This thread reminded me of some good YouTubes, they aren't perfect but they are the best I have seen so far.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xD_1pBiwaeQ&list=UUamaea05bOJ0q42F9iyaFMA&index=106This video explains how to transition to one of two sexes.
We tend to define a thing by looking at it instead of looking inside ourselves. As long as woman or man = some pre-determined/pre-defined thing that is separate from us - we will never have any connection to it and we will never experience it as an aspect of our being. Rather we will tend to adapt it to suit our needs, modify it, adopt some aspects of it, toss out others and overlook still others.
You cannot think of woman as a pre-defined thing and experience a M2F transition that leads to "just being one of the girls." Unless you can realize there is no spoon. Woman is not a thing, she is an experience. This is my answer to the OP. One has to realize that one's ideas about an experience do not equal the experience, the only thing that equals the experience is the experience. Believing that an experience is a thing sets it apart as being separate from us and causes it to be so inflexible that we can never experience it for ourselves.
Transition is a platform for experience, that is all transition is. Many who transition get SRS and then are like, "WTF, I finally had SRS and I don't feel any different." They haven't had the experiences of being female yet. SRS is not a female experience, it only paves the way for the experience of being female. Life prior to transition creates a system of beliefs about everything, what it means to be male, what it means to be female. Both typically from the standpoint of never really experiencing either. In order to experience being female, in order to just be one of the girls one must have 'experiences' after transition, experiences that change previously held ideas about life, about ourselves, about being male or female, ideas we formed prior to or during transition.
Enlightenment is something that many people have sought and they always wanted someone to explain it to them so they could know it, but enlightenment cannot be explained because enlightenment is an experience, it is not an idea. So instead people would pose riddles for the student so that the student could have the experience of realization. Realization is an interesting word, it basically means to make real. To real-ize, it is when an idea is no longer an idea, it is real. The most real thing we can have in this life is an experience. When we realize something it becomes more than an idea, it becomes an experience. Ideas are two dimensional, they exist in the mind and on paper. An idea won't change anything unless it is implemented. Existing as an idea was something I did before I started passing as female. It was not the best of times.
Having ideas about being female is more of a deterrent than it is helpful, unless those ideas arise out of the experience of being female. Not what we believe being female is, what we experience as female after a successful M2F transition with people who only know us as female. That is the only way to bend the spoon.
Does it matter? No, it doesn't matter to me. I already transitioned and I have had many incredible experiences. This isn't about me anymore and I don't have any investment in what you choose to do with your life. I am just here to tell you to forget what you know and believe in yourself and since it is only advice you can take it or leave it. Whatever you choose will be the right thing to for you to do because you chose it. Is one experience any better than the other? That's for you to decide and it depends upon what you want to get out of transition. You will know success when you experience success, not when you live up to someone else's expectations.
