Journey of Jillian and Julie

[Finally Anna]

She said she thinks it's a perfect size for me and something I could wear in November on formal night on our first cruise on Princess Cruises which is a more formal cruise line.

Jillian, everything you wrote is so nice, but what stands out to me is the text I quoted. Your wife is really embracing your journey, and it must be so truly relieving and fantastic for both of you.
💕

[Jillian-TG]

Jillian, everything you wrote is so nice, but what stands out to me is the text I quoted. Your wife is really embracing your journey, and it must be so truly relieving and fantastic for both of you.
💕

Thank you. Yes things have definitely progressed in a positive direction. I can't describe how difficult the journey has been the past 30 years with many low points where it seemed impossible that we would ever be on the same page. I will admit that because we've had many "relapses" where she has reversed things, it does make me cautious about the future. So I take it a day at a time and try not to get my hopes too high.

Despite all the recent progress, I'm very afraid that she will get cold feet again and change her mind. That why I've said we still have a long road ahead of us.

[Jillian-TG]

I received an "interesting" random message on my Facebook profile (it's one I use as Jillian / Julie). I'm open about myself there, the same as I'm open on this discussion forum. I will copy and paste the message below where someone was strongly objecting to me considering myself as transgender and that I should consider myself a cross dresser. But for me it's NOT just about the clothing and "getting dressed up" but rather my gender identity and how I want to live my life on a day to day basis. The primary reason I haven't come out fully (yet!) is out of respect for my wife and my desire to protect and preserve our marriage and family unit. I'm not just playing dress up. But I'm curious about how the rest of you feel about someone like me who has not yet started any HRT and I haven't had any surgery. If you asked me would I like to use HRT and do surgical interventions then yes, but it's a challenge right now for personal reasons. All of my decisions are a trade off because I'm married and I love my wife dearly. And we are trying slowly to find a middle ground.

Here is what the person messaged to me:

Honey your a crossdresser. Not trans. You actually have to be prescribed hormones. To start transtioning. Theirs no im trans and figuring it out. Your a crossdresser like the rest of us. Just to accept it. Anything else is clawing for attention!! You have to do more than grow your hair out. And someone do your makeup. This crap is getting old!!  Dont claim something your not. Have you developed breast from hormones. No. Have you got stretch marks from the hormones you take no. Is your skin soft. Is your chest sore. Do you have scars from surgery. No you dont. Your a crossdresser plain and simple!!! You have not been threw the struggles and trials it takes to be trans. So please label your self correctly!!!

[Devlyn ✅]

Tell them to worry about labelling themselves and to leave your labels to you.

[Maid Marion]

I think it is a complicated personal decision for you to decide.

I have enough confidence to socialize at a popular beach in a hot pink bikini without HRT or surgeries.
I'll also use the ladies room at a nearby seafood shack wearing a T-shirt that doesn't really hide my bikini.

Marion

[Lori Dee ✅]

They have no idea what Gender Identity means. Very often, the ones who scream the loudest clearly show their ignorance.

Gender identity is one's intimate, internal understanding of self as female, male, both, neither, or anywhere along the gender continuum. This sense of self—distinct from the sex assigned at birth—includes a broad array of identities and is a deeply personal facet of each individual's life.

Journeys vary. Some people experience a consistent, lifelong identification with a particular gender. Others may experience shifts over time, reflecting the naturally fluid ways identity can develop. However it unfolds, each person's experience is valid.

https://www.susans.org/index.php?topic=247148.msg2262144#msg2262144

[Finally Anna]

A Deadhead. Ignore and carry on.

Who knows if Jillian is trans? Jillian!
I'm less out than you and I know I'm trans. Would I want the whole kit? Yes. Will I get the whole kit? Most likely not, for the same reasons as you.

[Jillian-TG]

The more I think about it, one cannot use evidence of medical intervention as the criteria of being trans because one should only be prescribed to do HRT or surgery AFTER you are diagnosed as transgender. That person seems to think that without having already done medical intervention you cannot be trans. That would be an unsolvable circular problem if you need a medical diagnosis as being trans in order to get HRT or surgery.

It's definitely a hot topic these days on what the definitions and boundaries are.

[Lori Dee ✅]

The more I think about it, one cannot use evidence of medical intervention as the criteria of being trans because one should only be prescribed to do HRT or surgery AFTER you are diagnosed as transgender.

Once upon a time, transsexual referred to someone who had surgery. Transgender implied pre-op. As we evolve, transsexual has been deprecated, and transgender has become the inclusive term.

Many transgender people start out cross-dressing. They later feel that it doesn't help enough with their dysphoria, and many then become diagnosed as transgender. So here we do not differentiate between one or the other.

Generally speaking, cross-dressing without gender dysphoria is for sexual arousal. Transgender people do it because it makes them feel normal. But as I said, many who start cross-dressing later realize that it is far more than just a phase or fetish. All are welcome here.

[Jillian-TG]

Once upon a time, transsexual referred to someone who had surgery. Transgender implied pre-op. As we evolve, transsexual has been deprecated, and transgender has become the inclusive term.

Many transgender people start out cross-dressing. They later feel that it doesn't help enough with their dysphoria, and many then become diagnosed as transgender. So here we do not differentiate between one or the other.

Generally speaking, cross-dressing without gender dysphoria is for sexual arousal. Transgender people do it because it makes them feel normal. But as I said, many who start cross-dressing later realize that it is far more than just a phase or fetish. All are welcome here.

Thank you. What you said makes a lot of sense.

[Maid Marion]

In my case it is far easier to socialize presenting female.

Marion