Uhh ... did I post a thread that said: 'Should we tell our partners that we're trans?" No ... I posted a thread about an issue that matters an awful lot to me and as much as the male part of me is delighted to have had thousands of views and 10 pages of replies, the part that just wants to know about interacting as a woman with other women is feeling frustrated and a little bit put out ...
But for what it's worth ...
I think O_O has a very valid point when she says that there is a difference between the fact that people accept you and the way that they experience being with you. if a really close friend that you thought was straight tells you that he's gay, you'd still accept him, and like him and take his side (at least, I damn well hope anyone on here would), but you couldn't help but see him and think of him in a slightly different way. Not necessarily worse: but difference. You've had a significant piece of new data and it's bound to have an effect.
Ironically, the very people who are attacking O_O for her view that it's not necessary to tell partners that one is trans are implicitly accepting that the information changes the way that the other person in the relationship might experience them. Clearly, if it made no difference whether or not anyone knew you had once been male, it would not be necessary to say so. But precisely because it DOES make a difference, then you either say, 'It's only right and fair and honest, for everyone's sake, to be explicit about being trans as early as possible in any serious - or potentially serious - relationship. Or you say: 'You know, I don't want him to think of me as a transsexual, because I know it will change things. I want him to treat me and love me and ->-bleeped-<- me like a woman. So I'm going to stay a 'normal' woman in his eyes if I possibly can.
Personally, I think either choice is valid. If there's one thing I've learned about relationships - ones own and other people's - it's that generalisations, rules and value judgements are pretty much irrelevant. Every single relationship is different and has its own rules and it is entirely up to the people in that relationship to conduct it as they see fit and either reap the rewards or suffer the consequences. And there's no damn point anyone else sticking their noses in.
On the question of transitioning at six. No, no one has completely transitioned at that age yet. But yes, kids that young certainly are being diagnosed with GID, allowed to live in their chosen gender, rather than their assigned one, and are later given puberty-blocking drugs so that they have not suffered from the physical changes that would occur if they allowed their birth gender to take its course. In the UK there is at least one post-operative MTF who had SRS at 16, and the trend is towards recognising gender identity issues as early as possible. Of course, doctors still have to wait until the patient is ol enough to be able to make an informed decision about whether to transition. But the road that leads to transition can certainly start as young as six.
And now, CAN WE PLEASE GET BACK ON-TOPIC???
I dream of a day when I can go shopping with a girlfriend, have lunch together and just be her girlfriend too ... I'd love to go to a Pilates class and have the other women treat me exactly the same way (good or bad) as they would any of the other women there ... I want to be able to join my village's all-female book club (or one like it in another town or village), go on a girls' holiday ... bump into another woman in the street or at the store and go off for a cup of coffee and a gossip together.
And all I ever wanted to know from this thread is: can my dreams ever possibly come true?
