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Bad jokes and puns

Started by davina61, January 10, 2024, 04:21:02 AM

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ChrissyRyan

#280
February 08, 2026, 04:36:18 PM
A circle has two sides.

The inside and the outside.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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davina61

#281
February 18, 2026, 04:27:07 AM
My wife is a little treasure, she need putting in a box and burying on a desert I island!!
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017
GRS 2021 5th Nov

Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever
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Lori Dee ✅

#282
February 18, 2026, 09:12:26 AM
True Story:

When I was in Germany and meeting my future mother-in-law for the first time, I brought her a box of Hershey's chocolates.

I hadn't learned the language yet, so, in half-German and half-English, I told her I'd brought her a gift.

At first, she looked horrified, then confused. My girlfriend (future wife #1) quickly stepped in and corrected my translation.

Gift in German means poison.

The word I should have used was geschenk.
My Life is Based on a True Story <-- The Story of Lori
The Story of Lori, Chapter 2
Veteran U.S. Army - SSG (Staff Sergeant) - M60A3 Tank Master Gunner
2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2019- 2nd Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change
/ 2024 - Voice Training / 2025 - Passport & IDs complete - Started Electrolysis!

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ChrissyRyan

#283
February 20, 2026, 04:44:55 PM
Drinking beer does not make you smart.  However it has been said that it did make Bud wiser.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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davina61

#284
February 21, 2026, 03:03:41 AM
Members of the anagram society gave each other serpents for Christmas.
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017
GRS 2021 5th Nov

Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever
  • skype:davina61?call
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ChrissyRyan

#285
February 21, 2026, 06:57:12 AM
Would inspecting mirrors be a job you could see yourself doing?

Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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ChrissyRyan

#286
February 21, 2026, 06:57:45 AM
She went to the paint store to get thinner.  It did not work.

Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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Dawn Kellie

#287
February 21, 2026, 10:50:25 AM
If Harry Potter was inconsistent Hagrid would declare " You're a wizzer Harry!"
D. KELLIE Kn.

If you can't laugh at your own mistakes, the Universe will. Why be left out of the joke?
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Lori Dee ✅

#288
February 21, 2026, 06:15:24 PM
What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
My Life is Based on a True Story <-- The Story of Lori
The Story of Lori, Chapter 2
Veteran U.S. Army - SSG (Staff Sergeant) - M60A3 Tank Master Gunner
2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2019- 2nd Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change
/ 2024 - Voice Training / 2025 - Passport & IDs complete - Started Electrolysis!

HELP US HELP YOU!
Please consider becoming a Subscriber.
Donations accepted at: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/SusanElizabethLarson 🔗
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ChrissyRyan

#289
February 21, 2026, 06:42:03 PM



Quote from: Lori Dee on February 21, 2026, 06:15:24 PMWhat was the greatest thing before sliced bread?


The Philips head stone screwdriver tool.  A big advancement over the slotted stone screwdriver tool of ancient times.

Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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ChrissyRyan

#290
February 21, 2026, 06:44:31 PM
Quote from: Lori Dee on February 21, 2026, 06:15:24 PMWhat was the greatest thing before sliced bread?


The wheel and axle.
The inclined plane.
The wedge, not to be confused with a wedgie.
The lever
The screw
And
The pulley system.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee

Lori Dee ✅

#291
February 21, 2026, 08:06:40 PM
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on February 21, 2026, 06:42:03 PMThe Philips head stone screwdriver tool.  A big advancement over the slotted stone screwdriver tool of ancient times.



This made me laugh out loud.

🤣
My Life is Based on a True Story <-- The Story of Lori
The Story of Lori, Chapter 2
Veteran U.S. Army - SSG (Staff Sergeant) - M60A3 Tank Master Gunner
2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2019- 2nd Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change
/ 2024 - Voice Training / 2025 - Passport & IDs complete - Started Electrolysis!

HELP US HELP YOU!
Please consider becoming a Subscriber.
Donations accepted at: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/SusanElizabethLarson 🔗
  • skype:.?call
  •  

ChrissyRyan

#292
February 21, 2026, 08:20:15 PM
Quote from: Lori Dee on February 21, 2026, 08:06:40 PMThis made me laugh out loud.

🤣


I am glad.  Us women should have a good sense of humor.

Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee

Iztaccihuatl

#293
February 21, 2026, 11:18:25 PM
Quote from: Lori Dee on February 21, 2026, 06:15:24 PMWhat was the greatest thing before sliced bread?

The bread slicer?
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Stottie Girl

#294
February 22, 2026, 03:02:43 AM
I was in a Chinese restaurant the other day when a duck came up to me with a rose and
said: 'Your eyes sparkle like the stars'. So I said to the waiter: 'Excuse me, I ordered aromatic duck!!'
A wise man once said don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes, that way when you judge him you're a mile away and you have his shoes!

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on - Billy Connolley
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davina61

#295
February 22, 2026, 03:08:30 AM
A person fell in a vat of Voltarol, they didnt feel a thing.
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017
GRS 2021 5th Nov

Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever
  • skype:davina61?call
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee

ChrissyRyan

#296
March 15, 2026, 09:53:06 PM
Despite the higher cost of living, it remains popular.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee

ChrissyRyan

#297
March 15, 2026, 09:55:00 PM
His boss asked the worker why is he is sick only on workdays.  The worker said that it must be his weekend immune system.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee

ChrissyRyan

#298
March 15, 2026, 09:56:29 PM
She is afraid of using elevators but on a positive note, she is taking steps to avoid them.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee

ChrissyRyan

#299
March 15, 2026, 09:57:44 PM
Water is heavier than butane because butane is a lighter fluid.

Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee
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