Jessica's Rose Garden

[KathyLauren]

OK Tia Anne, you asked for it...the first ever avatar for Jessica Rose. Just a little concealer and some lipstick. Taken just a few minutes after officially becoming a female! And yes, I am still smiling!

I may not be pretty, but I am beautiful.

You are indeed beautiful, and you have a fantastic smile!

[Jessica_Rose]

You are indeed beautiful, and you have a fantastic smile!

It is indeed amazing what happens when your mind and body are finally using the right type of fuel. That smile is new, it just came out of nowhere about a month ago...about the same time I came out to my daughters...I wonder if there is a connection?

Thanks everyone for your compliments. Today is the first time I ever had enough confidence in my appearance to post a photo of myself. When I look in the mirror I really don't see much, but I do think I look nice in the photo.

[tgirlamg]

There's My Beautiful Sister!!!!!!! ❤️😀🌻

[Jessica_Rose]

The pieces are all coming together. I received my FBI background report Thursday evening, and my Colorado background report arrived this evening. I now have all the paperwork I need to file a name change petition! Hopefully the government shutdown set for 8 Feb will not get in my way, it would really make Jessica Rose upset!

[Jessica_Rose]

Since I already put up one photo, I decided I may as well show a 'before' shot also. The 'before' was taken about a week after I started HRT, the 'after' was last week after 10 months HRT. I think I am looking just a little bit nicer!

[tgirlamg]

... and HAPPIER 😀

[Jessica_Rose]

Today was Jessica's second time out in the world. I went shopping my wife. Just used a little concealer and some lipstick. I wore dark blue ladies jeans, a dark red ladies turtleneck, and a snug black and grey lightweight ladies jacket. We went to Walmart (everybody fits in at Walmart), Panino's for lunch, World Market, Kohl's (I really needed a pretty purse!), and Target before stopping for gas on the way home. We were out in public for about 7 hours. I was apprehensive about every place we visited, and it was mentally exhausting. Trying to act like I belonged there, using my best voice and not trying to hide.

Guess what? I did not notice any stares or receive any rude comments or insults. No one seemed to notice or care. My wife and I enjoyed it. The world did not come to an end. It was awesomely uneventful. No matter the weather, it was a beautifully gorgeous day.

[Cassi]

Today was Jessica's second time out in the world. I went shopping my wife. Just used a little concealer and some lipstick. I wore dark blue ladies jeans, a dark red ladies turtleneck, and a snug black and grey lightweight ladies jacket. We went to Walmart (everybody fits in at Walmart), Panino's for lunch, World Market, Kohl's (I really needed a pretty purse!), and Target before stopping for gas on the way home. We were out in public for about 7 hours. I was apprehensive about every place we visited, and it was mentally exhausting. Trying to act like I belonged there, using my best voice and not trying to hide.

Guess what? I did not notice any stares or receive any rude comments or insults. No one seemed to notice or care. My wife and I enjoyed it. The world did not come to an end. It was awesomely uneventful. No matter the weather, it was a beautifully gorgeous day.

The treasure of womanhood - everyone gets ignored.  Awesome day you had says we!

[tgirlamg]

Guess what? I did not notice any stares or receive any rude comments or insults. No one seemed to notice or care. My wife and I enjoyed it. The world did not come to an end. It was awesomely uneventful. No matter the weather, it was a beautifully gorgeous day.

Hey Jessica Rose!!!!

Congrats on a wonderful day dear sister!!!... Get use to your thoughts above... It is funny how very much we go through and put ourselves through...just to live a mundane life!... But that is part of this journey... it makes us appreciate a simple day of shopping in ways other people will never get to know, enjoy or truly understand... Bask in the glow sister!... Look in the mirror and smile at the woman looking back... She is an amazing woman on an amazing journey where there is no such thing as mundane!

I am honored to call you my sister!!!

Onward we go....

Ashley 😀🌻❤️

[Jessica_Rose]

I'm exceptionally anxious right now. Jessica Rose is heading to the County Courthouse early this morning to be there when it opens. I will be filing my petition for a legal name change. Although John could go, it just would not feel right. I still feel like all eyes are upon me whenever I go out as Jessica Rose, which is a feeling that is hard to ignore. Maybe it is because I feel like an imposter, John masquerading as Jessica Rose? Hopefully once the name change is complete the tables will be turned - I will truly be Jessica Rose, and John will be the imposter.

[Jessica_Rose]

Well, I survived the Courthouse. I only wore a light, snug jacket to make my 'accessories' more obvious. Unfortunately I got there 15 minutes early, they would not open the doors until 7:30am, and it was only 23 degrees. Brrrrr. A least I was first in line! All the papers were in order, so I paid my $100 filing fee and went home.

