Should I finish college first?

[4A-GZE]

On one hand, I feel lucky that I was able to notice this problem in my junior year of high school, so almost none of my life will have been wasted in the wrong body. But on the other hand... Would it be best to wait the next five years before starting? I realize that, whether it's school or work, there will be a single group of people around to witness my entire transition, and it will definitely be awkward for them. I just wonder which of those groups would be the best to do it around... Is it safe to start as early as possible, or is it better to just wait until I'm out of school for good?

[spacecase0]

here is my point of view,
I regret not doing it in college,
college can't fire you for doing it.
I really thought about it then and did not do it,
don't waste that many years waiting, the earlier the better.

[4A-GZE]

That's all I needed to hear. You're right. I'll get started as soon as I am able.

[stldrmgrl]

Ya, I agree.  If it helps...

I am nearing six months into my transition, and while I am taking things slowly appearance-wise (despite my high dose of HRT), I have every intention of continuing my transition through college, and I am still in the process of enrolling.

As said, it would be a lot of time to wait, and the repercussions from waiting may be more and far worse than you think.  Then again, if you don't suffer from high levels of dysphoria and feel you could wait it out with no problem, then that's certainly up to you.  Personally speaking, I wouldn't wait.

[4A-GZE]

My dysphoria is too low to feel confident about, so if and when I transition, you can bet I'll question the decision at times. But I still know that it's what I need.
I don't know if there even is a minimum age requirement for the pills, but I'll wait until I'm 18 anyway. Not even a year, but still long enough to work out my uncertainties.

[Tristan]

college is one of the best times to do it. i did/ am. in college anything goes and for me it is going great.

[Tyler]

I wouldn't wait.

[NikaPlaidypus]

The sooner the better, from the standpoint of physical results.  Most bodies stop growing and start aging around 25. 

Public universities usually have LGBTQI programs and other support structures and a zero tolerance policy for discrimination.  It's not perfectly safe, nowhere is. 

[sysm29]

Do not wait.  Do it now.

[4A-GZE]

Wow, you guys are really helpful here.

sysm29, I would love to literally do that, but I haven't even come out yet... And that would mean transitioning while still in the high school that SUSPENDED me for saying LGBT people are equal... At the earliest, I'll start this December. Maybe I'll set it up to start on my 18th birthday.

[supremecatoverlord]

If you are able to transition in your state at the age you are at currently, do it now.
In my opinion, it's awkward beginning your transition in college if you don't want to be viewed as a trans by complete strangers the moment you start attending there.

[4A-GZE]

It's worse to start transitioning in this high school. I bet you anything they would force me to wear a tux and not a dress in my senior yearbook picture and/or to prom even though I'd likely be full-time by then. This school district is so anti-LGBT, I can't believe I've made it all the way to 11th grade without demanding to be transferred...

But, about when is the usual time during HRT that it's impossible to hide anymore? I could try to start at a specific time so that that comes shortly after graduation.

[pidgeontoed]

I'd like to echo what has been said here. I'm in my last semester right now and it's getting harder and harder to finish since I've pushed this back for so long. Don't wait if you know this is what you need to do. Since I attend probably the most liberal college in Ohio (Kent State), I feel that the university atmosphere is the best situation possible to come out and go through transition. We have a very, very active Pride group on campus and a supportive campus newspaper that frequently runs stories to educate the rest of the students (even an LGBT studies minor!) Now, this is probably on the extreme end, but I know for a fact that other universities exist like this. So, go for it, girl!

As for stealth on HRT, I'd imagine it depends from person to person. Hormones are a very tricky thing and not everyone reacts in the same way based on very minor differences in biology. I'm not even to that point yet so I don't know for sure.

[Keroppi]

Of course there's exceptions, but universities (colleges) are generally speaking a much more accepting place to transition. They are generally more liberal, have LGBT support group of some sort, and rules & policies in place against discrimination. Also, you'll rather want your graduation certificate in your new name (if you change it) than having to explain to potential employers that check why it's in *that* name.

Then there's the emotional side of thing. If and once you know you want to transition, the longer you wait, the harder it's on you having to live with this secret. And as previously stated, the earlier you start the better physically speaking.

I wish I knew before/during university and transitioned then.

[eli77]

But, about when is the usual time during HRT that it's impossible to hide anymore? I could try to start at a specific time so that that comes shortly after graduation.

It really, really depends. For most girls it seems to get very hard to keep passing as a guy in the 9month to 1 year range. Though there are trans women (especially older folks) who've kept it going for much longer.

For me I got kicked out of the closet by my hormones after 5 months. Officially I went full time at 6 months, but I had been getting gendered female consistently for a month by then in boy presentation which is AWKWARD. That's a bit unusual, but not so unusual that it's not a risk. It kind of made a mess of my original transition plan, though I'm happier with the way it turned out in the end.

There is also what Keroppi mentioned - the "I don't want to keep passing as a guy" effect. Which can get pretty intense.

Also, you'll rather want your graduation certificate in your new name (if you change it) than having to explain to potential employers that check why it's in *that* name.

It's actually pretty easy to get the name changed on your degree at most universities for anyone who is worried about that. Usually just need your name change certificate and a piece of updated photo ID.

[Keroppi]

It's actually pretty easy to get the name changed on your degree at most universities for anyone who is worried about that. Usually just need your name change certificate and a piece of updated photo ID.

From what I remember reading, that hasn't been the case *shrug*. In the UK, universities will only change the name on a replacement certificate if a Gender Recognition Certificate has been granted. I can't find much information for US or Canadian practice.

[eli77]

From what I remember reading, that hasn't been the case *shrug*. In the UK, universities will only change the name on a replacement certificate if a Gender Recognition Certificate has been granted. I can't find much information for US or Canadian practice.

Okay... in Canada it's very easy to change your name with a university. I've done it twice. I suppose other places are more backwards... seems weird though, I mean you get the name on your degree changed if you change your name when you marry, right?

[Keroppi]

I mean you get the name on your degree changed if you change your name when you marry, right?

Nope. They count a degree certificate as historical record, which means the details on a certificate is based on the student record from when they were at university. Only if an error were made by them in the original certificate would they issue a new or replacement certificate with different details. The only exception to this rule is from when they introudce GRC in 2004 making it an offence to reveal a person previous gender status etc. so the university would issue a replacement certificate with the new name and update any internal records for someone with a GRC.

[mixie]

College offers us the opportunity to meet and learn from a diverse population.  Very few people in life have the chance to meet a transgender person in life.  I think you should definitely do it in college.

Also some of the contacts we make in college will stay with us for the rest of our lives and help us professionally.  If you go through college as one gender and then turn into someone else later it can cause people not to really understand who you are and you may lose some important connections.

I'd do it now.  I also think you will open yourself up to scholarship opportunities and experiences.

[4A-GZE]

These are all very good points. I just need to find out whether I can start at 17 here, and if so, I'll get on it as soon as possible. I guess I don't mind the setbacks of transitioning in a hyper-conservative/Christian high school. They're nothing compared to waiting and regret.