How can you be transsexual if you don't want sex reassignment surgery?

[Jamie D]

Can you just not come to the ftm board and say messed up things about our surgeries?  Thanks.

There is an old TS adage that states, "It is more difficult to make a pole than a hole."

We must recognize there are shortcomings with all cosmetic surgeries.  Perhaps the future lies in genetic engineering, and the ability to grow our own organs.

The chromosomes are there.

[Edge]

and the ability to grow our own organs.

Last I heard, the possibility was getting closer.

[wheat thins are delicious]

Sorry, but a lot of *biological* men (note that I didn't say all)are highly visual creatures and know what they want and ftm surgery is not there *YET* (I'm sure someday it will be) and neither is MTF surgery (in terms of depth and *feel* things like a uterus the surgery leaves something to be desired.)

Not helping the case.

[Adam (birkin)]

Sorry, but a lot of *biological* men (note that I didn't say all)are highly visual creatures and know what they want and ftm surgery is not there *YET* (I'm sure someday it will be) and neither is MTF surgery (in terms of depth and *feel* things like a uterus the surgery leaves something to be desired.)

OK, so I do not discuss an awful lot of things with cismen about their sex lives, but I am 99% sure that the uterus is not part of the sexual act. Lol. Unless the penis is going through her cervix.

Also, I have met a few gay men through my old job, and quite a few of them either have dated FTMs, or know someone who has dated an FTM. And they never seemed to have a problem with it at all.

[Rena-san]

I am not transgendered, nor am I a transsexual. I am simply a woman who is inventing her gender expression for herself for the first time. I'm coming in upon my womanhood and enjoying all the ups and downs that come with the journey.

I don't like the term "trans" it means to cross, like transatlantic--cross the Atlantic. I prefer the term invent. It literally means to "come in upon."
I'm not transitioning. I'm inventing. I've never been a man. I've always been a woman. Now, if I decided one day I wanted to be a man, then maybe I'd be transitioning. 

[Sly]

Personally, I would be a lot more excited about bottom surgery if there were better results.  Even though I don't exactly love what I have, I'd rather keep it than have expensive and painful surgery to have something that doesn't look or function much like the real thing.  I'm also finding that the growth and extra sensitivity from being on T is making it easier to enjoy what I've already got.

[Adam (birkin)]

There are a lot of reasons why some people don't have SRS. And while there are some "->-bleeped-<-s", there are also a lot of guys who honestly don't care if a woman has a penis, and wouldn't see her any differently than a ciswoman.

[Arch]

Yeah, gay men can be a bit...ehh when it comes to ftms. Most of them are totally cool with mtf's (they think cause we get to enjoy straight men  ) , but many wouldn't date ftm's and how can you blame them? Even if an ftm has had bottom surgery it still doesn't look quite *natural* where mtf's can be post-op and it wouldn't be evident.

I've seen some pretty spectacular, natural-looking results. It's what I'm hoping to get myself someday. If I get the job I want in a few years, I can get SRS covered or mostly covered.

Frankly, I myself wouldn't be particularly interested in dating an FTM even if he had had a very successful phallo. I mean, I would try to keep an open mind, but one turnoff is...well, at the present moment, I feel that there is no substitute for a fully functional, nature-made penis. I love the way it behaves, reacts, and seems to have a mind of its own. So, in that respect at least, I'm a lot like the men I hang out with.

So I probably wouldn't date me, and I would understand if someone didn't want to date me, even after phallo.

[Arch]

Also, I have met a few gay men through my old job, and quite a few of them either have dated FTMs, or know someone who has dated an FTM. And they never seemed to have a problem with it at all.

I hang out with an older crowd, and I know of only one man who met an FTM for a date. Apparently, the cis guy practically ran out of there before getting to know the trans guy. And that's the experience one of my gay trans acquaintances has had as well. But I don't think A4A is the best testing ground.

[Ave]

I hang out with an older crowd, and I know of only one man who met an FTM for a date. Apparently, the cis guy practically ran out of there before getting to know the trans guy. And that's the experience one of my gay trans acquaintances has had as well. But I don't think A4A is the best testing ground.

lmao I <3 that you know abuot A4A.

[Arch]

lmao I <3 that you know abuot A4A.

Honey, I've been steeped in gayness for decades. I know things my GAY friends don't know, much to my surprise. And most of them are older than I am.

No wonder nobody suspects me of being anything but a typical cisgender gay man. Now, if only I could learn to swish properly...that would be the icing on the c***.

[Ave]

Honey, I've been steeped in gayness for decades. I know things my GAY friends don't know, much to my surprise. And most of them are older than I am.

No wonder nobody suspects me of being anything but a typical cisgender gay man. Now, if only I could learn to swish properly...that would be the icing on the c***.

yes daughter, you have to master the swish!

