How do you feel ?

[espo]

Parents like to remember their kids as being kids. I dont have kids but I have older siblings (like way older) and all the pictures they have in frames are when they were young.  I cant speak for Julian or Caseyy's parents of course but maybe its not meant to be cruel.

[Julian]

It might not be. But then again, my grandparents have pictures of their children and grandchildren in various stages of life, from childhood through adulthood. I can't say what the intentions of Caseyy's family are. Though if there's one thing I'm learning, it's that it's hard for parents. They're probably just attached to their little girl. I know mine are. I spend a lot of time feeling like I killed Julia by coming out to them.

In other news, I'm getting really pissed off at a ball of yarn. Don't get me wrong, it's wonderful yarn. I'm just having an inappropriately hard time figuring out where to stick my crochet hook.

[RebeccaFog]

Pretty good today, I feel like the manic I can be is under control.
I am trying to set up a group for Multiple Gender people on Face Book
I am not any good, in fact I'm lousy at setting something like this up.
If any of you Androgyn people wish to help, it would be greatly appreciated.
If left to myself, it take a longer time and probably have a lot of mistakes.
Thanks again!
Ativan

Mistakes? Isn't it just a matter of clicking on some prompts? Just asking, I haven't done any group stuff.

[RebeccaFog]

I know it's my cure too. I just don't have any way of financing it, and my parents won't help out financially until I can pay for it myself. Paradox. They won't even let me apply for loans or anything. I did anyway, but if I get it they'll do their damnedest to stop me. I guess I don't understand why they won't help or let me do it on my own. But they want me to do it on my own. They claim to be all supportive, then hold back every little thing I actually need.

In other news, my partner isn't willing to talk about it with me anymore either. I'm down to seeing the person I pay to talk to me, for 45 minutes a week. If I feel like ->-bleeped-<- at a time that's not Tuesday at noon, well, I'm outta luck now.

Well, if you haven't found me annoying and deleted me from FB yet, you can PM me, I check it pretty often. I'll get you my e-mail.

What Emma said goes for me too.


I came out of down period about 2 weeks ago. When I'm there, I wait them out. I can't kill myself because I have responsibilities (which, of course, I would not have if I killed myself). It's a responsibility that I take seriously despite the high or low of my mood.


As per the topic of this thread; I feel middling. Not great and not entirely miserable. I wish I could use my ativan to enjoy myself now and then but, for some reason, I am using it as directed. Maybe I am skirting a guilt. I would feel guilty if I abused the meds my doctor gave me. I wouldn't have an issue if someone just gave them to me.

I feel middling to guilty today.

[RebeccaFog]

Not that what your parents are doing is right or good for your health, but I figure their reasoning is probably that they're in denial and this is a way to "test" if you really "want" it...if you're willing to save up the cash.

I thought similarly. Maybe your parents think they can wait you out on it. That you'll get bored or become distracted or simply change your mind. Try not to let them get to you.

[MarinaM]

Oh what some of my peers can never understand...

[Julian]

I thought similarly. Maybe your parents think they can wait you out on it. That you'll get bored or become distracted or simply change your mind. Try not to let them get to you.

Could be. Maybe they really do think it's a phase. Strangely, thinking and typing that doesn't make me angry. Just kind of, huh. Kind of like I've never thought about it before, even though I have. I've experienced this for the last five years, but they haven't. They think it's new.

[Julian]

In other news, I'm seeing a real gender therapist tomorrow, eep eep!

And the other day I was at a GLBT community center that professed to have gender-neutral restrooms. False. They're 'male-identified' and 'female-identified' and I'm even less sure which one to use now.

[espo]

They're 'male-identified' and 'female-identified' and I'm even less sure which one to use now. Julian


That made me laugh ....thanks 

[caseyy]

You could just alternate between the two?

That's hilariously stupid though, that they think it makes the washrooms "gender-neutral." Wtf? More like biologicalsex-neutral...and even that's problematic.

[Julian]

Maybe there really are gender-neutral ones somewhere in the building, just not the ones I was pointed to? I'm kind of holding out for that. It's a big place.

[caseyy]

I hope so. My university campus only has one gender neutral washroom that I'm aware of, and it's for disabled people and it has no lock. =/ You'd think it'd be more important for it to have a lock when someone might need help going to the washroom.

[RebeccaFog]

Maybe there really are gender-neutral ones somewhere in the building, just not the ones I was pointed to? I'm kind of holding out for that. It's a big place.

Yeah, it's probably a restroom for disabled people and it can be referred to as gender neutral because it already is. But if a disabled person catches you coming out of there, you'd better run. Larry David keeps getting busted by them on 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'

If the disabled person is in a chair, push them out of it and use it for your escape. This will either make you a hero, or put you on the FBI's most wanted list.

[caseyy]

My tummy has been growing hairs. Not super visible, thick, or dark hairs, but there are a lot more than I've ever had before. It's strange, but oddly pleasing. I have a feeling it means that on T I'll be a hairy beast like my dad though, ick.. I'll have to lose my chub because if I look in the mirror and see him I'd probably die.

[ativan]

To old.

[Joeyboo~ :3]

Horrible.

[Lepidoptera]

Kind of hopeless.

[ativan]

stickey

[Julian]

I feel like Julian isn't my name any more than my birth name is. Started doubting myself when faced with a bunch of forms with "preferred name" spots. Left them all blank.

My gender therapist told me that if they did surgery like they do hormones (informed consent, with a consultation to make sure it's the right choice), I'd have easily "passed". Wish that meant something, since she doesn't write letters. My other therapist can, though.

Why are GLBT health centers filled with condom bowls when most "regular" ones aren't? Most everyone has sex. Just one of those things that perplexes me.

There should be more free condoms in the world.

[ativan]

At the univercity health center they just started to have them displayed at the front counter, It's like a big bowl for halloween candy, but instead its all these wonderful different colored dondoms. Statistics shouw a dispropotionate higher likelyhood of HIV among transgerender people.

I would sign off, but it'd probably be a violation of some sort. Just writning the above made me wonder.