How to argue with transphobes?

[stavraki]

I don't argue with them I tell them to colour their books in.

*pops in*

ha ha ha -

*vanishes in puff of smoke*

[Dreams2014]

Most people today accept that being prejudice towards somebody for the colour of their skin is ridiculous. I hope that in the near future it will be seen as ridiculous to be prejudice towards somebody for their gender.

[Natkat]

I think the key is to first notice what kind of transphobic person your dealing with. what this person is to you and whats there agument.

is this a random person on the internet or is it someone in your famely? You must also value with yourself how much energy you feel like using on people if there not too important, theres always idiots and some of them are a waste of time to use your energy on, as already said dont feed the troll if you meet one.
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I would say theres 3 kinds of transphobic, theres those who think your wrong no matter what you say,
then theres those who just dont know any better and those who belive there right because they had a certain way to think which is diffrent than yours.
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those who dont know any better are pretty easy because there not ignorant of hate just by well ignorance so if you explain things to them in a nice way they usunally change there view.

people who have a certain kind of way of thinking and thats the reason for there transphobia is more difficult, and aguing with them you have to go with your point and reflext it to theres so you have to ask alot to notice what they belive and why and you have to put your answer in that kind of sense to make them understand.
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taking an exemple: "theres only men or women" <- statement
"who said that?" <-- asking into there point
"thats how nature created us" <--- getting there view
"nature didnt only create male or female speicies also hermophodite and sexchanging animals" <- taking there view into your agument.
for exemple
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and then the last category of no matter what you say you will be wrong, and you shouldnt wast your time of those people, and if you do anyway make them agenst there own statements and have fun with them explaining themself out of it..
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in general know what kind of person your dealing with, try to understand there view, and try as much as posible not to get angry. jugde if there even worth this and if not then put your time in something better.

[Natkat]

I think a way to know how to argue with transphobes, racist, sexist, or in general just someone you have an agument for whatever reason is to learn non violent communication. it is very difficult but I think it makes things more easy and less stressfull if you get it right.

I dont think its something you just learn, I still got problems in non violent communications and I belive everyone who grown up in a culture of political good or bad, are finding it difficult to learn, but I think the point is to try.

[MariaMx]

My all time favorite internet forum is apollohoax.net (I especially love the posts by a board member called JayUtah). It's dead now, but I still occasionally re-read some of the old discussions there. I've read several thousand posts on that forum but I can't remember a single instance of a hoax-believer ever changing his or her mind. In light of this I guess the discussions were futile.

On the other hand, I've learned so much from reading these discussions (like for instance the difference between a 1201 and 1202 alarm) even though not one single member of the ignoramus club ever changed their minds. It's all good for me though cause I got to be educated in physics, engineering practices, history, math, geology, photography, computer technology, formal logic etc. I'm so glad that forum exists, because if it didn't I'd be a less knowledgeable than I am right now.

Just because no-ones mind will possibly changed doesn't mean your efforts will be wasted. Someone out there is sure to read what you wrote and appreciate the effort you put into it. And then there's your own benefit - you get to practice skills in critical thinking and arguing. That can't be a bad thing, now can it? I think you should do it.

[StellaB]

I've not long back been dealing with a transphobe in my local shop. It's an older guy with a drink problem who came in for his Special Brew at the same time I was in the shop. He's there behind me giving it the comments and the swear words.

In the end I turned round to him and said, 'Look, I don't have any monkeys and you're so not my type, but if I give you a toss will you please keep your mouth shut?'

A few s>-bleeped-<s in the queue, and his mouth was shut.

However I don't think that words work, at least not as effectively as direct positive action.

A few years back I was volunteering in a night shelter with the homeless and I got abused (in Polish) by some of the homeless Poles. They knew I understood because one of my duties was to translate between Polish and English.

A couple of nights later and these Poles were involved in a fight with some of the native homeless and the ringleader got his nose broke before anyone could intervene. I helped split the fight up and I grabbed the ringleader and a friend and got another volunteer to drive us to the hospital. At the hospital I translated for him with the receptionist, doctors and X ray and back in the waiting room kept him and his friend supplied with teas and coffees.

