Are Transsexuals More Successful?

[Carlita]

And having been once a female brained person with a masculine outer shell i would agree that it does bring unforeseen insights...

But in my case running fast was to mask dealing with the 'inner' angst that at all costs I had to keep buried, secret and contained...

A sort of emotional OCDism.... while maintaining the outer facade

In the end if you be a primary TG type – you crack - and then the genie's finally out the bottle... and things just can't go back to business as usual...

SO true!! I am one of those who has been fortunate enough to have a successful career and to have married a beautiful wife (she is the absolute spitting image of January Jones as Betty Draper in Mad Men, if anyone watches that show) created an archetypal 'perfect' family. I'm 100% certain I was hyper-determined to be an almost chichéd husband-and-provider. And I succeeded, but it had two effects ...

1. It trapped me ... my family depended on me to keep bringing home the bacon, which meant staying as I was, and ...

2. I felt and feel like a total fraud, because I know that I am NOT that man and it kills me to keep playing at being that man.

As it happens, I came out to my wife last year and although she was initially very supportive - in words, at any rate, if not in actions - that has essentially killed the marriage. So now I have, like any divorcing guy (because this is one area in which it really does not pay to be male) lost my wife, kids, house and most of the money I ever made.

But oddly enough, that almost frees me to go ahead and transition ...

... because what have I got to lose? And if I'm going to lose everything when I'm UN-transitioned, well, why not go ahead and do what I've always wanted to do ...

Freedom, as they say, is just another word for nothing left to lose ...

[Cruelladeville]

Carlita...

Ironically I had that top MadMen job, worked for one of the most DA&D accolade awarded and Clio clad at Exc Dir level....lol

I lost all to, was fired - the business back in the 1980's was ultra conservative - still is if you work in it at the top-level (like investment banking)...., the budgets are big as is the responsibility.... and snobbery/elitism that goes with it...lol

3 storey georgian town-house I gave up and walked away from to the SO, and only took savings enuff to start me off...

But yep its freeing..... and though it took me a good 10 year to get back to a state of normality, financial, home life, personal life et al... which took me to late thirties...

(The journey was SO WORTH IT!!)... still is

And I take my hat off to anyone that does go all the way with what we have to do...

That's where the guts, drive and determination really shine through...

[Carlita]

Cruella ... I envy you starting in your late twenties/early thirties ... I thought about it so much back then (I'm MUCH older!!) ... But then I found myself with two kids (not quite sure how! ) and family responsibilities, including a non-earning wife, and that's when the doors slammed shut ... But now ...

At least I have an unlined face and I weigh the same now as I did at 25, so all is not totally lost haha

[Jennie]

I have to say that if I did not have GID, I would not have the same abilities I do now. 
GID has always made me strive to be the best at all I do na dI did this I think to keep busy an dtry to forget the pain of GID, if I mentioned all that I know and am good at, and then if someone who knows me read this post, they would know it was me just from all the things I do so well.
I also know that I also see things others do not and think in a way that they do not, GID it has help me a lot but it is something that I would rather not live with, you might say I made GID help me, I figured since I was robbed of so much time when I was younger and ohter things that I decided at a point in my life that I was not going to let it rule me, I was going to do what I wanted and I wanted to do  alot, keep in mind that I never came out to anyone and still have not.  So this worked, now I am middle aged and it seems the GID is getting stronger and I am thinking I cant hid it anymore but I do have so much now that I know I would loose a lot if not all of it if I transition so I need to think about this and plan my transition very carefully so I can succeed at this too.

Jennie

[JessicaH]

The woefully unsuccessful trans women aren't going to have internet access, so any conclusions drawn from sites like this are horribly skewed.

Very good point, Vexing. The super successful ones may not have time to hang out here either but I'm sure there are many fewer of them, by several magnitudes.

[Carlita]

Very good point, Vexing. The super successful ones may not have time to hang out here either but I'm sure there are many fewer of them, by several magnitudes.

