Hello everyone! I have been lurking for a few weeks, I'm so happy to have found this place. I am in my mid-40s, assigned male at birth and expressed as male almost exclusively until very recently, though I've always had periods where I felt uncomfortable with being a male. I think I've understood on some level for a long time that I had a feminine side, but a number of events about 9 months ago helped me realized that I actually might not be male or at least not entirely male. As I've experimented with underdressing and, cautiously, with a little more - girl's jeans and some subtle makeup - I've been increasingly enlightened both by how liberated I feel and by how much I feel like I am a girl some days. I'm gradually coming out to my wife, though she was a bit shocked when she first found I'd bought panties and a bra, she's getting more comfortable with me wearing women's clothes around the house and she's generally OK with the idea that I'm questioning my gender but I can tell she's a little nervous. I think it's important to have her and our kids understand before I do much more.
I think I am more female than male, though I don't feel any real need to transition, at least I haven't yet (I wish it were possible to switch back and forth, as I feel that's what I do inside). And though I don't feel I can come out completely or dress overtly feminine at work, I'm OK for now with identifying (mostly) female and expressing mostly male. I'd prefer to be addressed as a female on here, though gender neutral is fine too (and may ultimately be more appropriate).
I'm looking forward to finding mutual support and learning more about me and what this all means; maybe finding some new ways to explore my gender and live in the world.
Love to all,
Ms. DeeDee
