How did you choose your name?

[CuriousCat94x]

@Donica I am 100% with you on wanting to keep the same initials, it would make things easier I believe. Unfortunately my name is so masculine that it would be difficult to shape it into a female version. 


@pretty pauline  Unfortunately I don't have the luxury of adding or subtracting letters from my birth name to feminize it. My mother did have a female name ready for me though, I might end up taking that as my new name. 

@NC_Rose That is a beautiful name I have an aunt named Rose and Iv'e always wanted to be named that too lol, but I would just feel awkward, anyways I don't feel like it suits me at all lol. Tess sounds lovely and now I will have to look up "Tess of the d'urvervilles".   

@Melanie Jean OMG! Lmao I really need to be careful with not messing up my name, I don't want to be that one person who has a weird funny looking name that was chosen by silly parents!  Unfortunately I don't have the luxury of having supportive family & friends to "practice" anything with.    It is the reason why I decided to come here and become true friends with all of you.   

Part of the reason why I started this thread is to find inspiration for my new name and gain tips on finding it (which has been working out a lot better than I expected, thank you all for your tips and support!), soon I will post some details so that we can hopefully find my real name lol. 

[NC_Sarah]

My wife is having a hard time with the thought of me changing my name, the sheer amount of paperwork is daunting, especially as a naturalised citizen. She also has the fear that it will be losing "me" when I change it. I feel it's becoming "me" by finding my true name, but I understand her concerns. My name is "Andy" which could be used as a female context, but when I hear it, Its a reminder of who I was, not who I am.

Who knew that something as simple as a name, could mean so much! We were given these names at birth, but when we transition, we get to choose who we want to be, which is liberating and very powerful.

[Ar-bar-bar]

I chose the name Ariel. She was my first crush and I haven't seen too many people with that name. also it's two letters off from my dead name. (gabriel).

[KathyLauren]

I chose the name Ariel. She was my first crush and I haven't seen too many people with that name. also it's two letters off from my dead name. (gabriel).

Hi, Ariel!

Welcome to Susan's.

Thanks for jumping it!  That's a pretty name.

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[SamanthaMelody]

I was going to reply a few days ago but realised I hated the name I was using. Fortunately I hadn't posted yet to I deleted the accounts and spent a bit of time finding a name I liked even if it only a temporary one. 

I originally chose a name that would allow me to use my male nickname but it didn't feel right.

I ended up writing down a list of names of women from sci-fi shows and a few non nerdy names that I liked. As much as I liked many of them Samantha was the only one that felt right. I also had someone that knows me well help with taking away names that didn't suit me. I really wanted to use the name River, I really like it and it has the advantage of being connected to two awesome characters but after sleeping on it I had to agree it didn't feel like me.

It's still very early days for me though so I imagine I might feel differently at some point. Only time will tell. 

[ErinAscending]

When I admitted to myself I am what I am and decided that I would need a new name, I spent half a day at work going over all kinds of options trying to find one that "Sounded Right".  I went through names of actresses and names from literature.  Names from movies.  Names of women I knew in the past and names of girls I knew as a kid...  NOTHING fit.

So a half hour before I was due to get off work and make the trek home, I gave up because that's when I would start getting depressed anyway.  I drove home thinking about fifty thousand different things having nothing to do with a name and when I get there I do what I always do.  I go change into my casual clothes in the bathroom in the back of the house.

I finished changing and found myself just blankly looking at myself in the mirror and then hear a common call from across the house in the living room.  "(Insert Male Name Here)!!!!".  My wife wanted help with something so I look at the bathroom door and shout back "I'll be right there!!!!"

I look back in the mirror and say out loud to myself without a thought to latch onto, "Alright Erin.  Time to go be a husband."

I giggled to myself all the way up the hall.  It stuck.

I have since come out to my wife (three weeks ago) and she is NOT processing well.  So, it's still a name I use here on Susan's and I have told my new therapist and my cousin.  But no one else yet knows.  My wife doesn't want to know.

