How to handle the feelings of shame?

[Anne_lifetrip]

This is the beauty of Susan's

Just a thought and don't ever apologise for expressing your thoughts Tammy, this is a safe place where we all support and celebrate each other.

Many of us have been (or are) in the rollercoaster and we all understand.

The forum might be a first step, but I my therapist also recommended me to get "real life" colleagues and well, working on it. Right now the new found family at Susan's is of great support.

Just go step by step and feel comfortable.
Look for your comfort zone and expand it at your own pace, never forget that your happiness is the key.

[Stottie Girl]

This is the beauty of Susan's
Many of us have been (or are) in the rollercoaster and we all understand.

The forum might be a first step, but I my therapist also recommended me to get "real life" colleagues and well, working on it. Right now the new found family at Susan's is of great support.

Just go step by step and feel comfortable.
Look for your comfort zone and expand it at your own pace, never forget that your happiness is the key.

Your therapist is dead right, you need physical friendship and support as well as Susans.

I have not yet come out but when I do I will be actively trying to gain a supportive female friendship group as best I can through joining hiking clubs, cycle clubs etc etc (if they'll have me!). As supportive and amazing as Susans it cannot take the place of real world friends. I have lost almost all of my friends over the years and my life is all the worse for it. When Sarah is unleashed I intend to rectify the situation!

[tammy753]

So I promised I wouldn't reply but let me explain. I think the problem is I have never outwardly acknowledged my being trans to another person until I started therapy. I won't rehash the past but since telling her the flood gates have been open. I am struggling to hold it all in again. I feel a little better today but I still deal with the self loathing but hopefully therapy will help with that. Yesterday's session was really rough but it did help if it did leave me a sobbing ball on the couch for an hour or so after.

I really appreciate the support and kind thoughts. I know I am a mess right now and my emotions are all over the place but I am working on stuff I have denied for 50 years and its all raw right now.

*I am not a great writer like so many of you so please bare with me.

[ChrissyRyan]

I will say that I do NOT feel comfortable at all when I hear a snicker or a see a perceived held back laugh or hear unpleasant transgender comments that are clearly made to make fun of transgender folk or when I notice these in person. 

I am not ashamed though.

Hugs,

Chrissy

[Stottie Girl]

So I promised I wouldn't reply but let me explain. I think the problem is I have never outwardly acknowledged my being trans to another person until I started therapy. I won't rehash the past but since telling her the flood gates have been open. I am struggling to hold it all in again. I feel a little better today but I still deal with the self loathing but hopefully therapy will help with that. Yesterday's session was really rough but it did help if it did leave me a sobbing ball on the couch for an hour or so after.

I really appreciate the support and kind thoughts. I know I am a mess right now and my emotions are all over the place but I am working on stuff I have denied for 50 years and its all raw right now.

*I am not a great writer like so many of you so please bare with me.

If it makes you feel any better, except for one therapist I have not told a soul bar my mother and, while supportive, she doesn't really understand what it is to be trans. I have nobody to talk to about this stuff and I know what it is like to have it all bottled up inside. When you do get an outlet to talk about this stuff it does just pour out. It is better to release it all if you can Tammy there is absolutely zero shame in it. Sometimes it just pours out of me on an evening alone totally out of the blue and I can weep for hours (I have a friend I met on Susans who usually gets the rough end of my outbusts the poor thing!). I always feel so much better afterwards though. It is far too much to bottle up and keep to yourself, dont stop posting and sharing if it helps you Tammy.

If you don't mind me asking though, why the self loathing?

[Stottie Girl]

I will say that I do NOT feel comfortable at all when I hear a snicker or a see a perceived held back laugh or hear unpleasant transgender comments that are clearly made to make fun of transgender folk or when I notice these in person. 

I am not ashamed though.

Hugs,

Chrissy

Who would feel comfortable Chrissy? I'm glad you do not feel ashamed as there is absolutely nothing to ashamed about. Those who are making those comments are the ones who should be ashamed.