Anime
Happy: offers me an escape from life and i often put myself in the place of one of my favorite characters.
Unhappy: its only a temporary getaway that only leads to false hopes and dashed dreams triggering a more pure form of dysphoria that consumes me in the deepest aspects of my life.
All in all, im left satisfied yet hungry, together yet alone, loving yet unhappy. I find myself wanting fantasies that i know will never happen because of the way i am. The way i was made. I can never know a normal life. Only a life of pain.
I dont know what will happen next. I dont know who will be with me or who will be against me. But i do know that my life will go on. It stops for no one. And i will be me. Not an outer shell, not a girl hiding behind a mask, and not that perfect child my parents always wanted. I am human. I am me. Theres no other way i can be in order to be happy.