I did notice a few folks looking at me, but I did not receive any odd looks or comments. So far everyone has been courteous. I took a half-day of vacation for my Courthouse visit, and my manager OK'd me working from home the rest of the day so I will be able to stay dressed. It will provide an opportunity to visit my electrologist as Jessica Rose for the first time.

[Laurie]

Good for you Jessica. Getting out in public where you have to interact with "people" is indeed nervie racking at the beginning. I have a sure fire way if getting over those nerves though.. Take a month long road trip mostly if not completely en femme. Throw in several stops to visit other folk here and that'll do it. That is what I did and when I returned home I just never again donned my male garb. Yep I began living full time before I was half way to my destination. But then you knew that already since you were one of my lurking fan. You can do this Jessica.

Hugs,
  Laurie

[Jessica_Rose]

It is so close now. Finally becoming Jessica Rose for real. It was just over a year ago that I realized and accepted I was transgender. In a way it seems like a dream. My life is now rushing forward to that moment when I can finally let her out of the darkness where she has been locked away all of these years. Just thinking about it scares me, I truly do not know what I will do or how I will react. What happens when over forty years of emotions are finally released? That moment will be frighteningly beautiful. Jessica Rose will finally come into the light, and she will find peace.

[tgirlamg]

What happens when over forty years of emotions are finally released? That moment will be frighteningly beautiful. Jessica Rose will finally come into the light, and she will find peace.

Yes you will... You will make this world your own dear sister!!!

Onward we go Jessica Rose!

A 😀❤️🌻

[Jessica_Rose]

I cannot believe this. My name change petition came in the mail today. Tomorrow morning I will visit the local newspaper to get the change published. On Monday I should be able to pick up the publication affidavit and get my final decree from the court. If all goes well, I could officially become Jessica Rose on Monday!!!!!

[Jessica_Rose]

Last week after I picked up my 'gender marker' form I sent a note to my doctor along with a copy of my avatar photo:

I picked the form up this morning, and I am still smiling. You have helped changed my life from one filled with anger to one filled with joy. I cannot ever thank you enough. I hope this isn't a misuse of the system, but I wanted you to see how happy you have made me...

I received a response from my doctor today:

So glad Jessica. You just made my day. I have been getting caught up after having to leave the office last Thursday for a family emergency. Back in office yesterday but buried in messages - yours 'made my day' too.

[Cindy]

Hi Honey,

I have just caught up with your posts and WOW. Well done darling!!

Your Doctor sounds a really nice person as do the people where you are living. That does make life so much easier.

Your facial and hair changes are going really well and I love the smile.

I often think the measure of transition is in the eyes and that is so true for your picture, You have gone from the dead look to a sparkle and that is gorgeous to see.

Thank you for your lovely posts! They have cheered me up no end.

[Jessica_Rose]

Thank you Cindy. It is people like you who give many of us the inspiration to begin our own journey. You have had a much more difficult path than the majority of us, yet you persevere with grace and dignity. I still have a lot to learn about myself, but the wisdom and knowledge of those who preceded me will help guide me through the inevitable storms. Thanks again to you Cindy, and to all of the other beautiful people who contribute their words to this site.

[Bari Jo]

Hi Jessica, wow you are doing some big steps.  I look up to your becoming your true self and with such poise.

Bari Jo

[Jessica_Rose]

Poise? Well that does not come easily. Some days when an important transition-related event occurs it takes everything I have to appear calm and confident on the outside, because inside I want to curl into a quivering ball! I have a feeling Monday and Tuesday will be extremely difficult. The support and encouragement I get here is a tremendous help.

I visited our newspaper publisher today. My legal notice for the name change will run in the paper Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Luckily the notice does not include my address, and I live in an area with a population over 500,000. If anyone at work mentions the notice I'll just say 'Wow, someone else in this town has my name!' If all goes well, I will officially be Jessica Rose on Monday. I will not be going to work that day, but I may well have trouble driving home from the courthouse.

Tuesday I should be able to go to the DMV for my driver's license. Not only will my license have my new name, but it will also have my new gender marker. I will work from home that day so I can be dressed appropriately when I go to the DMV after work (around 2:30pm). That will be another huge day.

The HR folks at my company want to be here when I make the announcement, and most of them are in another state so they need to make travel plans. This pushes my coming out day to 16 Feb (I want to do it on a Friday). I can tell everyone here at Susan's as soon as it is official, but it means I will officially be a woman named Jessica Rose for 12 days before I can tell anyone at work. Arghhhh!!!