work

[Chynna]

Thanks Rana,

I still feel like im practicing reverse discrimenation a lil thou

I do have 1 employee that totally disagrees with me and "my lifestyle" I have had several discussions with her and HR until I finally just said to her " If you have an issue with reporting to a man in a dress...then  you better start seeking new employment"

yeah I down graded myself with the "man in the dress" comment but I was trying to put it in words she could easily comprehend given her narrow mind out look.

Chynna

[taylor]

Chynna,

I think you handled that great! And it was not a put down to yourself, it more like a good slap in her face if you ask me. And she apparently needed one.

Just wondering...what kind of work do you do if you don't mind me asking?

Peace,
Taylor

[Chynna]

Of course I don't mind cutie
Your just to adorable to say NO too!
besides
I'm an open book

I work for a Financial Services Firm
designing and maintaining databases
among my duties includes supervising 2 seperate departments which both use the database apps I design for item processing for about 9 different banks in the US and 2 outside.
In short im a tech geek with a staff

I also volunteer\work at a non-profit LGBT health center. as a transgender youth\adult counselor.
I figured I should put my Bachelors degree in psychology to good use
I have been recently debating going back to school for a M.A. or PH.D. So I can become a therapist\psychologist but its just a thought im foolin around wit.

I have some personnal demons I need to deal with first! >

Chynna

[born2learn]

Chynna,

    Hmm it hard to say. You should pick a person that can get the job done not what he/she is. Like they saying goes, "treat other as you want to be treated. " this mean it should go both ways. Maybe it's just me but, I believe that no matter who you are or what you do on your personal time is up to you. If you work you should work your best to get the job done not bring your personal issus to work and used it against other. My personal hate at work is rumor. Rumor to me is poison. I know that everyone is human and not everyone is good in this world. I think transgender are the one able to work with female and male well cause got a point of view of both side  Feel free to tell me if im wrong.
I dont mind a man in a dress. I just hope you look good in it 
I did see a guy in a dress before but i dont think he a transgender.. He did scare me cause of the way he act and the way he dress. It wasn't like a normal dress or anything. It was like the people in the "Rocky Horror show." I hope i dont affend anyone. If i do im sorry ...
Oh yeah it always good to get a Master or PHD degree cause of high pay and getting the job you want.

goodluck to you

Born

[Chynna]

I believe that no matter who you are or what you do on your personal time is up to you. If you work you should work your best to get the job done not bring your personal issus to work and used it against other.

I agree totally but I have a flip side to that. a lot of times "we" Transgender individuals are past up for employment and\or promotions simply because we are who we are. its happened to me one time definitly confirmed that the only reason I was not offered the position was because I came to the interview as a woman.
So in my twisted little head (& believe you me it's twisted up there! ) I am simply trying to level the playing field a bit or trying to even the odds. I know in my heart & mind i'm being biased but thats a character flaw im willing to accept if I can help someone in our community out. afterall we have enough strikes against us.

or maybe im just a power hungry, opinionated, bossey 


A thought so smooth.... only my therapist knows the difference!

Chynna

[taylor]

There is no question in my mind that jobs are lost due to a persons transitional status.

I think that if I had to choose between two people of equal quality I would pick the person I get a long with best...and to be honest that is not only based on if a person is trans or not. But if I felt I could get a long with both equally well, and they were both as qualified, I admit without any doubt i would go with the trans person over the other person...how else are the numbers ever going to honestly equal out if we don't? There is idealism and then there is reality.

Peace,
Taylor




Posted at: June 07, 2006, 10:03:48 PMChynna ,

thanks for answering my question too by the way... just remember that if you want to work with people you are suppose to have problems lol.... I have never known a therapist that did not need a therapist and I have worked professionally with many! lol

Peace
Taylor

[born2learn]

I wonder How do you tell if that person is a transgender if he/she had everything corrected? I heard that even if a person get hired from the manager who did the interview. The HR got the final words if the person is hired or not.
I do agree that if i get a chance I would sure pick anyone that can get along with too. Sometime life is not that great. We can't get everything we want. 
Sometime I think if i will 10000usd or get 1usd from 10000 people or more. I be so set :p Get all my paperwork and ID done.. then the rest is all downhill :p... I know I'm so silly...

[Chynna]

I wonder How do you tell if that person is a transgender if he/she had everything corrected?

Sometimes another TS can just tell...(not saying I can) There's a ton of questions that I cannot ask (legally) during an interview. Not that i would ask that one anyway.  but I was generally talking about someone who just started to transition or is mid way

Oh Taylor,
I know I have issues but I like to keep them as issues it makes life more fun & interesting!!!!

