Usually familiar knocks are sound from the back door but today I got a knock from the front. When I opened the door, what were strangers..is my half sister and her family. I wasn't introduced first though, she asked for my sister so I assumed she was related to her boyfriend and I left to go fetch her. As my sister stepped outside I sat back down continuing whatever I was doing. And, suddenly my sister came bursting in, telling me to go say hi. I of course asked who it was and got the answer I least expected.
An outburst of confusion stewed with uneasiness engulfed my head. I approached them with a smile and greeted her husband along with her three children and finally her. My mother had me sit in front of her and I listened to the to the best extent of my knowledge ( I for one am not really good at understanding spanish) The stories they'd talk about of course dealt with superstitious and of course my father.. in fact a lot of the stories had to do with my father. Most of them dealt with of course his selfish acts of lust, abandonment, and money. I learned so many things..He even told my half-sister that if she ever even went to go visit us that we'd kick her out. I always looked up to my father, I was praised by him as a child but to look up to such a liar.. disgusted me.
I haven't even come out to my mother about being trans. My plans were to gather as much hate as possible ( I know this sound extremely selfish but Its the only thing I could think of to move on) and abandon my family to go transition elsewhere. But today was an eye opener, I never realized how blind I was. What did took guts..I can't abandon my family. Its too heartless, but I don't want to be a burden..
I'm lost, I'm stuck..I dont know what to do.