To be fair, the super-successful are, by definition, in the minority among cis-gendered people, too ... I guess the question is whether being unusual in one respect (dysphoria) is in any way likely to make a person unusual in respect of professional/financial success, too ... The only way in which I can see it might is that sense of over-compensation that some of us feel or have felt, but that I think would apply more often pre-transition than post.

Of course, there are highly successful post-ops in all sorts of fields, but MTFs are fighting a double prejudice against women AND transsexuals, so they surely have to be very, very determined, or live in very tolerant circumstances to make it to the top.

[Carlita]

Personally, I think my GID make me push harder and aster than any girl or boy. I won several gold medals in athletics as a teen, have 5 university degrees, and I am listed as the Who is Who in science in the world, and the Who is Who in Science in the USA. I know that I am not alone as I know several very successful professionals who happen to have GID. I do not say this to blow "sunshine" on myself but to encourage others to believe in themselves and to push forward. I found that success is mostly due to persistence; never give up
Cheers,
Perlits

Congratulations! From the sound of it, you started out doing what I described, being more determined because of GID. What's interesting - and GREAT! - is that transitioning hasn't held you back. Do you work in the academic side of science? I only ask because I'm wondering if college is one of those environments I described that are tolerant and accepting to difference and diversity of all kinds, thereby enabling you to keep advancing your acreer.

Also, perhaps science, by its rationality and objectivity, is less affected by the identity of the scientist. I mean, it's your results that count. If you're doing good work, it's irrelevant what category of person you are ... And besides - whether boy or girl - you're all united by being geeks!  I'm 100% arts-based myself, so i wouldn't know .. but certainly in what I do, where things are much more subjective, image really matters.

[Carlita]

.  we GID folks perhaps have an advantage because we have both side of the brain "uber" developed.

\

Very good point! I know that as much as my GID burdens me as a person, it's a blessing to me as a writer. Women are constantly telling me how much they like the female characters in my books. Well, ladies, there's a reason for that!

[JessicaH]

I just wanted to say that the OP changed my life in an unimaginable and incredible way. You see, I originally PM'd Melissa instead of posting to the thread and the initial contact was like a match to gasoline. Thank you Melissa for being the most wonderful friend that I ever could have imagined and just being you. It almost brings me to tears when I think about it all so I will just say that the last 7 months of my life have been the best 7 so far. I love you and I can't wait to see you in New Orleans on friday night!!!!!   

[Amazon D]

What is really sucess?  Thats the question that will make or break your life. Some are afraid to lose their money while others are poor but rich in spirit. I had money but then i gave it away helping trans with safe housing and then God gave me a veterans pension because God knew i needed something. That was success for me to get that answer from above not the monthly checks i get. To me finding a real meaning to life is what sucess is about. I can passover to the next world knowing where i am going. Many fear leaving this world and fear the loss of money. Right now i live in a house with no plumbing and i burn firewood and grow much of my food and cann much of it too. My taxes are low less than 700.00 total a year. My electric cost are 14.00 a month and my propane and firewood come to maybe 30.00 a month. I hand wash my clothes and body and i caregive my 88 yr old mother and wash her too. I am over 14 yrs post op which i paid for by saving and helping recovering addicts for many yrs with safe housing so they could recover easily. I too was recovering and built those homes from scratch. I once had 6 mortgages and 35 recovering people staying at my buildings. I was cash poor but rich with people whose lives were changing. No i am not all that perfect i had a terrible sex drive and was a letch and hated my sex drive and transitioning took it away and i have been so very very happy ever since. I also got great results transitioning with great depth and passing but i am a celibate and never liked men to date. However, i am happy and see each day as a ocean and i am riding the surfboard of life never knowing where the waves will take me. My life has been a story many say i should write down and sell but i chose to live it. I hope people here will see that life here on earth is but a drop in the bucket of our true existence
hugs Danielle / Danie

[Steph]

I have read that many girls are successful pre-transition and even post-transition, but I really think that there are more girls who barely made it week to week.

