What Made You Both Happy and Unhappy at the Same Time Today?

[Sephirah]

Had a psychiatrist there, she tried all that. Try as I might to listen to her I could not.

This may be of some help, hon.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/phobia_symptoms_types_treatment.htm

Particularly the part about treatment.

[Lauren5]

This may be of some help, hon.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/phobia_symptoms_types_treatment.htm

Particularly the part about treatment.

I was more or less told all this by the psychiatrist. Still didn't work.

[Apples Mk.II]

I was meeting with my best friend. That was enough to make me happy, but there was one factor I feared: She was picking her five year-old son from school bus. This kid saw me while in male in July. He remembers me since I gave him my Nintendo 64. I was Noah by that time.

So the mom says "This is Noah. The one that gave you the Nintendo 64"

Silence... Her mother had to tell me what she uttered. "But before she was a boy"

"She was a girl before, but she was dressind as a boy" She tells him.


I could only use the "Know your enemy" counter. "So, have you ever played the first Super Mario Bros?" I had hime brainwashed for 25 minutes.


I kinda felt better when I was completely sure I didn't pass. This mid weird stage is being the hardest.

[Apples Mk.II]

To an extreme amount. So much so that they couldn't get the blood today iand I have to reschedule. I'm an emotional wreck right now. But tthe psychiatrist told me "Willow, you are a strong woman."
I cried tears of joy over or for a good 10 minutes.
I'm now just totally demoralised, I don't want to go to class or anything. I feel like I'm going to be sick.

Ñé. I always look the other side while they do it and use my ability to send my brain kilometers away by reading every poster in the room, checking the printer model... But this time I looked back thinking she had finished. Not pretty. And I'm not use if it is getting more painful or it was a really bad nurse.


If it helps, at least you don't have claustrophobia. I haven't been able to enter again one place, and I hyperventilate in those tiny places so full of people.

[Lauren5]

Ñé. I always look the other side while they do it and use my ability to send my brain kilometers away by reading every poster in the room, checking the printer model... But this time I looked back thinking she had finished. Not pretty. And I'm not use if it is getting more painful or it was a really bad nurse.

Didn't have much to look at.
The sense of it though, it's almost as if I can feel it before it arrives. I try breathing, staying calm, but my arm won't allow anything to happen to it like it's sensing it's impending doom.
I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. I need to have this bloodwork done to see if I can go on hormones. I want to be that strong woman my psychiatrist tells me I am, but my body is rebelling.

[LordKAT]

Have you tried requesting NO₂? The gas dentists use.

[Lauren5]

Have you tried requesting NO₂? The gas dentists use.

I don't know if they have it or if it's covered by insurance or not. When I go in next time I'll ask abut it.
EDIT: Actually N₂O is used, NO₂ is deadly.

[Danielle Emmalee]

I don't know if they have it or if it's covered by insurance or not. When I go in next time I'll ask abut it.
EDIT: Actually N₂O is used, NO₂ is deadly.

NO₂....that gives me some bad flashbacks from an earlier interaction here on Susan's....but I can laugh about it now.

[Kittenswithmittens]

I was like "who would want to give their patients nitrogen dioxide?" Nerd alert lol. But yeah you should ask for it, it's not that hard to get. Or at least something like alepam. *hugs*

[LordKAT]

"..to err is human."


I guess I'm not an alien after all. Sorry for the wrong spelling, glad you figured out what I meant.

[Kittenswithmittens]

"..to err is human."


I guess I'm not an alien after all. Sorry for the wrong spelling, glad you figured out what I meant.

Good thing we live in 2013 - you can always blame autocorrect

[Lauren5]

I was like "who would want to give their patients nitrogen dioxide?" Nerd alert lol. But yeah you should ask for it, it's not that hard to get. Or at least something like alepam. *hugs*

I've been taking clonazepam, and it didn't make it any better. I'll do anything to get over the phobia. But it looks like it isn't going away.
I just want the results to see if I'm healthy enough for hormones. Does anyone else have this bad of a problem?

[Lauren5]

"..to err is human."
I guess I'm not an alien after all. Sorry for the wrong spelling, glad you figured out what I meant.

It's OK, not everyone is a master of chemistry.

I've known a few people who have a fear of needles, but I think yours is the worst I've ever heard of Willow.  Small comfort to hear.

Not really to me, that makes me sound terrible and feel even worse.
And usually this is passed down from family by experience, or stemmed from a bad experience in childhood. I've had neither. I'm so confused and just want Spiro and E so I can start, why do I have to do this part?
I've got a team working for me. The team is good, but can't win. Means I'm the problem.

[Danielle Emmalee]

\
Ok, sorry, chemical police here, NO2 is not deadly.  It is mildly irritating to some, but not deadly, except in the case that's all you have to breathe.  Atomic Nitrogen (diatomic as N₂ in it's natural state) composes ~78% of the air we breathe every day. 

Well it depends on concentration.  It is toxic in high concentrations i.e. what you would likely get if you requested it.  It could be compared to cigarette smoke.  It's deadly in a similar way.

[Sephirah]

Not really to me, that makes me sound terrible and feel even worse.
And usually this is passed down from family by experience, or stemmed from a bad experience in childhood. I've had neither. I'm so confused and just want Spiro and E so I can start, why do I have to do this part?
I've got a team working for me. The team is good, but can't win. Means I'm the problem.