[KathyLauren]

I was going to reply a few days ago but realised I hated the name I was using. Fortunately I hadn't posted yet to I deleted the accounts and spent a bit of time finding a name I liked even if it only a temporary one. 

Hi, Samantha!

Welcome to Susan's.

Thanks for jumping in with your perspective.  Susan's is a great place to try out names. 

Please feel free to stop by the Introductions forum to tell the members about yourself.  Here is some information that we like to share with new members:

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[Julia1996]

It was actually my mom who suggested the name Julia. My boy name was Julian and she said it would be easier for people to use Julia rather than an entirely different name. That was the ONLY help/advice my mom ever gave me concerning transition.

[MaryT]

I can remember, when I was about four, my mother telling me that I couldn't be called Mary because I was a boy (she knew that because of my teeth).  I can't remember why I asked to be called Mary.  It cropped up a lot, though, as in "Mother Mary", "Mary had a little lamb" and "Mary, Mary, quite contrary".  It was also still a common girls' name in the 1950s and 1960s.

If I were starting from scratch, I would use a name that sounded nice when used with my surname.  I wouldn't necessarily choose from a list of names popular at the time of my birth.  However, I wouldn't want to use a name that was definitely invented by someone else AFTER the time of my birth.

[NC_Sarah]

My wife is having a hard time with the thought of me changing my name.....

My wife is starting to feel more comfortable with me changing my name. I see my male name as being who I was, not who I am. I also had issues with an abusive mother when she thought I was "different" so I have bad associations with being called "Andrew" I have always gone by Andy, my mother still calls me Andrew and I hate it.

Chatting with my wife, she realises it now. I feel the male parts of me are "ugly" when I step out of the shower and see myself in the mirror. The same goes with my name. Its not me. Choosing my name is taking control of me and is my decision and reflects who I am, not who my abusive mother forced me to be.

I have come to terms with my mother, she's a different women and old and frail, she's not the women I knew and has blacked out all memories of my childhood. I don't feel angry any more and I wish her well. When I change my name, it will sever the ties to memories which are nothing but painful.

Choosing a name is incredibly powerful, it means more than just changing a signature, it reveals who we are inside and tells people "this is who I am".

Hugs all

[emma-f]

When I was very young my mum told me that had I been born a girl it would have been Emma.

After I came out, I told my mum that I'd chosen Emma in honour of her. Anyway she tells me that my name wasnt going to be Emma and that I'd obviously misremembered, but she liked the name and told me to stick with it

Em x

[AlexanderDS]

I never really chose my name.

When I first discovered my true identity, I briefly went with the male version of my birth name. That lasted all of two seconds - and then I already took Alexander as my second name. I said I'd go as Alexander only after full transition, but as I said, I ditched the other name pretty soon.

I never chose Alexander. I just knew, if that makes sense? It just felt right.

[SeptagonScars]

For my ftm transition I chose the name John. Cause it was simple, international and I had no bad vibes to it. Also cause it's kinda timeless, like equally popular for the past 100 years. I carried that name for 9 years. I also chose the additional names Eli, from a book character I liked, and Mikael, from my father.

For my detransition, instead of going back to my birth name Sara which I still hate, I picked a new name: Laura. Mostly cause it starts with the same two letters as my surname so it gives a nice flow to my full name and I can have the initials "L.L.", cause of the vibes I get from it, and it just... idk, resonates with me. I feel like a Laura. It's a bit more rare of a name where I live, but still a "normal" name and spelling, and that appeals to me. For middle names this time around I'm taking back Irene which was my former middle name pre-transition (from my mother), and also adding Anna which is the name of my alter personality (DID thing). At first I thought I'd only add her name if we'd integrate/merge, but then I thought why not add it already. We're technically the same person either way.

So my current name that I chose for my ftm transition when I thought I was a guy is 'John Eli Mikael' and my new name will be 'Laura Irene Anna' followed by my surname.