Sat in the waiting room the ringleader asked me why I had been so willing to help him when he and his friends had been so abusive and hurtful to me a few nights before.

'I think you need to stop deceiving yourself,' I said (in Polish), 'You and your friends weren't the first people to abuse me and you're definitely not going to be the last. You didn't hurt me because everything you said I'd heard it all before. I'm used to it but you know, I'm me and I cannot be anyone else but me, so I have to get used to it. I came forward to help you because I first told people I was transgendered in Poland and I didn't want you to be in the same position I was back then.'

There was a silence, then he smiled, held out his hand and said (in English) 'You my friend.'

It's important to remember that transphobia, like homophobia comes from a position of fear. These people hold views about gender which are too rigid. We kind of throw them off balance, they become insecure, then afraid. The transphobic woman is insecure about her own femininity.

The transphobic man is generally scared that the transwoman will treat him the same way he treats women.

[vegie271]

The transphobic man is generally scared that the transwoman will treat him the same way he treats women.

I cut it short just to save space - - not every transphobic person just SAYS nasty things - the last transphobic person I met bashed my head against the cement and kicked me practically to death

[Makalii]

I cut it short just to save space - - not every transphobic person just SAYS nasty things - the last transphobic person I met bashed my head against the cement and kicked me practically to death

D:!!!!!! That's horrible!!!! *hugs for you*

[VeronicaLynn]

I would say theres 3 kinds of transphobic,

You missed the 4th type, the in the closet, in denial transgender, that hates because they aren't yet able to admit that they are themselves trans*...

I'm ashamed to admit I was of this type, not violently, or blatantly rude, but I was still there, and made a few transphobic comments to third parties...

[Mark3]

I wish this was a more current topic, I thought it was really relevant..?

I tend to ignore most people with this attitude today, but a few years ago I would have taken on the most ignorant people and theyre views, and argued till I either they hated me for relentlessly standing on my beliefs, or I them, for them not being even willing to entertain another view.. Usually it ended in yelling, and damaged friendships..

Today I realize that you can catch more flies (or people) with that proverbial honey, than you can with a hammer... One of the great things about a forum like this one, is the wealth of life experiences and situations that anyone can draw from, and share verbally with so called "non believers" in a real way that can't be easily discounted or argued against, and in fact many people who don't understand what transgender is or means, may find quite inspirational, and touch them in a much deeper way than just a loud debate would...

I'm pretty optimistic because on my other pages like Facebook I have very diverse groups, everything from Muslims to Mormons, and every orientation and ethnic group, and I post a lot of trans stuff, signs, sayings, etc, and basically everyone is accepting, at least outwardly, of any trans issues or ideals I post, and I think that says a lot about people in general..? I hope the number of ignorant people is shrinking..? It might not feel like it to many of you who get disrespect and ridicule often, but with all of the recent media attention to trans celebs, and the way so many diverse people can meet and get to know each other online, things just have to be getting better as far as transphobia, and more and more people accepting and understanding.......

There's my rant for the day...

[Kimberley Beauregard]

With the wilfully ignorant, it's best to tune them out and hope "nature takes its course" with them, so to speak.  If they are genuinely harbouring some anger or disgust, nothing says a big f#*% you like living your life.

[Jess42]

With the wilfully ignorant, it's best to tune them out and hope "nature takes its course" with them, so to speak.  If they are genuinely harbouring some anger or disgust, nothing says a big f#*% you like living your life.

That has to be the winning argument so far.

[Queen B]

You can't.

You CAN troll them though, and sometimes that's too hard to resist. 

[Jill F]

In real life I just tell them that they really need to work on their pickup lines.

[Jess42]

You can't.

You CAN troll them though, and sometimes that's too hard to resist. 

How true. It really seems to irritate them when you attack them and they try to attack back and think they are going to get a rise out of you and don't even act phased by it. I can see them in their mother's basements in their Cheetoh stained Tshirt with a red face and a BP that is dangerously close to giving them a stroke. It's really fun. But you can't let them get into your head though.