You're not the problem, sweetie. Phobias are irrational fears. Fear that has no basis. Nothing to do with a bad experience. Bad experiences are rational, they're the mind's way of trying to prevent the same bad experience happening again. Phobias are no less real in their intensity though. It's not your fault. It just is what it is.

You're scared because you're scared. And that's all there needs to be to it. If you can't identify a cause, don't worry about it and just work on treating the symptoms. The things the psychiatrist tried with you were bound to be less effective since you were in the environment which terrified you. It's like trying to point out that lions don't often eat people when you're sat with your head in ones mouth.

The relaxation techniques are something you can try any time. You don't have to be in a stressful encounter. You can do them when you're just sat at home, chilling. They're designed just to relax you, that's really it. Not to combat heightened tension. That's more a sort of by product. If you practice them at times where you're not feeling scared, get used to doing them (especially the breathing exercises and the visualisations), noticing the way they make you feel, then you can sort of implant mental triggers into your mind. It's partly how hypnosis works when the hypnotist says "sleep" and you just do. It's a trigger, implanted by being put into a trance state prior to the experience.

You can do that too. You can program yourself to relax instinctively through repeated practice and exposure to the states of consciousness such techniques lead to.

[Kittenswithmittens]

If it is of any comfort at all Willow, you're not alone. I'm so scared of needles. They had to draw blood when a horse ran over me and pretty much stepped on my abdomen. Result? I passed out. So they had to rush me into the hospital in an ambulance, thinking it was some organ failure or whatever when it was just the needle.. .____. It's only natural to freak out, I just hope you find a way around it.

[Lauren5]

If it is of any comfort at all Willow, you're not alone. I'm so scared of needles. They had to draw blood when a horse ran over me and pretty much stepped on my abdomen. Result? I passed out. So they had to rush me into the hospital in an ambulance, thinking it was some organ failure or whatever when it was just the needle.. .____. It's only natural to freak out, I just hope you find a way around it.

I wish I would pass out, just for a minute, so they could draw the blood and get it over with.
I should probably focus on something else right now, my arms are starting to get ghost pains.

You're not the problem, sweetie. Phobias are irrational fears. Fear that has no basis. Nothing to do with a bad experience. Bad experiences are rational, they're the mind's way of trying to prevent the same bad experience happening again. Phobias are no less real in their intensity though. It's not your fault. It just is what it is.

You're scared because you're scared. And that's all there needs to be to it. If you can't identify a cause, don't worry about it and just work on treating the symptoms. The things the psychiatrist tried with you were bound to be less effective since you were in the environment which terrified you. It's like trying to point out that lions don't often eat people when you're sat with your head in ones mouth.

The relaxation techniques are something you can try any time. You don't have to be in a stressful encounter. You can do them when you're just sat at home, chilling. They're designed just to relax you, that's really it. Not to combat heightened tension. That's more a sort of by product. If you practice them at times where you're not feeling scared, get used to doing them (especially the breathing exercises and the visualisations), noticing the way they make you feel, then you can sort of implant mental triggers into your mind. It's partly how hypnosis works when the hypnotist says "sleep" and you just do. It's a trigger, implanted by being put into a trance state prior to the experience.

You can do that too. You can program yourself to relax instinctively through repeated practice and exposure to the states of consciousness such techniques lead to.

I'll give it a go, see if I can't improve.
I always hate trying my best at something, and still failing.

[Apples Mk.II]

Didn't have much to look at.
The sense of it though, it's almost as if I can feel it before it arrives. I try breathing, staying calm, but my arm won't allow anything to happen to it like it's sensing it's impending doom.
I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. I need to have this bloodwork done to see if I can go on hormones. I want to be that strong woman my psychiatrist tells me I am, but my body is rebelling.

You know, in my case it's more like two sides of a coin. I don't mind when somebody does it to (I even prefer to do the piercings withn autoclave needles), but... Heck, after seeing people self injecting HRT, I thought two things: a) THis must be much less harmful to the liver than oral, and b) What if I can't push the needle enough or I break it while inside and I can't take out, and I need to walkt to the ER with a needle inside my body? Nightmare Fuel.



To be honest, I openly talk about my claustrophobia, but what nobody knows is that my worst fear is anything related to eyes. I could not wear contact lenses because I was too scared of touching my eyes (whenever I do I retire it), and the first test experience was awful on the first removal. I ended getting lasik, but even with that I was insulted by my parents and the doctor for saying that I was the worst case ever existed, and that a retard that had it done at the same time than me hold it better than me. They sedated me to the maximum they could and they still argue I was the worst patient. I've never been so insulted in my whole life.

They have opened my gut, sewn my forehead, cut my skin with an electric scalpel, driven a burning rod through my nose and removed a mold stuck on my teeth with a hammer. I never panicked, even when I saw blood flowing from an open wound in my forehead. And yet I have been chastised for years every time the lasik is mentioned. I'm a masochist with no issues for holding on pain (compared to the mind this is nothing), but the eyes is my personal private phobia. In 2007 I nearly got a sharp metal piece stuck in my eye. When I was a kid they f*ck*ng put a cigaretter close to my cornea. I still feel unsafe after years of not wearing glasses.


I hate my family the more I remember about them.

[Lauren5]

Apple, all I can say is

[Amelia Pond]

Having the support of so many wonderful people during this rough time in my life but not being able to believe them when they tell me I deserve good things or that I'm a good person.

Amy