I'm gonna go through with the process of changing my name legally again now. Or well, next week. Been practicing my new signature now. It will be the third time I'll do a name change, and hopefully the last time. How difficult that process is depends on your location. Here in Sweden, not that difficult. Just fill in a form, send it, pay the price of it, and wait for an approval.

[SallyChoasAura]

I haven't decided if I'll change my name or not but since you're looking for a female name I would suggest looking for something in a different language and use the persentation of that word.
For example: sea in irish gaelic is farraige.

[Violet]

I asked my late wife, whom totally supported my transition, to give me a name. She chose Violet Rene. I changed my name to Violet after she passed away, but I had to choose my middle name so I modified my counselor's name and chose Raechel. Violet Raechel Rene! I love my new name and I also changed my style of signature.

[am3579]

Matthew (Matt) always just felt right. I toyed around with other names, but they all didn't seem to fit. My middle name, an old friend chose, saying Taylor suits me well.

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[CuriousCat94x]

@Ar-bar-bar You're one of the lucky women that can easily change the name, but  I keep seeing posts about taking on a crush's name. Maybe it's a start? I'll post some names soon 

@SamanthaMelody Samantha is a beautiful name, I'm sure it suits you well    I've been looking at names from the media as well and there are a few that I like, but they're too close or the same as some of my relatives. I feel like it would be awkward sharing a name with someone who decided to hate me for being me 

@ErinJohnson Just one day?  lol Iv'e been at this for months haha, hopefully I will also get a sudden realization about what my name truly is 
I wish you well on your journey of transitioning Erin 

@bloo11 Really? Just like that and boom! Name changed! lol I don't think it will be that simple where I'm at, haha, but that won't stop me from getting around to it eventually. Cye is a cool name, how do you pronounce Kyla? I also read it as "Kayla"   

[CuriousCat94x]

My wife is having a hard time with the thought of me changing my name, the sheer amount of paperwork is daunting, especially as a naturalised citizen. She also has the fear that it will be losing "me" when I change it. I feel it's becoming "me" by finding my true name, but I understand her concerns. My name is "Andy" which could be used as a female context, but when I hear it, Its a reminder of who I was, not who I am.

Who knew that something as simple as a name, could mean so much! We were given these names at birth, but when we transition, we get to choose who we want to be, which is liberating and very powerful.

Now that I think about it, the name is basically everything I mean, how else would we be able to identify someone? This whole name change suddenly feels so much more like a giant step in my transition process, it now holds a lot more weight than just, "oh I'll just choose a new name". It's now like I'm seriously choosing who I will be for the rest of my life, who I will be known to the world as, who I will be...

It's truly a powerful decision and now I realize that if I've been thinking about, daydreaming about, being the opposite gender, ever since I can remember,  then it means I truly was born in the wrong gender. I mean, "regular" guys don't "obsess" over being the opposite gender, do they? Sure I was born a as a dude, but the reality is that I feel like I was supposed to be born as a female and with my name change I feel like I'm a step closer to correcting that problem

[Kirsteneklund7]

Hi Curiouscat94x,
When I was in primary school whenever I day dreamt of being my girl self I was always Christine. Later when I ended up having a gender identity crisis at 46 years old it was adjusted to the Scandinavian version - Kirsten. My legal name is Kynun John - en femme is Kirsten Janelle.
Perhaps you had a favourite girl name as a child ?
You raised an interesting topic by the way!
Kind regards, Kirsten.

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[alex82]

Signed it over to my mothers responsibility, which seemed fair. I didn't really want control of it, I wouldn't have had any originally so, up to her.

The temptation to go overly prissy and feminine might have resulting in something really tacky. It seemed more authentic that it would be something chosen by her generation for my generation, instead of my take on what subsequently became fashionable, or was otherwise pleasing to my ears but of the wrong generation and background. Either of which would be synthetic as a result.

Originally, it was supposed to be Samantha. She'd gone off it in the intervening years, so it isn't.