It took me a long time to work out that I am asexual, because it's not a concept that's in the cultural mindset. I now see that I have very strong attractions to people (gender-regardless) but they aren't sexual attractions, they're the desire to touch and be touched, to kiss, be physically close, but not be sexual. I also have strong romantic attractions to people, in the same way. The culture I live in has strongly encourages me to assume that if I'm feeling any or all of the above, I must also want sex, and I went along with that uncomfortably for decades, and it's ruined every relationship I've ever been in (and that's leaving aside the effect of GD and the consequences of an abuse history). I'd very much welcome an asexual but very tactile romantic relationship with someone. Ah, well, a person can dream...
I stopped thinking of myself as bi the first time I found myself attracted to someone before knowing what their gender was - and I'm very strongly drawn to gender ambiguity, as my "orientation". Perhaps the best term for me would be non-bi, since I'm attracted to non-binary folk! But I like the term polysensual (I think I may have coined it, but who cares) because I've never been comfortable with the pan- prefix, when applied to me.
