My mom came in while I was in bed, and said a few things. What she said was a mixed bag of sorts, as in some of it wasn't that good - ("Even though I will call you birthname, it doesn't mean I don't know that what you are going through is hard for you."). But she did say something that makes me a bit hopeful. She said "I think you are dealing with this the best way you can." I said "I try." She said "No, you are. Your dad and I have had multiple conversations now about how much nicer you are to be around and how we have had some very nice talks with you lately."
She said last night that she believes my transition was a choice. And she probably always will, because 5 years later she still believes I "chose" to act on liking girls too. I guess how I see it is if she is going to believe it was a choice, she better believe it was the right choice and the best choice.
Hormones are actually the best thing I've ever done for myself. although I have a very long way to go, and often hate myself when I see that I still look female, my chest, etc...I am 100x happier with the right hormone in me and that is definitely a beginning.