You never hear about them until they are attacked, killed or commit the big checkout.  Those are the girls that have been working the hardest.

With respect, while I agree there are many who barely make it, I have to disagree with your point that

Those are the girls that have been working the hardest.

The vast majority of TS must endure the agony of transition at some point.  I know there are those who, shall we say "Have that old silver spoon to fall back on" but nevertheless I think it's safe to say that we all worked the hardest.  Just saying...

[Pinkfluff]

In terms of money and worldly power it depends on how much discrimination you face, what kind of resources you had available before seeking treatment, the area you happen to be in, and probably a few other factors. Save for an uncle who was a doctor, I'm the only one in my family that I know of to get a graduate degree, and even those who went to college weren't in anything like engineering. Of course, no one seems to want to hire someone with this condition. Honestly I think even making it through life at all with such adversity right from the beginning is more successful than some people.

But I agree that it really comes down to a person's own definition of success. I don't really care if I'm ever rich and famous. Sure it'd be nice, and I think I'd be a good person for it because I'd like to help others, but I don't need it. As long as I face each day and each battle with honor, never giving in to those who corrupt me or get rid of me, then I say that is a success, and I know that the Gods will be waiting for me when it is all over. How you live is alot more important than how many digits are in your bank account.

[melissa42013]

I just wanted to say that the OP changed my life in an unimaginable and incredible way. You see, I originally PM'd Melissa instead of posting to the thread and the initial contact was like a match to gasoline. Thank you Melissa for being the most wonderful friend that I ever could have imagined and just being you. It almost brings me to tears when I think about it all so I will just say that the last 7 months of my life have been the best 7 so far. I love you and I can't wait to see you in New Orleans on Friday night!!!!!   

Love you too babe. What a crazy ride this has been. Hard to believe we have spent a month of the last seven months together. Crazy how things worked out to turn our greatest fear and weakness into our greatest gift and asset. We have both done so much for each other it is hard to put it to words. And our lives are just starting.

Had it not been for this post and your reply "way back then" the beauty of this would not have started to unfold. The momentum is building and the future holds nothing but opportunity for both of us. Love you and can't wait to see you again in a few days.

So for those of you reading this and saying "WTF" let me assure you that the the full story will never be told because you would never ever believe us. And yes, god really does have a great sense of humor, you just have to be willing to laugh at yourself! LOL....
-M

[melissa42013]

Oh, almost forgot to update the topic. Back when I wrote this I was referring mostly to success in a career, basically achieving more than other people with normal skills drive and ambition. I do believe success is more than that and am quite happy NOW with who I am and where I am going, my family, wife and my BFF. Jessica..

That said since this topic was posted we started another company and it is now producing fruit which is paying for the "business trip" to New Orleans this weekend for us and our families and starting after that our laser hair removal and ultimately the whole transition process and support our families.

So, this all came about from this original post and is in doing well in large part because of what we learned of ourselves because we were born trans. And nope, we weren't born rich,In fact the exact opposite was true. I am thankful every day for the gifts this whole process I once thought was gods biggest comic curse has given me.

And no it is not easy. Today was a 17hr day and I just finished dinner and will be up at six am to do it again but I am now grateful for every min of it.....

So if you have the passion don't die with the music still inside you.....

[madirocks]

I'd say quite successful for my age. I've accomplished more than what most twice my age have, which is likely why I have a lot of older friends. However, I have not transitioned yet.

