Emotional difficulty?

[Heather]

And, yes, ultimately it was my decision, even if coerced (I appreciate the recognition that it was coercion: many wish to argue that coercion is impossible) and that's the hardest part of my regret: I knew what made me truly happy, but, due to the HRT changes, that happy existence (being non-op) was permanently taken away from me. I made the choice I thought best from the options that remained available and in conditions that made clear thinking difficult (depression and regular HRT changes.) However, it's now clear I was wrong and I feel very strongly that my body is disfigured. Further, it has caused suicide ideation, something I haven't experienced for nearly a year, to return, and that's with being on an anti-depressant medication that was effective before surgery.

Agent J I'm sorry you've gotten such poor treatment from the so called medical professionals where you live. Your going to have to learn to cope with this. And I think you will because I don't think you would have made it this far if you weren't a survivor. Sure we can dwell on the mistakes of are past and wish we had done things differently but we can't. And we all do are best to move on. Like I said in my earlier post acceptance is the most important part of this. Once you accept this you will move on with your life.

[Agent_J]

Acceptance is what I'm attempting. This is a point where Partial SRS would have been far better - having to deal with my surgically altered body as dilation, etc., requires I do does me in emotionally.

[Jamie D]

You know, Agent J, you have your S.O. to help you.  (It is Wing Rider?)  You are not in this alone.  And you have your friends here.

Your's is a cautionary tale - I would hope every pre-op or non-op member could see it.  I wish you the very best in your recovery, both physically and emotionally.

[milktea]

can't help saying this medical system bears so much resemblance to...iran???!!

[Dahlia]

can't help saying this medical system bears so much resemblance to...iran???!!

The Iranian MTF are not into women for sure. That's something typical Western.

[Nicolette]

The Iranian MTF are not into women for sure. That's something typical Western.

That's because gay men are being forced into changing their sex. The punishment for being a gay man in Iran is hanging.

[Agent_J]

Yes; I am an asexual lesbian (romantically interested in women; not interested in sex at all) so...

I am married, yes, but, of late, she has been making it about her to a significant degree, e.g. she worries that I won't do my aftercare and will get an infection and it's a horrible emotional load for her.

[Tristan]

yes.. if your not into guys i guess having a vagina really isnt needed?

[natastic]

yes.. if your not into guys i guess having a vagina really isnt needed?

What?

I sleep with women and I'm not okay with having a penis.

[Tristan]

Really? Why not if it's ok for me to ask? If not that's ok

[calico]

Really? Why not if it's ok for me to ask? If not that's ok

I am going to step up to the plate to this one, and say sexual preference/orientation is not related to GID.
just because someone is attracted to women does not mean they would want or feel fine with what they have on their body because of this preference.
Having GID has nothing to do with sexual preference and it should bear no reference to it, I understand why she would not want to have a penis, if I were attracted to women I still wouldn't want it as I would see it as a deformity that should never be there, just because someone is a lesbian does not mean they want a "penis"

[suzifrommd]

Really? Why not if it's ok for me to ask? If not that's ok

My body is the wrong shape.

I don't mind having a male tool. It's produced two wonderful children, lots of pleasure, and is useful in grotty toilets.

But it's not what I should have. When I see women (which is pretty much all the time) I want what they have, because then I'd be the right shape.

Can't justify it rationally or on utilitarian grounds. Something in my brain just WANTS a vagina.

[Agent_J]

I'll second all of the above; as the general post-op depression abates and my feelings gain focus, it's clear to me that I should have been non-op - I have a very strong sense that my new genital configuration is wrong for me. I'm also lesbian and asexual, which further goes to how unrelated gender identity and sexuality are.

[Jamie D]

yes.. if your not into guys i guess having a vagina really isnt needed?

Yikes.  Some people transition for reasons other than getting laid.

[Renee]

Yikes.  Some people transition for reasons other than getting laid.

Yep, I don't care about sex, haven't had it in about 20 years and don't care if I ever get it again. I just want to be happy with my body and myself.

[KateConnors]

yes.. if your not into guys i guess having a vagina really isnt needed?

I think folks have misconstrued Tristan's post here.  She was responding with respect to partial SRS, i.e., (pardon the bluntness) clit and lips but no vagina.  Lack of vagina does not mean penis.

[Agent_J]

Given the flow of the conversation, that was (and remains) unclear to me.