...

::) However the ironic thing is most psychologists I've met [no not on a professional level ;D ] they have had major 'personal' issues to deal with in their lives...However like the mechanic who never gets around to fixing their own car, they have the skills/know how to fix other people's problems ...

::) Anyway it's all in the mind Felix, and one as only to look within for answers...

Metta Zenda :)

As far as that goes, most medical or scientific professionals I've met with anything above a bachelor's in any field had pretty noticeable personal issues. :laugh:
everybody's house is haunted
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NikaPlaidypus

I'm a generally upbeat and positive person.  I went through a bout of depression some years ago related to guilt, denial, and repression of being transgender, but I've grown into it.  I am transgender, I own it, I enjoy it.

Introspection and self-analysis are two of the tools in my Happiness Toolbox.  Analyzing why I feel negative emotions helps me to come to terms with them, to understand and integrate them.  I try not to toss the problem aside, that just leads to bigger problems later.  I try to be rational even though I am fairly emotionally driven.

I could go into a recent f'rinstance, but that would take far too long for anyone to read.  I question the answers, too.  Sure, this can go into an infinite regression, but once I go deep enough, I own that emotion, the reasons behind the emotion, the reasons behind the reasons, etc. ad nauseum.  I have boxes and boxes of shorthand reasons for everyday problems that make the process a lot faster.  I try not to delude myself and succeed most times.

Another tool: doing things that make me feel good.  Like, duh?  :P  When I can help someone help themselves through a problem, I feel good.  When I can make others laugh, I feel good.  When I make something others enjoy, I feel good.  When I reach a goal I set for myself, I feel good.  When I learn and grok something new, I feel good.  Do good, be good, feel good.

Yet another:  I try to find beauty in all things.  There is beauty in a child crying.  Pure, honest emotions are beautiful.  If I open myself up and look hard enough, I can usually find something beautiful about nearly anything.

One more for now:  I sing (off key), whistle (very well), and hum quite a bit.  It's hard to be in bad mood when you're singing an upbeat tune.  Christmas carols are my worst vice. :P 

I try to look at the positive side of any situation.  My girlfriend just broke up with me after admitting that she was seeing someone else when we had agreed to a monogamous relationship.  This caused a lot less pain and problems than it would have if we were married or living together.  We had some great times together.  I learned about myself and others.  I'll have more great times later with someone else.  I will be able to save more money now.  I feel free to flirt voraciously again and I love to flirt.  And more.

There are many more tools in the box, but these stand out the most in my mind.

When I start feeling unhappy about something, I do one or more of the things above and they usually keep me upbeat and positive.
Do you know the cow?  He is an insolent bastard!
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justmeinoz

I think it really is  a case by case thing.  For some of us it seems to that finding that the cause of our problems is GID, makes things  far easier to cope with.

Karen.
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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Keaira

For me, It's because I'm a crackpot. I really like to may...oh look! potato Chips!...

Err, anyway, as I was saying *MUNCH* I hate to see people in pain. One of my Sister's keeps insisting I am very empathic. And I can tell if something is wrong with her or quite a few others instinctively. And so, I've become THE person to talk about your issues with. And I always tell people NOT to put themselves down when there are plenty of people out there who would try to do that for them!
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Keaira

And when I start to feel down, I remind myself that I am accomplishing my goal of finally becoming me.
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cisdad

I'm puzzled by the subject line's question.  Why wouldn't some trans-people be more upbeat than others?  Certainly some cis-people are more upbeat than others. 

People are people.  We have that in common.  But what that means is that we're also all different -- more fond of math/more fond of literature, more oriented towards men/women, more identified male/female, ....  Given all the other things we people differ about, why would we not vary in how upbeat we are?