Chynna

[jan c]

Posted at: June 07, 2006, 10:03:48 PM[/size]Chynna ,

I have never known a therapist that did not need a therapist and I have worked professionally with many! lol

Peace
Taylor

that's what it is all A Bout.
That's a therapists system of belief: "I need therapy, everyone must."

[taylor]

Chynna,

I have had many people from the trans community assume I was an outsider when i went to any type of board meeting ect. it is rather interesting. I have even been asked if i am the press and the person that was the press I suppose they assumed was TS/TG?? lol,...hell i dunno.


Born:  I believe that in answering the question that was posed here, we were basing the answer on if we did know. Would be impossible to ask the question if we could not conclude as such.  Obviously if someone does not know, then how can we make any choice with this as the basis lol.

Peace,
Taylor

[born2learn]

I understand what you all are trying to say.  Just wish It will happen one day. I do feel bad when I hear people make fun of a transgender and Just always pray for the best and maybe one day transgender and gay dont have any problem getting job

What's up with therapist that need a therapist. Maybe that the same as people go to church to tell them their problem. The Father who hear your problem also go to another Father to tell his sin. So If this is true. Who is the head of the therapist?

Sorry a bit off track of topic :p but just wondering...

[Chynna]

What's up with therapist that need a therapist. Maybe that the same as people go to church to tell them their problem. The Father who hear your problem also go to another Father to tell his sin. So If this is true. Who is the head of the therapist?

In a nutshell...........Everyone needs a therapist

LMAO

[jan c]

What's up with therapist that need a therapist. Maybe that the same as people go to church to tell them their problem. The Father who hear your problem also go to another Father to tell his sin. So If this is true. Who is the head of the therapist?

aw I wish you hadna said that
just imagined a vast chain of therapists reaching up to the sky to some ultimate 'therapy god'
that's messed up, now I might need one

[born2learn]

The best therapist is you :p you know why??? cause you know yourself better than anyone :p
Well maybe it a human thing that we need someone to share our problem or need someone to talk to or someone to listen. If not we go crazy lol...
We need to release our stress, pain, pressure, open our eyes, find our weakness, past mistake, past problem, etc... so that we can unload our problem and worry and free ourself :p and if we can't dont that ourself well that why there is a therapist lol...

[HelenW]

The best therapist is you :p you know why??? cause you know yourself better than anyone

I'm sorry but I have to disagree with that one.  I think sometimes we need a neutral observer to see things that we are too emotionally wrapped up in to see ourselves.  One of the most painful realizations that I've had in my life is a recognition of how thoroughly I am able to fool myself, for example, "I'm not transsexual, I'm just a CD'r that is really a woman inside." (Yup, pretty ridiculous, but that's what I thought for many, many, years!)

With a therapist's help we can recognize things like that and then, yes, we do our own therapy once we're awake to the situation - we do the healing and deciding for ourselves.  But the therapist, at least the way I see it, is there to be a guide, an observer and someone who will point out the inconsistencies in how I look at things.  I'm the one doing the healing and he's the one doing the diagnosis, so to speak.

helen

[Rana]

Hi born2learn,
Thinking about what you were saying about therapists & going to see a priest at church, you were talking about the act of confession   That concerns sins and asking for forgiveness for them - trying to put things right.  Sins are a matter for yourself and God, nobody else.  Priests cannot forgive sins - they just "stand in" for God .
I don't go anymore - but the concept is good, there are/will/may be times when it is very important to talk to a neutral disinterested person.  Thats supposed to be part of a priests job description - its carthetic but is not therapy.
Was made to go regularly as a child - had to confess sins, real & imagined - uno, slip the baddies in amongst a crowd of boring petty stuff
Sort of like "Bless me Father have been lazy stupid not helped old ladies across the street etc etc _{bad actions with myself} , not go 2 mass on sunday etc boring cetra"
"What sort of bad actions son?"
(O bugger) like mumble mumble _{playing with myself} mumble
"Dirty Grubby little boy!! - thats 10,000 Hail Marys for you to say, and just hope and pray you dont burn in Hell for eternity"
Just one of those things that made life fun for Catholics.  But what I badly needed was somebody I could have talked to about important stuff like
"Father, I am concerned - I dressed up in girls clothes and makeup, and it felt sort of right - I have had these feelings of wanting to be a girl,  is this wrong? am I gay?  why am I like this"  Say that sort of stuff - no way   it took several decades for me to get my courage up and in all that time ...
Sorry born, rambling a bit off topic.... but therapists (meaning a useful helpful disinterested person)  there wern't many about back when needed

Rana

[stephanie_craxford]

Anytime!

