a compliment to you folks

[Michelle F]

Kim Said:

"The dopiness on my part was thinking that since it's all there in full view (looks, breasts etc)and it's all on my MRI nobody could say it's all in my mind and not real and therefore there should be no problem with acceptance."

Yup, yup yup.

I showed the picture in this avatar to my family and explained all the emotions and physical stuff that I had been hiding, to which my sister replied: "so what if it's biological, why can't you just be a man?"

Funny logic, if I have breasts removed, go on testosterone to promote masculine characteristics, and deny my true personality, thats NOT TRANS, but if I have my face feminized, cut off my testoterone, and wear MY OWN boobs in a bra that IS TRANS?

So much for those who think that being intersexed will give you some kind of acceptance from the critics, it usually doesn't becuase most people are more concerned about how your situation affects them and not really concerned with the way it has made the recipient live a lifetime of confusion and self depreciation.

Just a thought before I take off my pink t-shirt and earings and go out and pretend I'm a dude one  more time today.

Hugs

Chelle

[daisybelle]

I showed the picture in this avatar to my family and explained all the emotions and physical stuff that I had been hiding, to which my sister replied: "so what if it's biological, why can't you just be a man?"

I would reply, " And how would you have me do this?"

Any response, to that would be, "Why don't you do the same?"

Expected response from her would be, "Because I am a woman!"

And your response should be: "Apparently my body is telling me the same thing."

I feel for you both --- wish I knew how to make you feel better.

HUGS

Daisy

[Michelle F]

Well, as Kim said, life is just too short. You start reasoning with these people and you suddenly realize; even if they accept you, it's just going to be as damaged goods anyway. Who needs that?

In the end you find yourself surrounded by only kind people because the jerks went away, oh , and if you have a nieghbor that kind of bugs and you wish they would go away, tell them about this...it does WONDERS for your privacy

Thank you Daisy, hope those around you treat you well.

hugs

Chelle

[Kim]

LOL. Never thought about it being used to get rid of all those pesky people you just can't shake. As for feelings Daisy, I am happy being who I am and ecstatic my wife stayed and even promotes my growth through this. I have no bad feelings, even when people turn against me. As I said, if they don't want to be a part of my life with me being the woman I am then it's their closeness of mind and it's a waste to try to convert them, and wastes far too much time if I feel bad about their decision. I just feel sorry for them and move on. It's the best way I feel. I think after 3 years of counselling for my rape during which time I took a life skills program I learned a whole new world which is beautiful. I believe in everyone's road a fork appears every so often and most times we can choose whether to travel beside beauty on a semi- smooth road or on the other where its all beat up fields with no trees, just bleakness and the road is full of dips and potholes. Only difference between me and other people is that I learned how to control my life so I stay on the better road (or as a famous poet said, the road less traveled). Just my opinion, not trying to condemn anyone here. God bless you and you too Chelle and may you have a good journey in your transitioning,
                                  Kim 

[Michelle F]

Hey Ms Kim.

I thought I would change my avatar for one day so you could see the whole me. As you can see, close but not close enough to just be left alone in public.

Well, that's it for one day. I just thought since you were bold enough to post your pic, I would return the respect. I have tried to go out in public like this, but people pick up real quick that something is not quite right.

That's the bummer of intersex, a little bit of one, a little bit of the other, nothing of just one. Oh well, at least our spouses understand anyway

Hugs
Michelle

Posted on: November 27, 2007, 10:04:47 PMBy the way, Daisy, the picture was meant for you too. I had some "liquid courage tonight" and no slight was intended by not mentioning your name. I just slipped.

I guess I also had a little liquid "insensitivity" too.

Sometimes it helps, for a while at least.

Thanks
M

[Kim]

Chelle,
    I'd say you could pass as female and I don't do liquid intensifiers!! LOL
Honestly, you do look fem. You are lucky in that you can grow your hair. For me, my job deems me male and my hair must be military style if you know what I mean. Same thing as piercing my ears, you have to leave the studs in so long and males aren't allowed to wear earrings while on duty (by-law enforcement/security detail). But you do look good girl. I know confidence is hard to build up in all this. And yes it does seem that when trying to pass in public that everyone who is looking at that guy falling off the ladder behind you while his paint can lands over his head are actually looking at you and pointing. You have it going for you girl. 
                                                                     Kim   

PS watch this commercial for a good laugh      and you'll see how people can be too!!LOL

[Michelle F]

Hey Kim

First of all thank you. I don't know, when you're in the line at Starbucks and the lady in front of you says to the guy she's with "is that a GUY" (pronouned ewwww) You gotta problem no matter what the guy falling off the ladder might be doing (relating to your post)

Like I said, some people never even look some people just don't care, and there are some people who do care, will be able to tell, and are willing to put on some serious harm to "different" people like me. Some people call me mam, some people act like I'm invisible and minimize me, and some people are ready to start WW3.