Thinking about some sibling sets I know of:
One is paranoid schizophrenic, one is a kind and gentle positive person
One suicidally depressive, one depressive, one about the sunniest, most optimistic person you'll encounter
One depressive, one alcoholic, one positive person
One prostituted woman who prostitutes her daughters, one positive person
One slacker layabout, one highly motivated and successful positive person

Or, in a different vein, my sisters and I -- I'm math/science/engineering (the nerdly arts), one sister is liberal arts, the other is fine arts. 

Optimism and happiness are becoming areas of research in themselves.  Lincoln's observation that people are about as happy as they've a mind to is dead on.  It seems that we have a happiness set point, and even major things -- winning the lottery, terrible car accidents, and so on -- only temporarily affect how happy we are.  One of the few things that does affect how happy we are in the long term is to dwell on, preferably to talk about, happy memories.
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Anatta

Kia Ora [and thanks for the responses]

::) However please understand what I write are my personal opinions/views[one could say 'experiences', and should NOT be taken as gospel] if for some reason you happen to disagree with them, it's OK to do so... But when doing so please REMEMBER THE RED STATEMENT in my first post...

Anyhow... Back to topic....

::) A thing to bear in mind[pun not intended] The brain produces more than 50 identified active drugs. Serotonin which is produced by the brain [and in other parts of the body] is a chemical that helps maintain a "happy feeling," and seems to help keep our moods under control by helping with sleep, calming anxiety, and relieving depression.

::) However it's not rocket science to know that ones 'thoughts' shape ones world...And all ones woes, likes and dislikes stem from how one has been conditioned[and for the most part continually conditioning themselves on autopilot] to mentally react, which could be in an 'adversely or favourable' way...

::) By reacting in an adverse way could possibly restrict/block the 'feel-good' chemical flow in the brain and to react in a 'pleasant/favourable' way could release it ...Who[in their right mind] wouldn't want to have the latter working/being produced 24/7...Producing a 'blissful' state of mind...or at the very least a more contented frame of mind...

::) So I guess to answer my own thread question,  it would seem the more 'positive optimistic person' is able to produce [and for the most part 'at will'] a more favourable reaction in their brain[serotonin on tap so to speak]...No doubt there's a lot more to it than this simple in a nutshell explanation...[I'm no neurosurgeon] ;) ;D

::) But all the same, it might give some food for thought to some people, perhaps even a chance to experiment a little –for example the next time you come across a situation where your 'normal' reaction would be an adverse one, try saying to your 'self' "I don't really mind this, it's not that bad, in fact I kinda like it !" and see how your sense of well being is affected...But I would suggest starting with a mildly adverse situation first and then build upon it...I guess this is where the ole "fake it until you make it" comes into play...

::) No doubt 'some' will be thinking "What a load of mumbo jumbo new age crap!"  And by all means feel free to do so, I can't make you, [nor do I want] you to think any differently ="Whatever rocks your boat!"

::) I also realise I can't stop those who are clinically depressed from reading this post, I can only hope that they are on an upbeat phase of their cycle, which will allow them to not read to much into it !

::) " Being 'Happy' for some people is 'always' going to occur at some future event !" and never seems to happen right 'NOW' ! Food for thought....

Happy Mindfulness [for this is where it all happens]

Metta Zenda :)


"The most essential method which includes all other methods is beholding the mind. The mind is the root from which all things grow. If you can understand the mind, everything else is included !"   :icon_yes:
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NikaPlaidypus

@Zenda What a load of new age crap!  I like it~ 

Having (or forcing, if necessary) a positive outlook most definitely reinforces itself.  I'm a serotonin junkie~
Do you know the cow?  He is an insolent bastard!
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Keaira

I think too that a lot of us see ourselves as hopelessly unpassable and that weighs heavily on our minds.  I try to keep a pretty positive attitude, even on a day when nothing goes right. But even I've gotten a bit depressed when I've seen some of the girls on here and how pretty they are. But I keep telling myself that it's only been X months and I'll shine with my own light. I just have to work hard and be patient. Nothing worth having ever comes easy. ^_^
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kelly_aus

I like to think that my mostly positive attitude comes, in part, from having learnt to love myself..
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