What have people done when they figured out they were androgyne?

[ativan]

I haven't figured out I'm androgyne, but I do understand I have a non-binary gender identity.

So this has been at times like being in a beautiful meadow in the sunset after years of walking in a black tunnel, and at times like wandering around lost in a huge forest at night. I don't know what anybody else feels and I am even more full of questions than before, but at least I know now some of the reasons why I've always felt so "wrong", like me and I don't fit together.

Understanding that you have a non-binary gender is what is important.
The many terms never have a 'good' fit, they tend to overlap in ways that one wouldn't expect and are constantly evolving for any individual.
The term Androgyn is used as a blanket term on this forum in somewhat of a 'traditional' aspect.
It works as such, many non-binaries relate to it in one way or another, as with many of the descriptions and terms used.

What is important is that you can find the answers to your questions.
And to possibly offer answers that may apply to others questions.
These always lead to ever more questions and answers.
For many, that can bring that 'me and I' ever closer together.
A fine tuning of your sense of self.
That alone is quite an achievement in itself.
Evolving always is.

Ativan

[aleon515]

It's great when new people come around and resurrect old threads that could use a dusting off and be reused. And here is one of them.   Of course, I am the OP, but that doesn't matter really. I think the term "androgyne" is used in this forum is not one that I particularly like. The reason is that to me it sounds ugly, just the word (sorry my Aspy nature, I suppose.) I also feel it is too close to the word "androgynous" which has a meaning that can apply to people who do not identify as non-binary. I agree with the idea that your identification with the idea of non-binary is what is important here.

I've done more now since I posted this. I present male (though very few people would think I am one) and I started going to the transgender center in my city. I have already been to three groups or so and started seeing the director. We talk about once a week, though it isn't exactly a formal therapy relationship. He is not a therapist, but I feel it is therapeutic. (I've also finished a few books.)

--Jay Jay

[ativan]

Wow! Ativan, you really said all this. Are you really a bipolar narcissist with antisocial personality?
You got to watch out as I tend to take things rather literally.

Yes.
NOS is Not Otherwise Specified.
I have to deal with bouts of PTSD that come from several different events/times in my life.
Bullheaded and rarely back down.
This has negative repercussions in and to my posts at times. lol.
The PTSD has raised it's ugly and evil head once again. It's mainly why there has been a lack of posts lately.
IRL, at times like this, most people will avoid me.
Today is a better day. Just riding out a mental hurricane of negativity.
It happens, never any rhyme or real reason.
One event can lead to an explosion of reality and past events simultaneously occupying the same space in my mind.
I lived in and participated in very violent environments during my twenties.
It was the peak of my adrenaline junky days.

I meant to answer your question back when you posted it, just realized I hadn't in looking back in this thread.
Ativan

[Phoeniks]

It's great when new people come around and resurrect old threads that could use a dusting off and be reused. And here is one of them.   Of course, I am the OP, but that doesn't matter really. I think the term "androgyne" is used in this forum is not one that I particularly like. The reason is that to me it sounds ugly, just the word (sorry my Aspy nature, I suppose.) I also feel it is too close to the word "androgynous" which has a meaning that can apply to people who do not identify as non-binary. I agree with the idea that your identification with the idea of non-binary is what is important here.

I get a feeling of ugliness from 'androgyne', too - it could have something to do with my Aspie traits It would always be nice to have one term that defines one aspect of you, but if I've learned something this far, it's that I never fit into the nice and easy terms and binarities. Not that I would like to, either, but it would just be so easy to use existing definitions and not having to make your own all the time.

[foosnark]

Relief.

Research.  Some books, a lot of websites, including this one, some friends.  That's ongoing.

Some stress and fear and self-loathing concerning changing my presentation to better represent my gender.  Ultimately that cooled off and I am not trying to disguise myself... mostly.  I do wish for more freedom of expression, but I know that there is no outfit I can wear that will make others recognize what I am -- especially when I can't even explain it to myself.

Some confusion and disappointment that I can't pin things down more.  I can rate statements like "I wish my body had breasts" (not really) or "I feel like a girl" (kinda) or "I identify with womanhood" (no) or "I am masculine" (no) but put them all together and it doesn't lead to a coherent identity.  I think it's because they're all statements about binary gender, and that well is poisoned.

Continuing evolution.  I went from knowing there was something "girl-brained" about myself, to wondering if I should go MtF and was simply afraid to, to considering myself gender-fluid, then androgyne, then maybe agendered.  Currently I'm having another love affair with physics and cosmology, and applying that thinking to gender in a way that says different models each have their own utility but none of them are capital-t Truth.

[VelvetBat]

I first did research. Researching about non-binary genders, about myself, about (partly) transitioning, about transgenders...
Because I strongly want to have my breasts and uterus removed and have a lower voice and male fat distribution, I also spend some time figuring out if I am androgyn or if I am more like a feminine transguy.
I tried to find stories from other people about their non-binary trans* experience, watched some youtube channels, signed up at some forums.
Before I faced the fact that I am androgyn, I was already seeing a therapist for my depressions and Asperger's, so I talked about the gender thing with her too.
Came out to friends and parents
Asked friends and therapist to call me by a different name (legally I can't change it yet untill I have my uterus removed in this country), still have to inform my parents about it (but they aren't really supportive, so I am still hesitant to tell them).
Signed myself up at the gender clinic so that I can transition into a body that feels come comfortable/better to me.
Started to get some guy's clothes into my wardrobe
Thinking about how androgynous I want my appearance to be
Started feeling more comfortable in my skin after coming out, feeling much better, much more relaxed, much more myself.
And generally, a lot of thinking.

[Androgynous]

I smiled as I was being my self as I was full of harmony from the combination of the feminine and masculine in me, Its a beautiful recognition. Then I begin to study the roots and history of Androgynous and Wow was I amazed at the history and how far back going all the way to the very beginning i reached. "Androgynous"  is not a sexuality it's a way of life be yourself. Androgynous is 1, Androgynous is everything in the organic world manifesting both genders–there is always the Masculine present in the Feminine form, and vice versa #Duality. Androgynous is the mind containing both a male and female part, and for "complete satisfaction and happiness," the two must live in harmony. The androgynous mindŠtransmits emotion without impedimentŠit is naturally creative, incandescent and undivided ,Shakespeare is a fine model of this. remember that androgyny does not imply a total absence of gender, complete fusion that obliterates any gender-consciousness =frees the mind. A good cooperation of the dual energies would create positivity and prevent imbalanced emotions from emerging. #BeHappy. Happiness is a main characteristic of the androgynous flow. And those who hold such a flow are skilled in being happy. #BeHappy. Quotes From the lovely Virgina Wolf and Samuel Taylor Coleridge "The truth is, a great mind must be androgynous. 1 September 1832." meaning the unification of the left side of the Brain and the unity of the right side of the Brain gives you the complete satisfaction of Happiness.Have a great day.

[cynthialee]

Although I am not an androgyne, my hersband is.

What did ze do?
Took a new name.
Started cross sex hormones.
Adopted new pronouns.
Started dressing more to hir own desires and less of what society dictates is right.
Became a member of the local and online transgender/transsexual comunity.