Quote from: cindybc on October 20, 2008, 07:28:47 AM
Hi GQjoey Don't worry about me I rarely come into the F-M groups I am not usually confrontaional. But it just irritates me when someone makes it sound like, "Hey!" Look at me man!" me big warrior, look at all the mastodon's I killed today with my club. Sorry if offended but this transition journey is not a bed of roses, nore is it like dancing tip toe through the tulips with me game, for either gender dysphoric.
Cindy holds hat with long plume in both hands and bows respectfully then saunters off the stage gracefully.
Cindy
YES THIS. And a lot of "you're not a real man if you don't x" which, due to being CRIPPLED!!!!! I am unable to do. As you provided the work example above--
I know when to swallow the immaturity. I am your typical type-a worker, I take ask questions and take notes when instructed and refer to them to make sure I get it right the first time, I'm enthusiastic, always up for something more to do or learn, etc. And regardless of my personal feelings, my boss is my boss. But I have a husband and child at home and if I give work the attention and energy deserving of employment and a paycheck, I become exhausted, enraged, eventually abusive (yes to my deep shame this is something I have done--NEVER again).
Oh and then there's the physical illnesses (like my renal system failing... getting pneumonia from a simple cold and taking 2 Z-packs in a row and STILL taking 2 months to recover basic functionality). Of course the exhaustion rage above by that time will have already made people around me uncomfortable, so between the two "it's just not working out" is something I've heard more times than I care to talk about.
And of course that revolting justification: I DON'T HAVE TO HAVE TACT OR APOLOGISE, I AM A MAN. That is so much CRAP. Males, especially caucasian males, need to be mindful of privilege and conscientious toward others.
Someone who poses as a role model could be considered downright abusive for forcing bullsh-- standards like that down the throat of one like me who's so early in their journey and has so many other things to contend with. I may not be a butch man, but I DO have the courage (again, lack of sexist language) to admit that 1) There are things I cannot do. 2) My identity is fragile right now. I don't need that kind of push, it'll only crush me.
Ever wonder why the more a man is loud and bullying and insistent, the less he can apologise? Why does that threaten so? Why can't a guy like that "Man it up" (OH MAH GAWD DID I SAY THAT I THINK I DID) and "take responsibility"?
