When did you start presenting your desired gender?

[Sinead]

I feel like I've been putting a lot of pressure on myself recently, I've been trying to ready myself to start presenting as female as soon as possible (make-up, wigs, hair loss, clothes), the main reason for this is seeing other trans women and cis women and wanting to look like them so badly, but recently, I've thought to myself, why am I rushing? I know I'm trans, eventually I'm going to present female for the rest of my life, there's really no need for me to do it right now.

Anyway, most of the trans people I see/meet are presenting as their desired sex (every trans person I seem to see/meet is further along in their transition than me).

I just wanted to ask, how far into finding out you were trans, or coming out as trans, did you decide to start living as your desired gender?. Any answers would be really helpful, I'm trying to reassure myself that I'm rushing this for no reason and to take my time and make sure I go about it correctly.

[Allison S]

Hey Sinead, you really have to go at the pace you feel most comfortable. If that means wig, makeup, clothes, etc. then that's great!!

Personally, I'm back and forth a lot. I wore leggings out every chance I had a few weeks ago and it was nice. But it got colder (surprisingly) and went back to my usual tight fitting jeans. I also bundle up on top so I don't put too much effort there, unless I'm going to group or therapy.

I do wear eye makeup, gloss and some powder. Sometimes I'll add blush, foundation and contour. But it really just depends on my mood. Recently, I don't want to wear makeup at all. I've had a handful male clerks call me "sir, buddy, boss" and 2 female workers call me "he" (all when I don't wear makeup only). Also, I will say this is only within the past 2 or 3 days and I'm 6 months on hrt.

What you'll notice, if you haven't already, is that each thing you do you will want to see if it helps/doesn't help. Honestly, I've a rough few days because it's a lot to go through because I get very hurt when called "sir, buddy" or "he". I didn't today...

Sorry this is long winded but this is my experience so far.

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[sarah1972]

15 months after realizing I am trans and telling my wife and 6 months after starting HRT I did go full time.

In the early 15 months I gradually started wearing more female cloths and then exclusively...

[natalie.ashlyne]

I was about 7 months into hrt when I started I was scared nervous but happy with myself

[LizK]

I spent about the first 12 months after working out that I had GD and how badly it was affecting my life both past and present. I think once you work it out for yourself it becomes difficult to hold back. In my case I knew there was a way to make the GD lessen and maybe even stop...so what was holding me back? Passing, Confidence, permission? if so from whom? etc etc...questioning and second guessing myself.

Eventually I worked out where I considered my safe places were and presented myself as female at each of these places...once I overcame the initial giddy excitement of finally being me I was left with the practicality of it all. In my case I had to accept that I would always be seen as trans no matter what surgeries I had or how I presented myself. Once I got to this point there didn't seem much purpose in holding back. The only thing I really waited on was to have the correct official ID...once I had this then I went fulltime...which was about 18 months after coming out.

Hope that is of some help

Take care

Liz

[MeTony]

I'm ftm. I have gradually changed my cloths for 10 years. Today I wear no womens cloths. I told my husband in October 2017. I will start seeing a gender therapist after summer 2018.

I pretty much live like a guy, but I have not changed my name yet. I'm not out at work yet. But will be this summer.

Not the real RLE yet, but I'm getting there. There is no rush. Take it in your own pace. You will go full time when you feel ready.


Tony

[Michelle_P]

After I first came out, I started appearing in public as myself with my second therapist visit, roughly weekly, April 2016.  Soon after I spent the entire 'therapy day', or as much as I could get away with, out as myself.  I went full time 7 months later as soon as I started living on my own, on October 22, 2016.

[Donna]

So for me I started on meds in may of 2017. Came out to my wife in dec 2017
Started dressing partly fem in January 2018 and started on Estrogen in January
February 2018 dressing female every day but still had face hair.
March 2018 no more face hair bought a wig and make up and have been living and working  as a female for one month now and I've never been happier

[Megan.]

Last day I presented male was 21st April 2017. Been gorgeous for almost a year now [emoji16]

I had been going out in public (except work and around my kids) for several months prior.

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[Shy]

I came out to my family sixteen months ago but known I was trans all my life. I've have been living full time for a little over a year now, pre HRT. I just gradually eased into it changing a few things here and there to let those around me get used to the new me.
Presenting as your desired gender isn't a binary act, it's something that evolves over time, so no need to put pressure on yourself unless you're ready. You're already transitioning, preparing, questioning, exploring. That's how it started with me.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

[KathyLauren]

I admit that I was in a hurry to transition.  At age 61 when I started, I realized that I had already lived at least two-thirds of my life.  I wanted to waste no more time in my old gender role than I absolutely had to.

