Does anyone get told they're "not trans enough" ?

[BlackBird]

I don't know whether this Is a very common thing In the trans community since I tend to stray away from my own kind but lately I've been getting denied of actually being male and get people saying. "No trust me, You're Androgynous. You're a genderqueer, You're not boyish enough". 

Like I'm sorry to rant but what exactly determines being "Boy enough", There are plenty of different boys, Feminine, Masculine and everything In between. Besides, Who wants to be "Trans enough" we aren't living as a label, We're men. 

So now I'm wondering, How common are feminine transmen? Is anyone here femme or more femme than average?

[Devlyn]

Does anyone get told they're "not trans enough" ?


Not here on Susan's Place. Hugs, Devlyn

[Jared]

I wonder if there's someone doesn't get told they're not trans enough My mom and dad never asked this question cause they know me well enough to know that I am. But there are people in my family who tried this trick.

[LocustToybox]

I consider myself to be fairly feminine, but I have been holding off on expressing myself femininely until my voice deepens and I get some noticeable facial hair. I have some really feminine interests and things that I like, such as shopping (I absolutely adore shopping, especially for suits and semi-formal wear), doing other people's make up, and I am very anal about smelling good. For me, I am more concerned with passing as a biological male than conforming to male norms. I don't know if you are the same way, but this has caused some people to insult my masculinity and tell me that I should act more like a guy.   

[BlackBird]

I would never fit In as a stereotypical male, I don't think at least.

I am actually the same way about smell, People tell me I always smell like a girl so I get very freaked out about how I smell.

I'm sure people would tell me to act more like a guy but honestly, I'm me. If me Isn't good enough then they're not good enough to be my friend.

[LocustToybox]

I am actually the same way about smell, People tell me I always smell like a girl so I get very freaked out about how I smell.

My dad is of the opinion that I go through an inhuman amount of axe 

[BlackBird]

Haha! I love "Axe" (Here In Australia we call It Lynx) -- My favorite Is Africa and I have to get a spray every 2-3 weeks, I can't smell deodorant on myself so I tend to use a lot more than I should and I still can't smell It.

[FTMDiaries]

Have you seen KingGutterFace's vids on YouTube? He's not to everybody's taste, but one of my favourite vids of his is the one in which he discusses this very subject.

Warning: bad language:


Like he says, "You are simply too fabulous to not be who you are"

[BlackBird]

@FTMDiaries: I was actually watching KingGutterFace earlier today. He's fantastic In his videos. He's completely right about everything he stands for.

Unfortunately this subject does happen quite a lot where I am, There's not a big.. support on trans* people. Australia Is quite rough when It comes to all that, At least not where I am.

Lmao at the "Too Fabulous" -- I totally agree!

[Natkat]

Well yeah, in my country theres 2 sides of this, theres the goverment who dosen't want to help people if they arn't "trans enough". (ex if they think your too femenine or masuline or whatever they think, they might refuse you help) So alot of people have to lie or pretend to be more steryotypical than they actually are.

another side of the topic is everyday life in and outside the trans comunety, theres general ignorant who dosen't understand much of the trans*topic but also in the trans comunety theres both great acceptence at the diffrence and ignorance for those who arn't typical will harm other transexuals for not being taken serious.
So some trans people are in for better rights for transexuals but not for anyone who isn't binary of any kinds.

I personally won't prefern the word femme but I guess in a way I am,
I just try not to put on genderlabels too much on how I should act or dress or whatever im femenine or masculine, and insteed I try to do what I want, no matter if this is typical male or female.
I am still accepted as male yet I do get comments somethimes not to be "trans enough" and that my image could give a bad view for transgenders who is more binary.

[Natkat]

Well yeah, in my country theres 2 sides of this, theres the goverment who dosen't want to help people if they arn't "trans enough". (ex if they think your too femenine or masuline or whatever they think, they might refuse you help) So alot of people have to lie or pretend to be more steryotypical than they actually are.

another side of the topic is everyday life in and outside the trans comunety, theres general ignorant who dosen't understand much of the trans*topic but also in the trans comunety theres both great acceptence at the diffrence and ignorance for those who arn't typical will harm other transexuals for not being taken serious.
So some trans people are in for better rights for transexuals but not for anyone who isn't binary of any kinds.

I personally won't prefern the word femme but I guess in a way im viewed that way as a man the same way I where vied masculine when I where seen as a girl.

I just try not to put on genderlabels too much on how I should act or dress or whatever im femenine or masculine, and insteed I try to do what I want, no matter if this is typical male or female.
I am still accepted as male yet I do get comments somethimes not to be "trans enough" and that my image could give a bad view for transgenders who is more binary

[GnomeKid]

nope... can't say that I have.

[Nygeel]

I've been called not trans enough for various reasons through my transition. First I was told I wasn't trans enough because I didn't feel ready for hormones. Then it was because I was fat. Another thing was because I didn't want top surgery. Being comfortable with penetration was another thing used against me. People will use the strangest reasons to tell you why you're not who you are.

[BlackBird]

Wow, Even for being overweight? I don't even understand that logic AT ALL. 

People come In all different varieties, Whether you.. Don't want surgery, Do want surgery, Like penetration, Don't like It, Etc. That does not stop us from being us. That's what MAKES us.

Their reasons for me Is because I refuse to cut my hair, I like my hair, It's a security blanket for me although It heavily alters my passing. 

Also things like.. I don't want hormones but that's only for some personal things like body hair, Etc.

At the end of the day, Only we can decide what and who we are and anyone who disagrees can find someone who Isn't us. 

[Edge]

When I was still questioning and considered myself genderfluid, a couple people who posted in a thread in the androgyne section were rather dismissive of non-binary people in general because they seemed to be under the impression that it was a choice.

[ataraxiamachine]

It seems related enough to note that I've often wondered if returning to school to finish my degree, being in a program where I spent a lot of time with, and formed close bonds with a lot of not-stereotypically macho guys, was what finally gave me "permission" to come out...as if my whole perception of what it meant (to be allowed) to be male shifted.

[Natkat]

I've been called not trans enough for various reasons through my transition. First I was told I wasn't trans enough because I didn't feel ready for hormones. Then it was because I was fat. Another thing was because I didn't want top surgery. Being comfortable with penetration was another thing used against me. People will use the strangest reasons to tell you why you're not who you are.

most of the explanations seams familiar but how can you not be trans for being owerweight???

[BlackBird]

@Nat: I've been wondering the same thing all morning. Those bullies don't make sense, I think they just spit out whatever they can think of at the time.

[androgynoid]

I definitely have. One incident I remember was when I was told that I shouldn't take T because I'm non-binary. Only in much nastier words.

[Simon]

Nope, I'm on the opposite end where I do alright in the cis world but other transguys usually think I'm "too stereotypically male". Seriously, I've had feminine guys say that to me online. Crap gets slung both ways.