Although it depends, I don't know how west coast gays are

And I've only been steeped in gayness since my early teens, I suppose I'll have to now live vicariously through the chelsea queens that I know and love

[Jamie D]

You two are soooooo bad

[Ayden]

That is just silly. You are not transsexual if you do not want the sex change. You are either genderqueer or just transgender. Transgender= intersex indivduals, transsexuals, and qenderqueers.

People want different things out of life. Just because someone doesn't get a complete surgical reassignment for whatever reason doesn't have a bearing on their identity. Your definition doesn't apply to everyone, and I am sure a lot of folks don't agree with your reasoning. We are a more diverse group than our labels, which is part of what makes it such an interesting community.

There is an old TS adage that states, "It is more difficult to make a pole than a hole."

We must recognize there are shortcomings with all cosmetic surgeries.  Perhaps the future lies in genetic engineering, and the ability to grow our own organs.

The chromosomes are there.

This just seemed so appropriate for how I am feeling today.  I dunno why, but it certainly made me chuckle, thanks Jamie.

There are some great results out there. They just cost a lot more than most folks have and for some people it just isn't a realistic goal.

[AbraCadabra]

A very relevant question (to me too).

Rephrase that just a little: "How can you be transsexual if you don't want sex reassignment?

Well how in deed?

Lifestyle?
You better be kidding! SERIOUSLY, very seriously.

Just saying,
Axx

[Ave]

A very relevant question (to me too).

Rephrase that just a little: "How can you be transsexual if you don't want sex reassignment?

Well how in deed?

Lifestyle?
You better be kidding! SERIOUSLY, very seriously.

Just saying,
Axx

huh?

[justmeinoz]

There are as many answers to this question as there are people it applies to.  What makes a man or a woman. It certainly is not just a bit of tissue. 
The whole question sounds like the sort of thing Gatekeepers ask too many of us.  SRS is pretty well irrevocable, so for many the whole idea of SRS is just too daunting to face.
Lets be a bit kinder to each other I say.

Karen.

[dalebert]

Why people can't just let me be who I am, I'll never know.

Oh, wow. That's a lot of crap coming at you from a lot of different directions. I feel for you, Arch.

I'm going to venture a guess and say it's because they are troubled by their own doubts about themselves and the decisions they're trying to make and they are looking to others to validate them. You making different decisions, wanting different things, expressing yourself differently--those who love themselves can better appreciate the diversity in others but these are all threats to a desperately insecure person. It's like someone who was raised under certain religious beliefs that they find themselves questioning later in life. They feel under tremendous pressure to retain those beliefs. There is a lot of fear associated with the doubts they're starting to have. So they start surrounding themselves with people who share their beliefs. They start evangelizing to convert others to their same beliefs. It's a desperate attempt to shore up one's own insecurities. Such a person desperately needs confirmation and validation from others for their choices.

[dalebert]

Any cisgendered man's worst nightmare is losing his dick.

A much worse nightmare that I actually (unfortunately) can't help thinking about sometimes is getting a horrible facial disfigurement, like from a car accident or a psycho on bath salts. At best, I'd probably become a total social recluse and just live a virtual life online. At worst, I'd probably kill myself. My prediction is the latter within a fairly short period of time, though obviously I couldn't know unless it actually happened. I've actually ended up in conversations stimulated by some shocking story in the news where guys are talking about the hypothetical of losing some or all portions of genitals and yes, I heard one guy say he'd kill himself, but the answer was very curious to me. 99% of my life is not my sex life, and even that part, I feel I would adjust and it would still be largely salvageable. Meanwhile, I could still go out and enjoy most of the stuph I'm enjoying now and it wouldn't change any of it. Would it suck? Of course. Is it the most nightmarish thing imaginable to me? Nowhere near.

Meanwhile, I don't think it's even fully analogous to most guys here. If I merely lost my penis in an accident, I'm assuming pleasure-receptive nerves are just gone. That's quite different from having other than my ideal size & shape of genitalia but where pretty much the same nerves are there in some form.

[Kitty_Babe]

Huhmm "gender queer" is a very ambiguous word.. could apply to anything that disturbs the natural nature of the gender roles as they are traditionally played out. Transexual to me means transitional sex. Your neither totally one or the other, and have the mind and body of two different parts that are not in harmony with each other. I am not presuming what to tell you that you are, you are all individuals and sexual identity is very complexed, and can't always be dismissed as a "label". If you are comfortable in the state of mind and body you are in, then to me your fine as you are.

Labels are always hurtful, even the word queer which generally applies to us all. From a stright cis persons perspective, much of the time. I really wouldn't get hung up on words, they are flawed and dont always accurately describe who you are as a person, and in your mind.

Catherine x <3