Just don't tell my boss!
It's funny now that I think of it
I myself might be discrimenatory!?
When I have an open position to fill in one of my departments I will consider hiring a Gay or Transgendered person before a "normal" heterosexual (you get the picture) individual. Not as a sole basis for employment but if I had 2 individuals with the exact same qualifications I would offer it to the Transgender or Gay individual first...mmmm does that make me wrong?
Chynna

I'm not sure if that makes you wrong Chynna but if you don't think you are wrong then based on your thinking I would believe that others who employ the same hiring practices would be as right as you where if given two candidates of equal qualifications and they chose a non-GLBT person for the position.

In the company I work for when any hiring is done the interview process always takes place in front of a panel of three where biases are easier to eliminate and tend not to be a factor.  Additionally based on interviews and test scores a list is created and each applicant is advised of how they fared and that they were either the best or they placed second, third, fourth etc.  The top candidate is offered the job, and is advised that it will be for a 3 month probationary period.  The applicant who finished second is also advised of this and asked if they would consider the position if the first chosen didn't work out after the probationary period expired.

Personally, as a manager I believe that any hiring process should include a testing mechanism that would ease the possibility of ties, or who's scores could be used as a tie breaker.  I'm not up on the US labour laws or issues associated with them, but it sounds as though what is being discussed is basically Affirmative action for the GLBT community, please correct me if my assumptions are wrong as I understand that there is big debate over this issue and that it isn't my intent to create a discussion on this.

Wait a second to keep this thread on topic, see this new topic on this issue - Affirmative Action for the Trans Community

Steph

[born2learn]

Hey Everyone,

    Thanks for your reply.

    Helen, your right we do need someone to talk to and guide us; however, that don't happen often.  When I was in highschool. I did see a video about XXY and how these people were different. Even a case of a woman who have everything seem to be normal and one day have an accident in swimming pool end up with doctor telling her she was a man. Even about a young girl born with male part and needed surgery cause she would have active female period when she grow up.
   Maybe I should say, is that we know who we are. We know if we lie to ourself. A therapist can only do so much and it up to us to take ourself to our own path. I'm sorry I think that I'm a bit different cause I go see therapist cause it required for transgender. When I go see my therapist, they just agree with everything i have plan or did. When I was a kid, I knew I was different some how. My grandfather and uncle teach me a lot of things. They teach me that no matter what I do or what my future will be. I must stay true to who I'm even if other people don't agree with me. My teacher teach me  not to go through life trying to be like other but be myself. My real enemy or something I need to over come is myself. Only if I understand who I'm then I can better myself.

Rana, I think everyone of us go through the same thing. Our family can't help us cause they don't know why we are the way we are. I did talk to my family. My dad wasn't much help. You know what, life doesn't come with instruction or answer for every problem. Its up to us to look for the answer and teach other. However, that is never the case. People are afraid of change. Everyone is different in there own way. Everyone is special cause they are different. Maybe we are like this for a reason. I know for sure if I wasn't transgender I wouldn't be able to meet my girlfriend. I wouldn't see how people are being mistreated or even make fun off. You know life is unfair and it's hard. I been good all my life and people take adventage of me and 1 even give me medical problem. I been helping so many people around me. When I needed help no one is there. The more I become successful in life the more people hate me. However, I will never give up being me. My teacher tell me, " A leader is like a parent and the people below you are like your children. You got to work on them like they are clay. In the end result, they are who they are because of you. However, they got to make their own step in life. You can only do so much . The rest is up to them. The only reward is knowing they are better person cause of you and they become successful in life cause of you." so I think a parent can help you only few step of the way and the rest is up to you. Some family support you no matter what. Other just kick you out of the house. No matter what happen you are always your own leader in your road to success and goal in life. I hope I make some sense You know my grandfather and uncle always tell me to stand up and fight.. lol they never teach me how to fight.. Anyway.....
:p the topic was lol if a therapist go to another therapist for help... lol who the head main guy/gal therapist they need to see. for example if therapist B need to go see therapist C who will later see therapist D..  and so on.. so the question is who will other therapist see when they need help..

[Melissa]

Priests cannot forgive sins - they just "stand in" for God .

Have to disagree with you there.

But so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins...." Then he said to the paralytic, "Get up, take your mat and go home."

In other words, anybody can forgive.

The best therapist is you :p you know why??? cause you know yourself better than anyone

Personally, I have helped myself further along mentally than any therapist and so for some people this may very well be true. However, it is always good to have a should to cry on in those hard times.

Melissa

[Rana]

Hey Melissa
We are talking at cross purposes I think.  Anyone can and Should be able to forgive.  But, only God can forgive sins - Priests can through God, not themselves. 

And I agree that while the best therapist is really oneself (provided you can achieve honesty in looking into your own "soul") Yes to be able to have that shoulder to cry on - is essential "

Rana