Quote from: Tessa James on November 04, 2013, 04:34:02 PM
Chaos I respect that you may have strong feelings about this but please recognize that you and I cannot possibly have encountered or know "most gay's" The examples that many people have related are anecdotal but do not give us a clear view of most gay people. I am fortunate to have a lot of friends who consider themselves somewhere within the queer/gay community. But, I still don't know most of the gay people even in our rural community because many LGBTQ folks are firmly in the closet or have gone stealth. Those are very personal choices and I am not faulting anyone about it.
I must also admit that I still cannot understand many transgender people and what animates their world view. It's hard to understand myself some days and that is one of my reasons for being here with you. Exploring and sharing our lives gives us a great opportunity to know ourselves and others better. Testing ourselves and our responses and asking questions can provide a forum for personal growth. I do encourage people to stretch their minds a bit and look at the bigger picture and be the change they want or need .
Marriage is a transgender issue too. My situation is similar to another Oregon couple who are taking their case public and to the courts. They have been married for decades and one spouse is MtF and has been through the works to get her sex marker changed to female. This, in the eyes of the law makes them a same sex couple and their loving marriage could be declared null and void. I don't want anyones relationship determined by a popularity test or arbitrary State laws. We have work to do and I want the largest circle of support possible for all of us in venues from the family to the Whitehouse.
I also assure you that we transgender people are gaining new rights and recognition. Our Oregon has enacted rules for insurance that mandate HRT for companies that provide it for natal women. Step by step is slow but still progress and a long way from what i remember growing up in the 1950s.
I have to give kudos for this post, especially in regards to how you've seen trans people act. At times, I've been very close minded and neglected to actually look around me and learn everything before I try to make a statement literally and figuratively. In the end, I think those values become harder to hold on to, I know I myself have had troubles being assertive. Hormones make me want to run from a fight- not engage in one.
Anyhoo, I think the real problem is, and I recently realised this, is there aren't a lot of trans people who are willing to stand there and fight. They're always so bent up on hiding and going stealth. I wanted to become that someday, but now, pretty much a highlight from my break from this forum and everything else overly social. If trans want more rights, they need to NOT go stealth. They need to be okay with where they came from and be able to actually stand and say they're proud to be who they are. I hate that I am trans, I really do. But I love that I'm overcoming my struggle, the best way to use that is to take confidence toward the bigots and the hatred.
Stealth is exactly what we don't need.
