Mindy's Ramblings

[Melinda@heart]

Thanks Pamela.

Since my last post I have been taking a lower dosage of E and Spiro. And have added in Bicalutamide. My doctor suggested a reduced spiro dosage and only take it every other day for a week then stop.

Observations: All since my appt.

Body hair- regrowth after shaving slowed significantly. Hair density diminished greatly.

Testes- shrinkage quite noticable. Scrotum stays drawn up as if I were cold, even when  at the gym. No sexual desire.

Mood- Feeling lethargic again, mildly depressed or maybe just bored? When I increased my E I noticed the depression went away. I'm kind of worried about reducing it again because I dont want to feel that way anymore.

Skin- Silky smooth. I have read this is the Bicalutamide. Whatever it us, I like it!

I measure my hips and breasts last night. I have gained a full 3 inches in the bust and 2 in the hips. As stated in a previous post, I'm reducing my dosage because I'm starting a new job. We are required to wear polos and they do not help hide breasts at all. I want to slow my breast growth down significantly. At the moment I'm relying on compression undershirts to help conceal them.

Anyway, I just wanted to notate this for myself.



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[Melinda@heart]

I just gave myself my first Estradiol injection.

The fear is real. Am I really doing this? How fast will I see changes? Can I handle what's sure to come? Am I REALLY transgender? OMG. Too late now. I took the step. I need to see Mindy. She needs a chance at life.

My new/old job is going good so far. After only 2 weeks I've moved my store up to number 3 in the District. We were at 9 or 10 out of 13. Number 1 is in my sights. Then its move up the ranks in the Eastern Region and finally the entire company. I see it. My team will be the best again.

Work has kept me so busy there has been no gym time for a few weeks. That changes Monday. My bff has informed me I'm to get my ass back to the gym then. I love a dominant woman. Well, she's semi-dominant. And then only when she's not dealing with those dreadful self esteem issues.

Mindy, I hope to see you soon bloom into the beautiful woman you are.

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[Melinda@heart]

So, minor update. I was ma'amed two different times while in guy mode in the past month. *happy sigh*

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[Melinda@heart]

It's been awhile since I've posted here. It's hard to explain why, but I've felt like I dont belong here or rather I'm most likely not wanted here. I have posted some of my religious and political views in the past and I noticed that after the last post people just quit responding to me. It may be all in my head. I don't know. I decided to post an update here for myself regardless of who else might read it.

Update:

It's been just over a year since I started HRT. I started on E pills and Spiro but close to the 1 year mark my doctor switched me to Ijections for E and several months before that took me off Spiro and put me on Bicalutamide. I must say the switch in both cases was worth it for me. My hips  have grown considerably, my breasts buds developed further and grew quite a bit. My body hair has greatly diminished. I am so thankful for that! I shave my face once a week now. My legs and upper body maybe every 2 weeks. My skin is soooooo soft. I love the changes.

I have also been on finesteride and minoxidil (Kirkland's on Amazon for $25 for 6 months supply). I have seen significant hair regrowth in my crown and every where but the forehead area. I started the last 2 in January.

My doctor gave me an Rx for Progesterone which I picked up today. I'll be starting it tonight. Yes, its micronized progesterone. I'm really hoping for areola/nipple development more than anything. I have good sized nipples but I would like them a bit bigger. I would also love more rounded out breasts.

I have also been coming out to people I work with. I told all of my employees and to my surprise all were accepting or at least non- judgmental. I've started buying more androgynous clothing for my daily wear. But I have an increasing desire to go full time. I think it's the E injections aligning my brain stuff finally.

I have always said I was unsure if I wanted GCS/SRS but lately I have had the mindset that it is most definitely something i desire. FFS as well. Along with hair transplants and electrolysis and all the other bank account draining stuff..

Mentally, I have not been more stable all my life. It's amazing to me how my severe depression vanished. I still have days where I doubt everything and question ALL my decisions but those are less frequent. I feel "right" for once in my life. I look in the mirror and see my hips and breasts and I can look past the rest of my body and see hope and a future.

My future is bright. My future is mine.

Mindy

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[Northern Star Girl]

@Melinda@heart
Dear Melinda:
Thank you for coming back to your thread to share your update with me and the rest of your followers.
WOW... you previous update was 2 1/2 months ago on March 15 !!!!

Please get that thought out of your head that you think that you do not belong here or that you are not wanted here.... that is the furthest from the truth.   
Regarding how other members respond to our postings.....  we all have our own things that we are going through and as I do my thing and daily read through all the postings from others, there are some that I can respond intelligently to and there are others that do not necessarily say something that I can respond positively to....

Don't worry about responses...  I know that is easy for me to say, but your thread and your posts are about your thoughts and your trials, tribulations, successes and failures.    Even if you do not get a lot of responses, the fact that you are writing out your feelings is good personal therapy.   It gives you a chance to review your thoughts and to postulate positive actions.

Thank you for your ONE YEAR HRT update..... at this point, most transitioners start seeing and feeling dramatic changes.  Certainly exciting... and there is lots more to come especially since you are now starting Progesterone!!!

It is great that you are getting brave and starting to come-out to your co-workers....   for most it is a fearful endeavor but it is almost never as bad as it is first thought... and it is like a big heavy weight is lifted off of your shoulders... and many times we find more acceptance that we thought we would.

Regarding  GCS  and  FFS.... those are certainly big steps in any transition so be sure to give it a lot of thought, get professional opinions, and then do what you desire to do...... 
I will tell you that for me it was best to give HRT a little more time to do what it could do in my own transition journey.

It is good to read that your depression has vanished and that you are now seeing the new you in the mirror.
YES, YOUR future is bright, YOUR future is YOURS!!!!

Thank you for posting your long awaited update.... please don't make me and your followers wait so long to read your transition report!!!! 
HUGS and best wishes as always,
Danielle

[pamelatransuk]

Hello again Mindy. It is so wonderful to read such an uplifting report. I am delighted you are seeing such improvements both mentally and physically.

I also started Progesterone (on March 17th in fact) and seek nipples and areolae increase. I wish you success in attaining these possible benefits and with Progesterone in general.

Hugs

Pamela

[Melinda@heart]

Daniele and Pamela,

Thank you both for your kind words and encouragement.  I really appreciate it. You both always have something uplifting and positive to say. It always makes me smile to read comments from you both!

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[Northern Star Girl]

@Melinda@heart
Dear Mindy:
Thank you for your reply....
....please, please, please... keep us updated more frequently... but only post things you feel that you can share with others.  For your more private stuff it would be good to have your own private journal at home for your eyes only.

As I mentioned in my previous reply, this is YOUR thread and your testament of your personal journal...  this is an important tool for you to track and to chronicle your successes and discouragements.   

Hugs,
Danielle

Daniele and Pamela,

Thank you both for your kind words and encouragement.  I really appreciate it. You both always have something uplifting and positive to say. It always makes me smile to read comments from you both!

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