Starting from when I came out to my wife, I started HRT at 7 months and went full-time at 10 months.  I couldn't wait any longer: living as male while knowing I was female was an emotional strain and would have driven me crazy if I had kept it up any longer.

Megan and I are practically twins, because my full-time date was 20 April 2017, just one day before hers. 

[josie76]

I first went out in public in all fem clothes very shortly after telling my family. My wife and I drove to my brothers house in the city. I had on makeup and a wig that day. The first trip I made to my therapist I dressed in female clothing but no makeup or wig. That was only my second trip outside and the first by myself. I was sooo scared that day. From then on I began wearing women's jeans for my normal casual wear with tee shirts. Women's jeans were actually comfortable because they fit me properly. For my job I continued wearing my work jeans and uniform shirt. My work jeans fit so long as I wore them on my pelvis not on my waist. This was the way I had worn all my men's jeans for years. As a few months of HRT passed I would sometimes wear women's cut tee shirts but still in very neutral colors. Even today I have a hard time wearing any bright colors. I spent my life trying to hide in plain sight so it makes sense. Last July I was hurt badly at work. After that I went public and I always wear MY clothes. I do still like casual tee shirts. I need to get some more girly cut tee shirts for this summer though.

[GCHR88]

I started going out to clubs and outings with friends as my authentic self when I was about 20 years old . I officially went 100% full time a little after my 22nd birthday but by then most people knew me as my authentic self and my outings in male form were rare and stressful.

I know it is easy to get caught in a loop of self doubt or comparison to others,  but please know that each persons transition is a personal journey and there is no set time line of how long it should take you to transition or how you transition. Do what feels right for you .  Best of luck on your journey.

[missmacyrose]

I began HRT in late July of 2017, and slowly started wearing more clothes leaning towards the androgynous side. I only had a few close friends who knew, as well as my wife, so I would present as female in front of them. In October for our Honeymoon we went to Disneyland and I presented 100% female then because we were not near anyone else we knew. It was late December when I had my first day fully dressed and presenting in my hometown area. Going full time actually was my New Year's resolution. I made a Facebook post finally coming out publicly to all of my friends and family who didn't already know. So I've been full time since January 1st of this year!

[TicTac]

I started HRT in the beginning of 2016 and I did not start presenting until like a few months ago actually. I wear only woman's clothing, but it is kinda gender neutral such as skinny jeans/leggings and women's shirts. I do not wear dresses or skirts because of a silly fear. I basically pass 100% so not sure what I am worried about. Honestly, even if I didn't I highly doubt anyone would really care, as people are to busy with their own lives to judge.

Huh, I should probably take my own advice lol.

[Donna]

I could never picture myself in a dress. It's now my fave rite item to wear around the house and out   Even did a service call last week in my dress.

[Cakemonstomus]

About 10 days after 8 turned 15, 3 years ago. Still not on HRT yet 😓 but working on that. haven't looked back since.

[Doreen]

I tried putting it off 2-3 years in college.   Went through 4 purges even! lol.. that didn't work.. Then it started happening slowly (starting with a name change).  Around 1995, after that it was full speed ahead, never ever looking back.  I knew that if I looked back I might balk or get scared.  Even when things got rough (as they did from time to time) I just kept plugging forward.  I saved every last penny to get everything I needed.. no heat, very little food... all to complete what needed completing.  The final 'purge' was a house fire at my parents (Was living there temporarily) that burned EVERYTHING that was old, and all I had was me.   The real me.  No old photos, no before/after.  Just me, as a girl.. the way it should have always been.

One of my most endearing qualities according to my mother is being stubborn.. and that is the quality I needed to persevere.  I was incredibly stubborn and refused to look back.

Now I'm alot  prettier, married in a good relationship, and don't regret anything I did.. other than not doing it even sooner.  Life is like that though. 

[Kylo]

Consciously it was about 5 or 6 years ago, but unconsciously I'd been doing it for decades. The only thing I didn't do was tell people I was male, until I officially started transition

[Danielle P]

Yeah you don't need to rush at all. Some people and some therapists gave me the impression that I should be starting RLE before HRT, or within 6 months of starting. But there's no right time to start, just start when you're comfortable.

For me, I was on HRT for 14 months before I started RLE! And then I kind of just went straight to full time with no part time in between.