Being able to "See past that man in the mirror" can take months, even years. So much of it is wrapped up in self-esteem and self-worth issues. I just could not (still half the times cannot) believe when others, even those I trust and love, tell me how good I look. For me it's not just the man. It's the big fat blob of a guy I was 30 years ago when I was nearly twice my current weight!