I'm glad you had posted this because it has been on my mind a lot lately. I've pushed the boundaries in everything I have done, but most of what I have done wasn't really following what I wanted to do. I usually stand out in the crowd, and am promoted fairly quickly and wind up leading in just about every situation I am a part of. But it has begged the question, will I be this successful when I'm doing what I enjoy? I think most certainly yes. In every business I've held, or every awesome job I've worked, at some point eventually the dysphoria would hit me very very hard. That usually causes me to break down emotionally and give up on everything... Eventually I pull myself back together, and start all over again. I find a new business venture, or start a new career and push the boundaries all over again. It's rather interesting to note that my parents even notice this. Just yesterday my father said he's noticed that I go in a cycle, and in everything I do eventually I become extremely unhappy and he has no clue why 

My reason for being here at Susan's was because the dysphoria was hitting me pretty hard again and I'm fed up of it. My hope is that transitioning will help me to be more successful, settle in one place, and live a more fulfilling and happy life.

[jillian]

I guess I am what you would call successful, but being trans has nothing to do with it. 
I worked my self to the bone to get where I am at, male or female, anyone who worked as hard and dilligently as myself would likewise be successful.

I guess the real question that is being asked is: does being trans effect your personality in such a way that one has a natural disposition that favors success?  I think that is an attempt at stereotyping, and that in and of itself goes against what we really are, at least at this point in time.

For the record, hard work runs in my family, and everyone in my family who carries this trait, is successful. (the hard work trait) I find it difficult to believe everyone in my family is trans. Do I think it is impossible? No.

[Keaira]

I'm not very successful at anything. But that doesnt hold me back.
But I think that my being Trans did give me a drive that was something others did not. I'm self taught in many areas, such as graphic design, computer animation, PC repair, etc. I'm trained in welding, fabrication and welding. I learned all these because they were interesting to me. It was also my way to try and not deal with my one nagging issue. If my mind was too busy it wouldn't wonder back to thoughts of being in the wrong body. In October I'm taking a class through Stanford University on Artificial Intelligence. I'm taking it mainly to see if I am any more successful now that I'm not feeling wrong anymore. My parents had a psychologist test me when I was 11 because I flat out refused to do any more classwork at school. They tell me that the Psychologist said I was extremely bright and with an emotional maturity of someone 2 years older. So maybe my only problem will be boredom?

However, 2 of my college classmates, and both were my best friends, are not in a technical field and still not married. They spend Friday night at the pub drinking.  Now that I think about it, my ex girlfriend from Highschool said I always talked about moving to the US. So I guess that's been a big success. Oh, and going full time at work. I'm living the dream there. ^_^

[Jenny_B_Good]

The woefully unsuccessful trans women aren't going to have internet access, so any conclusions drawn from sites like this are horribly skewed.

Too true... As also pointed out in a good book called " The uninvited dilemma " - Author noted that most MTF's had a higher education and above average intelligence, but concluded that the educated were probably more likely to take part and see the benefit in such surveys, hence the outcome.

[AbraCadabra]

The simple question is: WHAT IS SUCCESS?!?

If we talk MONEY and only that, it may just not be IT.

If you had a successful transition and used most of it for just THAT... would that be unsuccessful?

If you managed to be who you really are and now comfortable in your skin for the first time in your life - after all is said and done - is that successful.

My answer to the latter be one resounding YES!

There are 'money successful' girls that de-transitioned just to keep that money-success --- and then decided for the BIG check-out.
As are plenty of cis-folks that lost THAT sort of success.
Down-sizing is one hell of a >-bleeped-<-job, I know!

Having lived the last 10 years in a nice house all paid off, with cars, holidays, lovers, cloths, dining out, super HIFI, music, etc. etc. etc. is THAT successful?

Nope! Just living up to one's acceptable standards (at the time) and clinically depressed to boot.
Making $2000 tax-free a day and being clinically depressed is that success? F*ck NO!!

Now it's someone else's turn.

Food for thought?
Axelle
PS: ... if i ever get out of here, all i need is a pint a day, give it all to charity...
"Band on the Run" Wings, and one of those songs that made ME think --- um.

[JessicaH]

Axelle, I will be landing in Johannasburg around 6 weeks or so and would love to meet you.  PM me and we can try to coordinate things. I will only be in town for a day or two then I will be going to Pemba, Mozambique then Uganda and Kenya.