Hi Confusedfairy,
I am sorry to hear of your problems with your relationship. I admit that I checked out your first post to the site to find out a little more about your situation. Different stages of life call for different types of advice and you and I are at different places of life. My partner is 70 and I am 65 and had been together for 30 years before she even realized she was a she. I would of had the same feelings you did if all the changes happened in our 30s. It is different at our stage of life. That said I want you to know you are not alone. I do know from personal experience that being part of a transgender couple changes both people and whether the relationship lasts or not you must still deal with the changes that have happened to you. Some of my most upsetting time was when my partner was trying to figure out who and what she was. It was then that I came to the realization that I needed to answer the question "who am I" as part of this couple but more importantly as the individual that I am. So often the SO is seen as a side show secondary to what is happening to the person who is "transitioning". Please do not fall in to that trap. You are both in transition. Hers/his might be more visible, but yours are very much as real from the emotional side. Even without transgender issues, life is change! Your life, your emotions, your thoughts, your being is as important as everyone else. This is a place you can come to ask questions or vent emotions or tell your story. Sometimes telling your story is what it takes to help yourself figure out what your next steps are. Hope you will come back here to share. The door is always open.
Debi, the shorter of the two brides