That's why I am looking into having my face worked on,  want to be invisible. I am sending my pics to the guy this week for a free consultation. Then there's that little issue of $

By the way, I understand about the job thing. That's why I am going to school, gotta get away.

The reason I posted the pic was because someone said in an earlier post "If that is you", and I wanted to show that yah, lot of feminine there, but not going to pass every day. I'll change the picture back tommorow because I like my anonymity. >

Canadian security firms huh? I'm sure there's a Eugene Levy movie in there somewhere!!

Hugs
M

[Kim]

Hey Michelle,
   I know what you mean about people, there are those like my Mom who aren't happy unless they can cause trouble for someone. I don't know, if I were in a bar and saw you I'd buy you a drink thinking you are female and ask for a dance or 2 or 3 etc etc. You are photo genic (I think that's how it's spelled). But alas, I agree there will be people out there that may notice or suspect. But if you seen some of the women I met who are gentic female I tell you these judges out there must be in overdrive debating who's who. We just have to trudge through it all. As long as we and our wives are happy is all that really matters.
                      Kim 

[Michelle F]

Buy me a drink huh?

That's how I got into trouble posting my picture last night. There were a little Thanksgiving leftovers and there went the inhibitions. (BTW, thanks for the compliment)

Sorry to hear your mom is like that. I know a person who was raised as a woman, but everyone thought she was just a man in drag so she began living as male. Grew a nice beard and everything (I am talking about an IS person), no breasts, hair on the chest, tiny penis, and went "she" went to "he" the sister and mom disowned them. When the mom recently died, the sister refused to let this person visit the deathbed.

That, Daisy, is why I don't fight it anymore. Sometimes the best punishment you can give a difficult person is to let them be with themselves. The best punishment you can give yourself is to try to change them and accomidate them.

Hey Kim one more thing, I don't dance...

Cheers
Chelle

[Kim]

Ok Chelle,
  If Thanksgiving leftovers tossed out your inhibitions I have but one question. What the heck do you cook your turkey in girl??

That, Daisy, is why I don't fight it anymore. Sometimes the best punishment you can give a difficult person is to let them be with themselves. The best punishment you can give yourself is to try to change them and accomidate them.

--- EXACTLY
      for now
                           Kim      
 

[daisybelle]

 

That, Daisy, is why I don't fight it anymore. Sometimes the best punishment you can give a difficult person is to let them be with themselves. The best punishment you can give yourself is to try to change them and accomidate them.

I can kinda relate in the opposite too...

I had a best-friend that the first time I met his girlfriend --- I said, "You better watch it or you will be engaged in 6 months!"  I was wrong it was only two.

Then when he divorced her he was married in six months again.

Divorced a few years later..... he is also my business partner...  I told him you do it again and I will come after you with a TWO by FOUR.   

You see those women interfere ( especially when divorcing ) in his judgment for business----- So I did I won't fight it any more --- next time he mentions marriage  --- I will KNOCK some SENSE into him....

Do not take this wrong... No matter what you do or not do --- someone will disapprove?  Your stance seems to be : Forget them - They are not worth the effort.

That should work.   

In my case above... It is worth the effort not to have to have him deal with another wife.

LOL 

Daisy

[Michelle F]

Daisy-girl,


Well, in that it is a business partner and the girls tend to go for the wallet in a divorce, I think you have a real reason to step in.

In my case I was married 5 weeks after I met my wife, and we have only fought about 3 times in 13 years. And yes we fought fairly. Sometimes you just know.

However, I would talk to a good $400.00 an hour lawyer about how to protect yourself in case your partner does this again, and I would consider plan B after this event. (I had my own business for 12 years, it was easier to make my own money than to wait for someone else to see past my skin and realize I was worth something)

just a thought
M

and PS, it wasn't what I cooked in the Turkey that was left over, it was what I washed it down with. d'oh

[daisybelle]

Me -- I knew my wife was a gem from the moment I saw her.  What I failed to realize is the environment she grew up in.  At one point she was taking Graphic Design and doing great.  Her mother said, "Who would have ever thought she would be good with computers?"

I was livid, at every turn her parents demoralize her, and knock out every bit of confidence.  Now as they are getting older instead of her working, she plays chaffeur and nursemaid to them.  It is really quite annoying.

And then this gets me --- her father goes out of the country on his own for his hobby - birdwatching.  So her mother who lives only 20 minutes away moves in.   ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!  And then she pays expenses to have my wife go on trips with her wherever(when her husband is out of the country).  However,  the focus on anyplace she is at is to shop, and she gets mad at my wife when my wife  does not go into  stores with her ( we do not have the money to frivously shop ).

Going to have to put my foot down soon.

Daisy