This Facebook status from one of my friends. He posted it some time ago but I always enjoy it.
"As a sex positive feminist, I encourage you to masturbate as much as you want.
"But don't watch porn. Porn objectifies women. Be sure to ask for consent before fantasizing about someone. In fact, don't think about anything. Just sit in the corner and repeat the phrase "I am a cis-scum patriarch" until you reach your fourth orgasm. Always wear a condom, a non-latex glove, a dental dam in your mouth, and an assortment of elbow pads, because you can never be too careful. Keep your clothes on in case someone walks in the room and feels uncomfortable. Don't use any lubricant unless you can confirm it contains organic ingredients. Don't move too fast or you'll startle yourself. Keep a hardcover copy of Pride and Prejudice in your back pocket. And above all, have fun!"
